Received an email--he's really a very sick guy :=(

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#1 Sep 14 - 9PM

Deidre40

Received an email--he's really a very sick guy :=(

I can't believe I'm going to say, what I'm about to say. You know, from dating a narc/psychopath, to breaking up with him...and to the end of the healing process--I want to say, your emotions do run the full gamut. From sadness, to anger, to rage, to enlightenment, to peace...you go through a lot in the stages of healing.

But, now? I have utter pity for this man. I didn't realize what a sick man he is. He sent me an email tonight. I have not heard directly from him in months. He would either bait me (to contact him) on a website we were on (for those who remember my threads about that), or he'd 'use' our friends to get to me. But hasn't directly reached out in a long while. His email said the following (no Hi Dee, nothing)...

''So! I broke up with my gf. You are all alike, Dee. Cunts!! Useless, ignorant cunts. Now, I'm off to find me another one. lol! Bye sweetie.''

What kind of a person does this? ''Sweetie'' is something he said when we would argue...and he'd say it in a very sinister way. 'Sweeeee--teeee'' Like that. Ugh. Makes my skin crawl.

Attached at the end of the email was a link to a new dating website he's on. (not the one he was on that my friends told me about, and that I saw him on, myself at one point) He had all these news pics of himself, with this mean...cold profile. Basically, telling women what he wants...and if they don't like it, don't bother replying.

Why did he send me this link??? I'm so disgusted by this, I don't know what to say. This hasn't sent my healing backwards. I know who he is, but everyone? He's sicker than I thought. I pray he leaves me alone. We live a thousand miles apart, thankfully. But, I haven't felt worried in a long time, over him.

No worries, everyone. Remaining NC. I had nothing to say to him before...and definitely nothing to say to him now.
Anyways, just sharing...any thoughts you have to this would be helpful. ((hugs))

#2 Sep 15 - 7PM

faithinthefuture

Deidre

You what I love the most? You not answering him is going to rage inside of him and eat away at him all the more. I'm truly not a vindictive person but damn these cold blooded assholes. He deserves it. I mean really!!!! It's almost comical.

#3 Sep 15 - 9AM

onwithmylife

Deidre

It is proof these men are so sick and twisted, they care nothing for any of us, and all the rage and anger has nothing to do with us, I will bet my last dollar that anger at women, , whore, slut as mine called me, is at their mother and all the damage and emeshement she did to them as little boys growing up.my take

#4 Sep 15 - 9AM

dabussard

Deidre40

Oh my yours is definitely a psyopath.. Yours and mine could be brothers... Oh My... I hate yours just about as much as I hate mine... Bless you and stay strong! Damn Jacknuts!!!

#5 Sep 15 - 9AM

Deidre40

I seriously want revenge

This jerk had the nerve to send me a link to my email, of all these women who are ‘’interested’’ in his profile on the new website. And he wrote…’’Here’s a buffet of useless cunts that are interested in me. I can move on, just like that. Jealous? lol’’ I want revenge. Not for me. I don’t care about me anymore in this. I’m over him, and his idiotic, childish, evil antics. I am. I’m outraged over the fact that yet again, he hurts another woman…this woman seemed so kind and sweet, I was told…and she had a little boy, too. I cried last night for her. There has to be a way to embarrass this man. I could post the dating website link on the website we once belonged to…I could make a fake account on there, and post it. He would be mortified, trust me. His profile is hilariously stupid, and all those who think he’s this upstanding guy, would see him for the scumbag he is. I could then make up a fake username and go onto the dating website, and tell the women who he sent me their links, to report him, since he’s passing their profiles around. I just reread all that and I sound crazy. But, this man keeps getting away with hurting women! I’m tired of it. He just keeps steamrolling along, and he’s going to keep hurting women. I know that the woman he was dating did nothing wrong. No way. At worst, she wasn’t ‘obedient’ to him, and that’s all it took probably for him to d&d her. I can’t believe I’m back to rage over this jackass. And it’s not even about me, anymore. I feel like I need to stop this man. I’m not kidding. :=(

#6 Sep 15 - 9AM (Reply to #17)

dabussard

Deidre40

If I remember right Soapergirl put her Jacknut's name on a do not date list or something... Bet, that would burn his ass... This way if a new girl googled his name, it might pop up.. I know when I started dating my jacknut... I googled his name... And, I found nothing bad... I understand your rage... Heck, it makes me angry...

#7 Sep 15 - 8AM

Hunter

Ha, we knew this nut job,

Ha, we knew this nut job, Ding,Ding, We knew you would hear from him!!! Your miles away from him, sure give him to us here in the Midwest!! Awesome! Thank God you cut this off!!! Hunter

#8 Sep 14 - 11PM

Deidre40

something funny i thought of

this is the worst hoover attempt i've ever heard of! lol night, everyone. ;) stay strong. stay nc.

#9 Sep 14 - 10PM

Sherbear

oh my gosh, D...

This guy sucks the big one so bad. I can't believe these assholes. sometimes, WHO DOES THIS??? I know, I know....sick, narcissistic, toxic, disordered men. I'm sorry you had to get that from him, but again it's just more confirmation for you. I'm proud of you Dee, you give me strength to keep going! I hate this guy! Love and peace to you tonight....just let it bounce off and keep going, you're doing great. xoxo

#10 Sep 14 - 10PM (Reply to #13)

Deidre40

sherbear

oh hi sherbear! thanks for your words of support. yes, i don't plan on replying. i read it. went to the website. and in a strange way, i felt like i was getting an email from a stranger. that's another thing with these people...they don't ever evolve. or move on. it's like he is exactly stuck back to when we broke up...filled with rage at me...angry, and seething. filled with revenge. as if no time has passed all these months. lol it's crazy. the only thing i can't help but wonder is this. and i know you all will tell me not to think like this. but, i am wondering if he wanted to break up with someone, because i broke up with him. he's very into control. and that he's moved on so quickly, he's on a new dating website. it seems like he is vengeful. you know the pics...they were recent. i couldn't help but wonder if she took them. :=( doesn't that just make your stomach ache? it's been a surreal day. stay nc people!!!! that's all i have to say!

#11 Sep 14 - 10PM

Caligirl

D, omg, this guy is a sick freak

a sociopath, psychopath, N/P and more! I'm glad he lives far away from you, sweetie....a very disturbed man indeed! And why were you opening up that link? ;) delete, delete, delete. Lol

#12 Sep 14 - 10PM (Reply to #2)

Deidre40

caligirl

I know, I shouldn't have. Seeing him on the site didn't bother me. I think what bothered me was that he just broke up with a girl, and he is on the hunt again. That quickly. As if she meant absolutely nothing. Like she's yesterday's garbage. I do believe he views women as 'useless cunts.' Thanks caligirl!

#13 Sep 14 - 11PM (Reply to #9)

Sunafterrain

Dee

I think you're quite fortunate, really. That email leaves no doubt at all as to what he is. NONE. I WISH I could get an email like that LOL! Doubt is what eats you alive, even if it's just a little doubt. Most of us don't get that kind of "closure". And truthfully? His rage has nothing to do with you at all, nor does it have anything to do with her either. He does all that stuff just to get a reaction. He's short on supply for the moment, so it doesn't have to be positive reaction, negative is just as fruitful for them. He could care less what you do, where you are. ANd he could care less about the one he just dumped. It's always always always about him. He is an entity unto himself ENTIRELY LOL! You lucky dog you!

#14 Sep 14 - 11PM (Reply to #10)

Deidre40

sunafterrain

I know you're right, but your post has made me cry. Not your post, I should say. I just felt overwhelmed with sadness reading what you wrote...he doesn't care about anyone. Not her. Not me. For some reason, knowing this, makes me very sad. Not that I'm sad he doesn't care. I'm sad that people like this exist. I don't know how a HUMAN BEING can become like this.

#15 Sep 15 - 11PM (Reply to #11)

Pride and Shame

It is sad

It's hard to accept they are that bad. Really bad. I have such a hard time with this. We all do, I think. Seeing your post, and THANK YOU for sharing it, makes you see one of them with their mask off. In black and white. No pretense. Yours, mine, hers - I know it's inside every single one of them, just barely under the surface. It's seething in there. But, my God, how they cover it up. Some better than others. First it shocks you, then you get mad, then you get sad. I think they know that they are different, bad. They just really don't care unless they are getting what they want (sex, feeling better than others by bringing people down, etc). And that will never fill up their empty little damaged bodies and souls. Our love, attention, adoration just drains through endlessly. We're all alike? Wrong, they are all alike. Every single nasty evil one of them.

#16 Sep 14 - 10PM (Reply to #3)

Caligirl

D, You're welcome!

Yes, and what is scary is how he said, "off to find another ONE." I mean so cold, removed, and disrespectful! His hatred of women and lack of conscience is appalling!

#17 Sep 14 - 10PM (Reply to #4)

Deidre40

caligirl

Yes, I know. I knew he was a bad guy. I did. But, I didn't think he was THIS bad off. What's sad though, is he desperately wants to be loved. I know that about him. I think he has sunk so low, he can't find his way out of his own anger, and rage. I feel so sorry for the girl. The girl I chatted with today, she told me the girl he broke up with, still has all the pics up of them on her FB. omg. This is horrible. He must be in supply heaven knowing that she still has the pics up. Ugh. Gosh, I wish I could talk to her and say...RUN FOR THE HILLS...BE THANKFUL IT'S OVER...RUN RUN! But, I can't. I don't even know her at all. The only bright spot with this ordeal, is I no longer need validation from men. Which is ultimately why I'm not replying. If he thinks I'm a useless cunt? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE! I'm healed. I really really am! I don't care if he thinks horrible things of me. So, if I had to go through this dark valley to learn that? It was worth it. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I'm stronger than I have ever been. The old me would have caved with this email. My opinion of me matters. God's opinion of me. Not his. Took a while to get here, but I did it. Thanks for being here for me tonight, caligirl. :=)

#18 Sep 14 - 11PM (Reply to #5)

Sunafterrain

Dee

I think you're doing great! It's good to see you at this level of healing. I want to point something out here. Narcs don't want to be loved. They want admiration. Adoration. They don't want love because they have no idea what love IS because they cannot feel it. You cannot want what you do not know. He doesn't know love and he never will. That's what is sad and the most tragic about these people and even then, they don't feel bad. They don't think there's a thing wrong with them. They like what they do, Dee, which makes sadness even worse. Keep up the good work!

#19 Sep 15 - 1PM (Reply to #8)

Susan32

Admiration or Hatred

Famous Narc Sam Vaknin said that Narcs hate being loved, but they love being hated. Telling the ex-Psych prof that I loved him precipitated the final D&D in all its brutality. I've never been treated with such cruelty before or since. I was raged at, berated, he lectured me ad nauseam, he'd be publicly reducing me to tears, flaunting his girlfriend, launching a smear campaign. He wanted to be hated or adored... because those are earned. Love (especially the unconditional kind) is NOT earned. I told him he had a PROBLEM when he admitted that he wanted admiration or hatred, not to be respected as a human being. He wanted a pedestal or to be pilloried... but love was not in his vocabulary. After the final D&D, when I told the ex-P I cared about him, even if he didn't care about me, he told me that my feelings were for him were a diversion from my daily life, not to think about him but focus on myself (he had lost so much credibility then) The fact I wanted him to be happy with his girlfriend blew him away. It wasn't something he expected. He was SHOCKED that I considered love more important than appropriate behavior. He saw love as a weakness that HAD to be punished.

#20 Sep 15 - 1AM (Reply to #7)

Sea

They dont know love

This is so true. My N says he dont love anyone only his mama (agn something weird here) He said something v similar to what your N said. He said all women are same they are all mad! Demanding, complaining all the time and needy. He hates woman but loves having sex with them!

#21 Sep 14 - 11PM (Reply to #6)

Deidre40

sunafterrain

really? do you think so? i know that they don't understand true love, but they don't want to feel it, you think?

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