The P/N’s extravaganza of gift giving
The P/N’s extravaganza of gift giving
Thinking back, my ex only really gave me gifts at Christmas and I feel only then because there would be an audience who would ooh and ahh about what he had given. My birthdays were a whole different ballgame – there wouldn’t normally be an audience so basically my birthdays didn’t feature on his radar. And boy, did he highlight that fact. Just a few examples, there are too many to remember.
Cards were never posted even if we didn’t see each other on the day. So consequently were invariably late – where’s the point in that? Gifts were either inappropriate or again, late in coming – even months later and generally whilst we were out shopping when he would notice that I liked something so would offer to pay for whatever by way of my missing present. No special plans were ever made and if I suggested anything he again, would unusually not be available on the day or arrive so late, that the day/evening was spoilt.
He bought me a spa day once just for me – no companion or god forbid, that he would come with me. So I was supposed to be over the moon at spending a whole day at the spa by myself. Hell, I spent enough time by myself in the relationship, I didn’t want more alone time imposed on me and expect to be grateful.
Another time he bought me a day out at the races (date was a month after my birthday) – admittedly this time a guest was included. He couldn’t come though, as he was attending his friend’s wedding and I obviously wasn’t invited. The venue was 90 minutes drive away and so meant that I couldn’t even have a drink to celebrate my birthday as I would be driving. Didn’t feel that I could invite a guest and expect them to drive as they couldn’t have a drink either. Had only gone to these kind of events as a huge party in the past where we were all transported in a mini bus so everybody could enjoy. I gave him the tickets back and it then transpired that he invited me to the wedding on the actual day itself because other guests had dropped out and he wanted me to attend. I now suspect that his original guest had backed out and he didn’t really want to go alone. I took great joy in telling him that I was unavailable.
One Christmas he bought me a Wii Fitness set without the board so what good was that? I had to buy the board myself. I was supposed to be overjoyed for an incomplete present that I couldn’t use until I bought the board. I think we only played games on the system once together.
A couple of years ago on my birthday, which was a Sunday, after him going through his cancer treatment and I had been there for him at every stage and supported him throughout it all – which obviously he was so grateful for : NOT!! He repaid me by booking his annual football referee physical test which took him away the whole day, he could have done the same test a month later – wouldn’t have made any difference to the outcome. But no, I wasn’t special enough.
Another time, again we hadn’t seen each other on the day but a week later we met up and he gave me some earrings. He told me that he had bought them ages before my birthday but the authentication certificate included in the box told me that he had actually bought them on the date he had given them to me.
NOW, on his birthdays we had to have the whole shebang. Special outing organised, chauffeur driven by me, meal, cake and gifts galore. Otherwise he felt hard done by and would say so too. And of course, his mother always had to be included. Grr...
This man earned 4 times the amount I did but was essentially an incredibly very mean both with his time and money. And he had no other responsibilities but to himself, unlike me – I have a son who I was putting through university so money was tight.
I didn't, and don't feel sorry for myself, it's just that when I remember one thing then everything else comes tumbling out too.
Would be really interested in your experiences with your exP/N examples of gift giving please.
Dee x
Gifts. Yes
Hey Hermes are u intending to
Absolutely Sea
Here's my "bounty" of gifts,
Hi CT
It took a while for narc to
Totally lame gifts
Or better still, Je Suis
They are lousy gift givers...
Hi Light
Dee these are
Sumiko
Dee, it might seems strange
i never got anything
Aceonelady
I am speechless
Uk Lady
Aceonelady
Hindsight in a wonderful thing
Ironically, the best gift
"Happy unmarriage!"
I'd have to agree with you,
As you say Ruby
For my birthday, he gave me a
Wow Really
Mine got me
Hi Nomoredenial