A powerful post I want to share with you

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#1 Mar 13 - 4PM

neverlookback

A powerful post I want to share with you

Before I post it I want to first post the blog it came from
http://masksofsanity.blogspot.com/2009/06/who-am-i.html

I am your neighbor, your brother, your sister your father your mother and child. I am your therapist, your architect your school teacher and friend. I am your husband your lover a student and politician. I come from all walks of life and manipulation is my game. I am the master of mind games and like any champion I know and study my opponents well.

I am good looking, successful and charming. I disregard all consequences of my actions. I live on the edge and deny myself nothing. I can sweep you off your feet, wine and dine you and promise you the earth even though I will never deliver, this is the bait, the hook with which to reel you in, they are but empty promises. I am shallow and callous, cruel and hostile with a deep seated rage everything and everyone around me are potential targets and opportunities.

I am toxic, a disease a plague on your life that will sweep through like a violent hurricane destroying all that lat at your feet. I demand obedience, believe in my greatness and complete subjugation to all my whims needs and attention. I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, no matter what I will have my own way. I take what I want when I want it. I am hostile and domineering, I humiliate my victims they are an instrument to be used and abused. I have no morals, no values I am here to be pleased not to please. I am unmoved and cold by tales of grief. I am neither genuine or sincere but I can cray and act as any great actor in hollywood. In my book the end always justifies the means.

You are a purchase, an object a product a toy. You will always need me, you will never survive without me. I am your rock, your protector your punisher and your lover. I will tell you whatever you want to hear as long as you carry on doing what I want.

I can not change, I can not reform, I can not feel pity or remorse. I have no conscience, no empathy, not even a morsel of compassion for you. I am completely amoral. I am a hypocrite what I say and what I do are two very different things. I know how to do everything better. I know the answer to all of the world's biggest problems. My public image is everything to me, how I am perceived by others is extremely important. I am admirable, gentle, kind, loving humble and successful.

I am unable and unwilling to behave any differently. I am judgmental, slanderous, fickle and critical. I am haughty, arrogant and envious. I am seductive, repulsive an addict. I can not and will not be judged. If you do not produce and live up to my expectations I shall bore of you, I will dispose of you in any way that is of greatest benefit and pleasure to me. I can not if you can not produce due to my punishments or if you are too old to comply, sick or infirm all that matters to me is replacing you with a newer more cooperative model that will meet my needs.

You can not escape me. I will be the thorn in your side, the pebble in your shoe, I will forever consider you to be the person who failed me who abandoned my needs. Even years after I leave you I will still watch you, harass you, tell lies about you and name and shame you. You are my unfinished business that I intend to collect upon. I am the alpha and omega, everything begins and ends with me.

I may look human I have all the characteristics of one, my skin, hair, blood and all that defines me as a human is just a disguise. That is my mask of sanity. So WHO AM I?
....come closer and I will tell you.

I am the wolf in sheep's clothing and you my dear are the prey.

#2 Mar 14 - 5AM

mystwoman

This is a really powerful

This is a really powerful article. Thank you so much for posting it!

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

#3 Mar 14 - 5AM

Goldie

Sounds about right

Thanks for posting. Powerful stuff! We need to remember all of this when they are hoovering or putting on their "little boy acts." Goldie

#4 Mar 13 - 5PM

Steph

chilling

I first read this about a year ago when I first started learning about these people. It still gives me the chills.

#5 Mar 13 - 5PM

OnlyChild49 (not verified)

So Tempted!!

Wow, that's a great article. I can barely contain myself from copy and pasting it to a certain gal on FB who really needs to know. I know - no good deed goes unpunished!! But, it is tempting!! Because at 68, do you know how long it will take for her to get over him?? My theory is when one is older, it is more difficult to be resilient. Hmmmmm, we'll see!! And I'm gonna save the article for myself also - for weak moments!!

#6 Mar 13 - 5PM

Jewwell

I'll admit it - I am vulnerable

"I can sniff the vulnerable a mile away." I'll admit it, I was and still am very vulnerable. But how did he "sniff this out" about me when I try so hard to look like I have it all together??? All of my friends (some 20+ years) would describe me as having it all together. I have 3 GREAT kids, married 27 years ... I never even return a library book late. Who would guess that an N hasn't left my brain for almost 2 years! What has this man done to me??? On a "good day" his voice can lift me to a place that I crave and can only get to with him. On a bad day, he can suck me into a hole of despair that I have never experienced in my 50+ years. I

#7 Mar 13 - 5PM

gettinbetter

"you are my unfinished

"you are my unfinished business that I intend to collect upon" So so so true in my case. I have always felt that he was and still is so pissed off that I went on to have a very normal life. I think it displeased him beyond belief that I have been married for 15 years. Nothing would have made him happier than to find out that I had burned thru a couple of marriages. The normalcy of my life pissed him off. I still say to this day that he is raging at me in that he wont speak to me. Silence is always about anger. If he werent so angry he would have said hey listen sick of it Im seeing someone and its not you. No the silence is about something and honestly it kind of scares me eventhough its been 5 months. That silence is about rage and that kind of rage doesnt just disopate. I sometimes feel frightened about how its gonna surface.

#8 Mar 13 - 5PM (Reply to #7)

neverlookback

I totally know where you are coming from

Their silence back to us after NC is their RAGE and ANGER, and I sometimes get scared too knowing how much I Truly pissed him off by cutting him off. You bet I am unfinished business but he is helpless to collect upon it. I am the one that got away, the stray dog that just could not be trained to do what he wanted me to do and I dont even want to know how much rage he feels towards me but I know its deep, very deep. I worry that one day even a year from now he will some how find a way to contact me and he will present himself as being so very sorry in how it ended and how he treated me, if I were ever to fall for it and be alone with him he would punish me so bad - its payback time for him and he is the type that will take a year to plan it out, that is how calculating this man was. I stay far away and I dont even THINK about contacting him out of FEAR mostly, a very dangerous man

#9 Mar 13 - 5PM (Reply to #9)

gettinbetter

Oh I didnt go NC on him he

Oh I didnt go NC on him he went NC on me after I got pissed about him not answering me for days sometimes. On top of that I sent him an email basically spelling out that he was a Narc but didnt use the word so he knows Im on to him. On top of that, someone hacked into his email and sent me some spam like it was for him and it was pitching an herbal supplement for get this E.D.!!!!!!! Can you believe??? Im sure that embarassed him to no end as it was addressed to many of his friends so Im sure someone told him about it. I pretty sure he got his email hacked into from visiting that site. I mean that is too much of a coincidence. I have sent him countless text messages over the last five months and nothing. Well the nothing is about something you can be sure as he never blocked me. That in and of itself says something. I dont contact him anymore but when it settles in that Im gone Im a little worried as I have given him huge amounts of supply just from my raging texts. When he starts to suffer withdrawl from that thats what I worry about. But... maybe he's just gone and done. For my own safety I hope so. I should have never sent him all of those texts that were raging and emotionally laden but I did because I was crazy with rage. I hope it doesnt come back to bite me in the ass

#10 Mar 14 - 12PM (Reply to #10)

neverlookback

I always wanted to

send him one of the articles I have posted to his PO BOX especially that one my counselor gave me that I posted awhile back, I wouldnt sign it and I am sure he would know it was from me, which is fine. I wont do it for a number of reasons. I am sure I wasnt the first woman to tell him he was a psychopath and I wont be the last. I think my silence will bother him more than anything else I could possible do or say. TOTAL COMPLETE SILENCE ON MY PART. He will never know how I feel, if I am hurt, mad, if I left because the pain was too much to tolerate with him, or if I left because he was a psychopath and I figured him out. Psychopaths like to always be two steps ahead of their victims, ALWAYS they count on their victims trusting in them and confiding in them and opening up to them this is how they can give us the proper bait they know we want. HE DOES NOT CARE if I was hurt, if my world was shattered, he CARES NOTHING about anybodys tales of woe, he DOES NOT CARE if I am furious and angry, only HIS rage matters. He may care some that I discovered he was a psychopath and disordered because that could be a threat to the pillar of society he is as a sheriff but then again his word against mine and after all I was just a crazy bitch that couldnt accept he didnt love me. That is how they will turn everything around to make them look so innocent. I KNOW his tricks and how he thinks, he played every trick in the book on me for 4 years. My only saving grace and weapon of my choice is MY SILENCE, even though IT KILLS me that I have no closure and NOTHING I would say to him would matter, I know my SILENCE will eat at him for the rest of his days. He will get no sobbing letter from me telling him how he destroyed my life for four years, HE KNOWS he destroyed my life for four years I dont have to tell him that, but he DOES NOT CARE, hell he TRIED to destroy my life that was his goal from day one. I go CRAZY sometimes with RAGE and what this man did to me but you know what, he didnt get away with anything NOBODY DOES, Life has a way of giving us back the wrong we have done in our lives. Yours never responds because he DOES NOT CARE what he did to you, but if he is a true psychopath he probably enjoyed reading your rage and what he did to your life. They are sick sick people. I wont feed mine further sick supply. I cast him aside as if he was NOTHING because he is a NOTHING and I hope I made him feel that way in my silence. I would rather swallow the pain with no closure then to break my silence and feed this sick man further.

#11 Mar 13 - 5PM (Reply to #8)

Susan32

Unfinished business

Same here... I haven't heard from the ex-Psych prof in 11 years, and in some ways, it frightens me. He's the reason why I don't go to college reunions. I'm afraid that if I ran into him alone... I would be his prey. He'd quote "War and Peace" saying that he "solved problems with his fists",in my freshman year he spoke of "hunting me down" and fantasizing about me dropping dead. I know I pissed him off by leaving without saying goodbye... without warning... that I simply disappeared. I was so afraid that he'd contact me that I dealt some Narc injuries (I know that comparing him to children&mocking him were what "hurt' his feelings-so I did exactly that) so he wouldn't contact me. I wanted to be the one playing games with his head&driving him nuts... instead of me. I was that scared. I would rather he think of me like the stray dog he couldn't tame but could also leave him stuck in the wilderness mauled&with rabies, so to speak.

#12 Mar 13 - 4PM

Hunter

NLB

Thank You! Sounds about right!

#13 Mar 13 - 4PM

sara-smile

Neverlookback

Holy crap! That gave me chills. I could see my Narc's face while I was reading it and can hear his voice saying the words. Thank you for this post! Sara

#14 Mar 13 - 4PM

michele115 (not verified)

And yes, all of this is true; however,

Thanks to this site, Lisa E. Scott and all the wonderful people here... This masked character is now officially the "kiss on my behind" touche. thank you for sharing!!! And I hope that real soon each and every one of you can boast the same! In fact, it is a nightly prayer for all of you... Warm supportive hugs!

#15 Mar 13 - 4PM (Reply to #2)

neverlookback

Just imagine

years ago what the poor victims would have done, they did not have sites like this to help them. We are very lucky how much the research on this disorder has progressed and that we have this great site of Lisa's to help us reach out to each other. If I recall years ago it was called simply sociopath, now it seems narcissism and psychopath almost go hand in hand. I think you are a bit further along that I am but at least the bastard is out of my life and that is the first and most important step to recovery. I know I am on this site ALOT but you know what? IT STOPS ME FROM ANY THOUGHTS OF CONTACT and I will do whatever I have to do to stay in that frame of mind. hugs back to you too x0

#16 Mar 13 - 6PM (Reply to #3)

OnlyChild49 (not verified)

Thoughts of Contact!!

Yes, I know what you mean. Reading the posts keeps me occupied so I will stay strong with NC. It also validates that he is what he is - because I start to doubt it. When I went from daily emailing to monthly back in December 2010, I had to steel myself as I wanted to run to the computer and "talk" to him. I've not experienced addiction in the past, but that's what it was and I knew it even tho I couldn't prove it. In January, he stopped all contact.

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