Saw my ex just bike by today

I had taken the day off work to help a friend move. While we were out at the back of the truck all of a sudden my stomach turned. It took a second or so for my awareness to catch up that my ex, who I have not seen for over 10 weeks and NC for 22 days, had just biked by. She did not swerve or look around so I am guessing she did not see me.

It caught me completely unawares. I had reached a really good place yesterday where I felt I was moving towards closure - knowing I also have a long road ahead. But I felt empowered. Just seeing her upset me so much! I went to the bathroom and cried, and then had to use all my mental energy not to engage with the narrative again: why was she not at work? what was she doing there? did she change jobs? blah blah blah

I am upset with the universe for only giving me 20 hours of respite since getting to my place of empowerment yesterday. If there is a message in this then it must be not to get complacent or let my guard down. Stay focused, stay on task.

I don't know how those who have LC or more do it. Respect to you all. xoxo