About the freaked out.... not saying that he really was freaked out. Just saying that that's what he told me at the time. I can now see that much of this was really lies.
Love the mental picture of the slimy hands rubbing together!
Thanks for your concern....don't know if you saw my other post....scary issue with health late last week. In all likelihood I will need to get a lemon sized tumor removed from my breast. So, no, on Friday I canceled to go to medical doctors instead. But so I didn't completely flake out, I placed a call to my old therapist (who lives across country), because I do need therapy and we can pick up very quickly. But I promise you that I will reschedule with the one here once I know what my dates are for my medical issue next week.
And I do appreciate your pushing me on this issue. It is necessary....
Well you sure can't deny the coincidence of the timing of the divorce (ALTHOUGH it IS possible that you heard something somewhere that clued you in to that possibility and didn't remember it...)but I wouldn't take it with a grain of salt, I'd take it with a BLOCK of salt, if he said, oh, I was thinking about you too. That means nothing if you said it first. That's no coincidence, that's controlling.
I don't know why you keep saying your N is so direct and clear professionally when you have also said he lies and deceives and betrays people and fakes sincerity with others. How is that direct and clear?
He lies clearly?
he knows what to do and he does it and he is very clear about what he is doing and why. He is very logical. He never questions the right path to take and once he takes a path, he never second guesses himself that he may have not made the right decision. He communicates very clearly about what needs to be done; there is no ambiguity.
But yes, he does fake sincerity... he acts like everyone is his close, respected friend to their face and does trash them to me. Very 2 faced.
And he does play people against eachother, sometimes making up "facts" to get the desired result. Having people bid up against eachother when the other bidding party if not really there (shoring up the bid). Very similar to how he used my feeling for him to win the adoration of other female admirers and make them become more obsessed with him. Very, very similar.
:) Yes, I guess that means he lies very clearly and very sincerely. hahahaha....
I need a drink! Thanks for the laugh...needed it!
it's not as much a Psychic "connection" as a mind control connection they establish with us.
I had one with Psycho-Boy. Once I broke contact for a long period of time I realized it wasn't psychic at all... it was deep, profound brainwashing and my trying to justify it as "something special" between us. It never was.
~~~~~~~~~
Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals
Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
Mine had a dandy little brainwashing trick... I hate to post it here because I know N/Ps read here and I hate giving them any new ideas, but just in case someone else got this line...
He's an athlete, so he told me that his resting heart rate is 60 beats per minute, just like the ticking of a clock, so when I hear a clock ticking, he told me I can imagine him with me, his heart beating with mine, and him watching over me.
Yep.
my Narc#1 had a similar 'trick'
when I was in my sophomore year of college he sent me a datebook from where he was at school. So every single day, even though I was dating someone else - I had to think of him.
he probably got a gross of them at a discount considering the harem he's had for over 30 years now; of which I am NOT a part.
this piece of sh** got me pregnant and refused to return my calls or even see when a dear friend drove me all the way there to confront him. To this day I don't even know if he knows or believes he got me pregnant. He certainly doesn't care.
But every day after it all I cried, in my room. That datebook finally went in the trash... after a long long time.
~~~~~~~~~
Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals
Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
ewwwww...i feel all creepy crawly. Of course when you first heard this it probably sounded so beautiful like you were SOULMATES!
Have you been able to figure out how many other women heard this same line and also felt like soulmates?
OMG, yes, THAT is what makes me feel creepy crawly, that I BOUGHT this shit. And he definitely played the angle that we were "connected" even over a long distance. And I HAVE woken up and found him online emailing me. But I still think my brain knew it could get its drug at certain times and it wasn't as "psychic" as it felt. I am extremely intuitive however, and it kind of borders on psychic, I can really feel and know things about people. I think certain people, empaths as they are often called here, are capable of a deep psychic fusion with another person, but again that is partly because of trance states and so on. That other story I told was when I realized I could BLOCK it too, and reclaim my precious mind.
I don't know how many heard the same lines, but I'm damned sure not the first one he'd said that to. Remembering back to it I think it was a very practiced line. I only have intuition about two women, and I know I'm right, but it would be hard to prove. The other one I know for sure, and all I can say is that must be the tip of the iceberg.
Ha, I remember him telling me some story about a friend he'd had when living in another city, their daughters were friends, and he'd mentioned her a couple of times in stories... nothing out of the ordinary, and then he said, out of the blue, and almost under his breath, "I didn't have an affair with her or anything..." And I thought, OMG. You did so! I wasn't even thinking anything of the kind, and he just blurted that out completely out of context.
I'd like to knock him out and tattoo I'm Your Soulmate on his forehead so he has that written on him everywhere he goes...it would save him time.
Great idea! That would save lots of time luring women and trying to figure out just where their vulnerabilities are so that they can squeeze into those little cracks and make them feel whole and loved. Only to pull out of those cracks when they are bored and leave the now-obsessed woman feeling shattered.
And it's brainwashing of the worst kind... taking advantage of people's generosity, the need to love and be loved, and playing with people's dreams. You think it's special... and you're merely an object, not even a person.
It's no wonder my friends thought that my ex-N had me "under his spell."
have you read the three posts in the MY BLOG section entitled "AM I UNDER HIS SPELL?"
~~~~~~~~~
Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals
Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
For someone who was deemed a droning bore by my friends,my ex-N had me "trained." Then it turned out I had those bothersome things like free will, feelings&ideas of my own,etc.
He mainly used his dark, vacant eyes, and that reptilian gaze. He also used repetition. One of his favorite things was telling students to "read without emotion." As a friend of mine said,"He's punishing you for being human."
My friends noticed how I became drained of cheerfulness and smiles when I was in his presence... an emotional vampire... they preferred the REAL ME when he wasn't around.
Barbara
Well you sure can't deny the
good question about clarity
mind control
Mine had a dandy little
their tricks
ewwwww
OMG, yes, THAT is what makes
Tatoo
More psychotic than psychic
Susan32
Sounds like what I lived through
Susan32
Yes, I DEFINITELY read those posts! and more than once
Susan32