RE: Can one have a narcissist only as partner for sex

I have been to hell and I am still on my way back to earth. This topic on narcissism has made to look at myself, ex partners and my parents. It has made me to understand behavior of the human being. I am still with my N but I have realised that I do not have a future with her. Is it possible to have a narcissist only as a sex partner.

cynthia's picture

no not really especially if they suffer from ED,
Marie's picture

Sorry I have to wonder why would you? Why do you want to have any kind of contact with them? No matter how good the sex is, mine wasn't it was the worst but even if it was it makes me sick to think of him touching me. He once went to brush the hair from my eyes and it made me flinch and pull away. Don't know about you but mine was a womanizer. Not only does he disgust me now but with all the diseases out there I wouldn't want to be someone I couldn't trust. Mine often mentioned how friends of his frequented hookers. I'm sure he does as well. I would rethink wanting to put your life at risk with one of these lying dirtbags.
Beachcolors's picture

Mine was way to cheap to pay for something he can get for free with a little work.....but he did always know the going rate on Craigslist so who knows. But, more importantly, hookers only allow the to "get off" sexually when what they really need for the ultimate orgasmic release is the emotional destruction of another person. There is nothing more wonderful to an N than basking in the afterglow of the emotional meltdown they just caused. Sick F***ers!
Monica's picture

Mine actually admitted to me about a month ago that he was cheap. He used that exact word to describe himself. He had me free and with little work. He admitted to me himself that he is cheap. And I have now removed myself from his life by my own choice. I am sure he is getting off on the pain he has caused me. So even in shutting him out and dealing with my immense pain, I am giving him pleasure. That sucks.
Beachcolors's picture

It does suck beacuse everything about the drama of your "relationship" gets them off. If you fight they love it. If your mad they love it. If you leave they love it. If you block them they love it. It's a no win, they turn everything to their gain and make it valadate their evil intentions. That why no contact is the only way.
dolce's picture

You've just been to hell and back, but you want more? I swear, we answer our own questions here. Maybe we just need someone to play back what we already know. Have you read the posts that mention the bonding that goes on during sex? They use sex to manipulate and pull you into their other games, so why would you do that? Better to be alone than with a monster. C'mon, this was an easy one and you know what to do, right? ~Free to Be~
Marie's picture

Dolce, yes! Some of my posts are exactly that; a search for validation, someone to play back the answer I've already come up with. I agree I'd much rather be alone than with these wackos.
cupcake's picture

Barbara told me a really good one which I have printed out and put on my mirror to remind me that I am a human being with a heart and feelings and don't deserve to be treated as a free hooker. In case you can't find it on the forum here it is: "No woman deserves to be a dirty little secret, unless you want to pay her cash up front". Love it!! Our body parts are holy, precious, special and deserve to be treated as such. Not as plumbing parts for the entertainment and pleasure of a sick twisted evil disgusting freakish non human lying alien.
Liberty's picture

I think this is a really good question- as long as you are aware of why you ask it... When I realised that my 'man' could not live up to the man I wanted him to be..I thought -fuck it maybe I'll just shag him as sex was awesome. That would have been fine. But what I didn't reckon on, as someone has already mentioned, there is no such thing as 'just sex' with these creatures. They will hook your emotional self right into them and you'll lose sight of the 'I'll just enjoy their body.' There is a whole sea of people that you can have great sex with, without the headache that a N will give you. I tried to just 'do great sex'. With these people, babe, it ain't worth it....Trust. Ask yourself why you can't let go... Take good care of you! xx
quietude's picture

I wouldn't, but that's me. You can't expect anything in return, except sex. But she may try to attach strings, since they can't be trusted. Just a bad idea altogehter, imho.
cynthia's picture

thats what many of us were to them, JUST SEX PARTNERS and looking at what it did to us, I dont think the outcome is too happy. I want to clarify THAT IS WHAT WE WERE TO THEM, not what we were content with having. Personally if i just wanted a sex partner it wouldnt be with a narc/Psychpath it would be with someone where we both had an understanding of no strings attached and someone who wasnt perverted, sick, twisted, looked at me as a whore but as a beautiful sexy attractive woman. If on the other hand someone wants a BAD BOY, one that degrades women have had it.
calamity-g's picture

OK, I'm in pretty bad shape today as anyone can see having read any of my post. I'm responding to this b/c my ex N has just offered me money for sex, asking me to avoid my heart and think of the money. He knows I live on disability and have a disabled son so money is his way to suck me into his perverted sexual world. I have not taken him up on the offer and never will. I have hurt and cried and stayed in bed over it but he doesn't know that and I'm not telling him. That is why I am here today! Even if the sex is good I do not want that with him. I can honestly say that. I want someone who cares about me. That is what hurt the most about his offer. Plus it only shows what an ass he is by tempting me, a widow on a low and fixed income. It hurt to know he could have sex with me without any feelings and that he tried using money. calamity gina

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My Blog

quietude's picture

Calamity: Just another reason to BLOCK his butt from your life. Ignoring him will send a clear message (maybe that all the money in the world would not temp you to have sex with him again...but who knows if he'll get that). Hon, I hate to tell you this, but N's typically have no feelings or intimacy when they're having sex with us regardless...we understand. I'm so sorry....you are above this, friend. ~Hugs~
neveragain's picture

neveragain
justwantpeace's picture

If you are able to be void of all emotions, feelings, and expect nothing from it.
Barbara's picture

cheaper to hire a hooker save your sanity and run like hell ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Monica's picture

Barbara...this is something I have been wondering for some time now. Why don't they just hire a hooker?? The N would get what he needs without the emotions and feelings and needs of the other person, and the worst he is parting with is a few bucks. Why don't they just go out and hire a hooker??? Lord knows mine had enough money to do that. I just don't understand.
Barbara's picture

Psycho-Boy DID hire hookers... many of them - expensive escorts on his lunchhours... and he posted places like Escort Review and The Erotic Review about them (when I blew him into the police they subsequently closed down a $3Million a year brothel in midtown Manhattan - partly because of HIS big mouth. No wonder he's scared shitless of me!) Psycho-Boy also spent hundreds of dollars on phone sex and cybersex chats. That wasn't enough for him. He wanted "discreet affairs" too. He had ads on all sorts of Casual Sex sites. Remember - they KNOW deep down its SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE and ILLEGAL to hire prostitutes... and most of them don't want their images tarnished. They believe their "sweet lies" are "payment" - and they just turn you into a free whore. It's a win win for them. To them it's all a big GAME. Feeding their d**ks and their egos with normal, trusting women. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Monica's picture

Barbara....this makes sense in my case. xN was/is in a position where he could NOT afford to have his image tarnished by chancing encounters with hookers and possibly getting caught. I am guessing that is why he cast his line and reeled me in after I took the bait. He knew I wouldn't be "trouble" for him if he brainwashed/manipulated/controlled me by pushing all the right buttons. Well...now he has to go fishing again, train a new fish and hope she doesn't cause him trouble or turn out to be a pirhanna.
dolce's picture

I dont believe they ultimately want hookers because they want to entrap and manipulate you. That's the real payoff for them. The emotional crap. And they cant get that kind of sick kick with a hooker. Mine was so into mind games and mind control. ~Free to Be~
cynthia's picture

nothing more rewarding to them to take a decent person and trash them there is not much to trash or shame in a hooker, but the hunt, the kill of taking a moral, good person is the ultimate for them!! Oh and yes they have their full share of hookers probably when they dont want to put forth any effort in conning women they just call their local hooker connection for easy, sex where they dont have to pretend to love them and they can talk to her in any way they please without questions
cynthia's picture

i like that answer, hookers have no emotional attachment, its just their job, so that would be perfect for them, and they dont even have to put on a mask they can just take their nasty real selves to the hookers to service them and they will, that is what they are paid for