Primary and Secondary Supply Defined

It would seem there is some confusion about the definition and difference between primary and secondary supply to a narcissist.

Lisa wrote a blog post that explains each type very well, this is an excerpt:

"According to Sam Vaknin (Author of "Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited") there are two types of Narcissistic Supply — Primary and Secondary. Primary Narcissistic Supply is the day-to-day changing attention one receives from various different people they encounter throughout their day. When one does not receive enough Primary NS from strangers or others to fulfill their desires, they turn to what is called Secondary NS.

Secondary Narcissistic Supply is strictly for backup purposes. Secondary NS is obtained from the Narcissist's significant other. The significant other is a constant presence in their life. Therefore, they are always available and accessible to them, should they encounter deficient Primary NS at some point during the day.

Narcissists need to ensure they have a constant and reliable source of NS at all times. The best way they have found of doing this is to have a significant other in their lives. They do not love this person, nor do they wish to be with this person most of the time. However, because it is impossible to control how much attention or Primary NS they will receive from the outside world on a daily basis, they must make certain they have a backup form of it that is always available to them.

It is for this reason a Narcissist seeks to find a significant other. They prefer Primary NS because it is ever-changing and dynamic, but when unavailable, they will resort to Secondary NS ... a.k.a. their significant other."

Read the whole blog entry:
http://www.lisaescott.com/2011/02/27/why-narcissists-seek-out-relationships