I discovered this forum some years ago after a brief fling with a narcissist I'd crushed on for years turned sour. It took years to overcome that heartache, and this forum and Goldie really helped.
Now I am discovering that I am surrounded by selfish people - including this friend I've known for 32 years.
We have the same birthday, and started school together aged 6. She was a deeply troubled kid, seeing a shrink at 8, with multiple disabilities. She would take out her frustration and rage on me by punching me, and verbal abuse. It was love/hate, friends/enemies for our whole childhood.
At 13 this suddenly changed and we became friends. She's had a pattern of intense neediness/alienation from a number of key mother figures throughout her life, and has come into constant conflict with just about every friend and family member she's ever had. When she has depressive episodes, she wants the whole world to stop and accommodate her. But if you don't jump whenever she asks, she will turn on you. Her family and some friends have confronted her with her selfishness, and she has just cut them off.
This latest argument with her has arisen over some sodding Ikea furniture. She came around last night (unannounced), demanded coffee, watched me eat my tea, and sat on my sofa for over 3 hours, because I was too polite to tell her to go home. Even though I clearly told her I could not fix her furniture immediately, and I had studying to do. We made a time for the next day.
So I turned up, where I found the furniture strewn around the floor, screws everywhere, and half the instructions missing. I'm finding it hard to solve problems as it because I am in a depressive episode and can't think straight. I told her straight up I couldn't fix her cabinet, that I couldn't make sense of it.
She hissed "For Fuck's Sake" under her breath, so I made a hasty exit. She then bitched about me on Facebook passive aggressively, knowing full well I would see it. I told her I had clinical depression, and that if the friendship was all about her, she could leave me alone. She then proceeded to tell me that she didn't know (when I'd talked about it on Facebook, and to her face), that I had been rude to her, that she deserved notification of my mental state! All in public. No remorse or consideration at all.
I shouldn't be shocked, this isn't the first time she's pulled a bitch move on me, or anyone else. I'm really sad that a 32 year friendship could end over some shitty plywood. But I think this is a one sided friendship and always has been. Anytime I've been down, I knew I couldn't talk to her - she'd just turn it back to her and her troubles.
Do you think I've been dealing with a female narcissist here? Borderline? What gives?