Question for those of you who have seen or are seeing a therapist

That's what they're there for... these people have been trained and are skilled to listen to people like us go on and on. Unless you decide to beat the life out of your Therapist- which I advise you against- he won't call the cops on you. You may think you're "crazy" but you truely have no idea... there are people out there that are a lot worse! Tell your therapist everything, every little detail, let him listen & analyze. The more you tell, the more he can help you! Trust me!!! You may end up being his favorite- if you tell him everything & he doesn't have to dig or drill you!!! You're paying him to listen!

yes tell him everything...that is what you are going for to get well and get cleansed...tell him things first tho...before putting labels on him...let therapist do that, but if he doesnt ,then you can say about this board to him...i understand narcs are known about , more than in the uk.....good luck.

I had my first therapy session after the Narc mess this past Thursday with the same awesome counselor my son and i saw previous post-abuser mess about 13years ago. While i was filling the counselor in on things, I found that all I had to do was tell my story and all the wonderful personality traits of the Narc --- and the counselor figured it out himself. HE is the one who said this all sounds like I've been dealing with a Narcissistic personality and it's very hard to be in a relationship with these people because.... I did tell him, that's what I've thought, and told him about this board and how helpful it's been. The counselor will more than likely know all by him/her self what you've been dealing with just through your description of the relationship and the abuse you've endured.

A good therapist will not judge you...they are there to support and listen. If you begin to feel judged, run and find a new one. Also, a therapist's office should be a safe place for you to rage. Punch pillows, cuss, cry; whatever...there's nothing wrong with that. Trust your instinct about the therapist. The problem with therapists is that even though they understand NPD and know the DSM-IV criteria, most do not fully understand the impact of N abuse on victims unless they've experienced it first hand and done the research and personal work. Of course, there are rare exceptions. My last therapist told me she had no problem with me seeing the N on occasions and that she believed his only problem was that he's a liar. Her opinion caused me to doubt and question myself and also motivated me to continue contact with the N. She didn't have a clue about covert behavior, sadism, crazy making behavior and the rest of it. The root of my problem is doubting myself and her comments didn't help me at all.

A good therapist won't need you to tell them what you were dealing with......he/she will know by what you tell them. Several of us didn't know what we were dealing with....until a therapist pointed it out. Do not feel fear for looking crazy! You are NOT crazy. The rage you have is a part of the PTSD. The fact that you are seeking therapy, says you are not crazy. You are trying to get help for what has happened to you. That takes strength. If you do find your therapist is making you seem crazy......get out and find a different one! Preferably one that specializes in abuse and PD's. Good luck! xoxo

Hi Sara- Tell your therapist everything. Your therapist will know that he was/is a N. You're therapist will not think anything about you or judge you. Therpists hear all kinds of crazy stuff. I think the issue may be that you are worried you are wrong or that you will be told by your therapist that you're wrong and that your N is not an N. Don't think that way! That is still the Ns hold on you. You ARE NOT WRONG. It's like anyone who finds themself in an AA meeting is probably an alcoholic! Same with this site. If you're a member of this site then yep you've tangled with a Narcissist. There is no question about it unless you're completely delusional which you are not. Don't worry.

No different than going to the OBGYN! Spead them it's all out in the open, they have seen and heard it all! What you will find is a professionals validation is a relief! I Love my shrink days! Youre riding the airplane again! Stop. Hunter

Sara-smile, so glad to hear you are going to see a therapist. It's a good call, always. What you need to focus on is YOU while in your sessions.........don't start out with your diagnoses about your narc. Once you start to discuss YOU and what you have been experiencing, the narc will come in to play. Do not tell him what your thoughts are about him. Answer his questions, discuss the relationship, what has been happening, etc......and your therapist will tell you what he thinks. REMEMBER, these sessions are about YOU, not him.......... Also keep in mind, seeing a therapist takes a good amount of time before he or she can help you. They have to assess you, get a good feeling as to what areas you need help in, what direction to point you in. This DOES NOT happen over night. Good luck, be patient, and you will find the answers you need..........

It was my therapist who diagnosed my ex fiance as a narcissist. I went to her because of anxiety I was developing in the relationship and as his mask came off and I shared the stories of the anger, the rage, the manipulation, and the confusion she told me who and what he was. Of course at first I was in denial and angry at her for labeling the love of my life with such an ugly disorder. I continued to see her anyway, and she encouraged me to run from him. Long story short, she was right. She spent the next year helping me recover from PTSD.

I went through the exact same feelings as you sara-smile ... wondering how I would come across, the shame I felt at letting someone treat me so badly, what if she thought I was the one with the disorder etc etc ... Mm I started at the beginning with how I was feeling and that I couldn't get my head around the things he did not only to me but to my friends and stories he used to tell me about his past and how he'd treat people and animals ... the way he spoke, how I felt in terms of not being able to be myself, his constant negativity ... her response was the she thought he had a personality disorder and that he was a narcissist ... she said to me that the good news was I didn't It's not been easy to come out and tell her everything and there are lots of things that happened that I had trouble remembering or was in too much denial to talk about or felt too ashamed ... but slowly I relaxed and trusted that she wouldn't judge me, if anything she was extremely sympathetic and because I was still in contact with him at that point worried that he would just continue using me ... My suggestion to you would be to start wherever you feel comfortable, start with their behaviour and how it made you feel ... Love and light to you

Open up fully. That's what they are there for. If you are filled with rage, tell him. He will help you. I tell my therapist literally everything.