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Really want to break NC to curse him out...

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#1 Jan 19 - 8AM
Stillstanding
Stillstanding's picture

Really want to break NC to curse him out...

I've been NC since 12/31/11 with my ex who I think is more of a psycopath than a Narc. We have a daughter together and I've been trying to collect child support from him since 9/2010. The loser found a loop hole in the system he knows if he avoids getting served the case can't move forward.
So I called child support today and they told me the last time the sheriff tried serving him was on 11/3. He moved to another place on the 4th! The asshole told me he was forced to move due to his landlord moving out of state (which I found out it was a lie). What angers me is that he came to me a month after the sheriff tried serving him and he begged me to take him back! I can't understand how a parent can do that to his own child. I just want to curse him out.
He's moved countless times last year so he's purposely doing this. Everytime he moved he gave me a different excuse. I just didn't think he was capable of being so evil.

Jan 19 - 10AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Please don't make matters any

Please don't make matters any worse than they are for you! Breaking NC at this point would just hurt you emotionally, you are dealing with enough right now. I would try my best to remain calm, continue to reach out to probation/family court and work diligently to get this matter resolved. I know that doesn't help to put food on the table, but its what you have to do right now. Eventually, if he can not be served, they will put a warrant out for his arrest, no? I would ask how many attempts and if that is what happens next. Are you employed right now? If not, or you have minimal income, contact the Welfare Dept and apply for assistance immediately. Trust me, the state will be after him at that point, because deadbeat Dad's ARE expected to reimburse the Welfare Dept. There's always two ways to skin a cat. Learn of all of your options. I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this. As far as your question, asking how a Dad can do this........he is a narc, he feels nothing towards anyone, the love for their children, is only on the surface, what he has learned by exposure to other parents and children. He cares only about himself. These deadbeat Dads, piece of work, they don't seem to understand that the money they are giving is because their child needs to eat and be clothed. They view it as money going to the Mother for her own needs. It's ridiculous. Good luck and stay strong!
Jan 19 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
Stillstanding
Stillstanding's picture

Well I broke NC. Not proud

Well I broke NC. Not proud but I'm actually ok. I just feel like he's now personally attacking my daughter and it got the best of me. He of course came up with a million excuses as to why he hasn't been served. He even asked me to see him today. I told him the truth that he's sick even though he doesn't realize it and that he's a lost cause. I immediately blocked him again without giving him the chance to reply(this whole conversation was done via email). One thing that really gets to me is that when I had a FB account (I deleted it to help me go NC) he hacked into it and saved all of the pictures I had of my daughter. He carries those pictures of her on his phone and uses them to make himself look like a good involved father. He uses my daughter to make himself look good even though he hasn't seen her since September and didn't even want to see her on Christmas. Now I really know what this monster is capable of and nothing new I find out about him will surprise me. Even when we were together I felt like a single mom and for the last 2 years I've been pulling the weight on my own. We'll be ok regardless if he pays child support or not. I currently live with my mother and I'm a fulltime nursing student. Thankfully I have savings, my family's support, and I'm graduating in April. I know things will get better. I will not under any circumstance break NC again. I won't allow this sicko to get to me anymore.
Jan 19 - 8AM
needing2know
needing2know's picture

If he works have him served

If he works have him served at work, I had the same problem with my first exh, they couldn't find him to get him served, so what I did was I gave them a picture of him, and when I found out if he was at a friend's house or whatever they had a chance to serve him. They actually got him in a bar lola. If you know where he hangs out , that's where you need to tell them to look. Sooner or later they will get him. If you have his licence plate # give them that too.
Jan 19 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
Stillstanding
Stillstanding's picture

I can't afford a lawyer so I

I can't afford a lawyer so I have to use my states enforcement office which is swamped with cases. They told me serving him at his job would be the last resort (I guess trying to get him served for the last 2 years is not enough). He also jumps from job to job. I do have his ss# and license #. I'm going to call and see if that would help them. Thank you for your advice.