Public Humiliation

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#1 Jul 20 - 1PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Public Humiliation

There where several times my ns took pleasue in publicly humiliating me . These where times when i felt the most anger at him as i couldnt call him out on it straight away as i hate to have "sceans" in frount of others .
On all accasions we where with his friends and all his friends where men . The humiliation also felt like a sexist attack too .
The first time it happened it was so shocking i was lost for words . We where with a group of his friend and we had just been out for the evening . One of his friends was drunk and on the floor and for some reason he was sticking his tongue out , i was laughing at him and my Ns said in a sadistc tone "why dont you go and sit on it " . and then he had a good laugh with his friends at my expence . I am so ashamed of this story .
There where other times but i think you get the jist .
I did call him out about it when his friends had gone , it was the first time i called him out on anything and guess what happened . ? anyone ? anyone ? He left me for a month .
I am finding it very intresting that the 3 times i have made him face the mirror he has left me . I would have never have made that conection if it wasnt for this site .
Im still a mess but slowly and i mean very slowly the bits are fitting into place .
I seem to be going in waves through the day covering the fact that he is very sick to missing him with all my heart . Strange and not easy .
15 ? or is it 16 days no contact . i loose count .. is that a good thing ?
Peru x

Jul 21 - 9PM
Worndown (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Humiliated at the Dinner Table at Christmas too!

Yes I can relate. One Christmas a couple of years ago, my father and his wife, and my STBXNH's father and step-mother, my brother and his wife and all the kids were at a restaurant at a round table and he starts talking about a sexual encounter we had with no detail left out, everyone was listening. It was like a porno movie pouring out of his mouth. I was shocked and to get the words out fast enough "STOP IT!" seemed to take forever...There were kids at the table and my DAD! What a sick, sick person. He has always had it in for my dad and I think he loves to let him know, hey, I'm doin' your daughter!!! He's done stuff like that before, off color and usually about me, but this time it was full-fledged detail at our Christmas dinner get together with the family including children!!! They have zero respect for anyone, wives, relatives and/or children.
Jul 20 - 11PM
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Public Humiliation

Oh yes, they love this. One time I told my ex (who was a vegetarian) I was thinking of ordering barbecue ribs. He told me not to order ribs because he didn’t like me eating meat. After a ridiculous argument, I told him I was ordering them any way. In response, he lifted his hand and pointed over at the table immediately next to us where a heavy-set young girl in her early teens was eating a meat dinner with her family. Loud enough for everyone, including her, to hear he pointed directly at her and said, “You want to eat meat? Go right ahead! You’ll be as fat as her then. If that’s what you want, then go right ahead . . . be my guest!” I was mortified. I wanted to crawl out of there.
Jul 20 - 8PM
finallydone
finallydone's picture

Very much understand

Public Humiliation - ahhh yes. A favorite pasttime. 1. A friend of his was at his mothers with us one Christmas and we were playing cards and drinking beer. His friend said something playfully funny about beating both of us at cards and I said, "Bite Me". And we laughed. N immediately went cold and said "perhaps I should leave you two alone." 2. On an airplace on the way to Reno for an audition he had, he went off on me in the plane (not totally screaming but certainly very audiblein the confines of an airplane about the fact that I didn't realize he'd left his SCARF on the last plane. His SCARF, yes you heard that correctly. Not mad at himself for losing his little scarf, but mad at me and making a scene.... over a.... scarf. Pathetic isn't it? 3. He's playing at a club outside on the Ohio River one summer and two of my friends drove with me 2 hours to see him play. We walked in while he was in the middle of a song and went to a grassy area to sit down. He apparently tried to wave at us from the piano and we didn't see him. At his break, he walked right up to me and in front of my friends and other spectators said, "What the F is up your Ass!" I was in total shock. Those are just some highlights and it took me a long time to learn that I wasn't going to be able to teach him this was inappropriate and hurtful. And what's worse... it apparently never crossed my naive little mind that there is NO EXCUSE for an adult to ever react this way. It's not NORMAL. Well okay... I'm a slow learner. But i get it now. And yes.... I understand that feeling of "Oh my god he is a sick bastard!" to "How could he have done this and I miss him." It's a twisted roller coaster. I understand.
Jul 20 - 2PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

perutoo

I just posted something to cupcake last night that Narcs LOVE hurting and humiliating you - they GET OFF on it!! How sick is that? http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/2007/07/hurting-you-isnt-something-narcissists.html These may help you continue that GREAT no contact record you have started and to understand why you still miss him: http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/03/16/sex-narcissists-and-it-just-sex#comment-6506 http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/07/20/so-youre-love-narcissist http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/03/20/cognitive-dissonance-obsessional-thoughts http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/03/28/should-i-react-way I hope you're in therapy and getting help. Hang in there you're doing GREAT ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Articles & information for abuse victims - Updated Daily Online Coaching for Victims of Narcissists/ Psychopaths