please someone tell me what you think

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#1 Oct 3 - 4PM
jaycee
jaycee's picture

please someone tell me what you think

i posted yesterday about the cruel hope and fake love texts from my hN, found out today, or am supposed to believe they were fighting, so of course he needed to turn to me, as always, for over twenty years when anything ever goes wrong he turns to me, his sucker.....well, to explain he is a football fanatic, he calls Sundays during fb season his holy day. he came by this morn, a little distant but still looking for supply, but could tell things must have been better over there this morn. its all in his attitude and desperation, as far as i can tell. well, i havent received a text since this morn after he left, was wondering, is it because hes in happyland again with her, or is it all about him, his cooking, eating, watching his football, not wanting to be bothered, so as he can catnap during the games, or has he had a total turn around with her today, so no need to text me his pity, cruel texts of false love and cruel hope? or is it because he is a narc, and today, as everyday, especially today, his holy day of football, the reason? what is any of your takes on this one? someone please tell me what you think.......all about him or happyland again?

Oct 3 - 6PM
ACgirl
ACgirl's picture

He's a Narc. He's a nut. Narcs r nuts. The new "Pee-nut" candy

Not sure I can be of any help, but.... he's a narc, and that is what a narc is. You can't explain it or reason with it. You can't even begin to see or "feel" what is going on in their heads. My narc would send me text msgs about love and missing me, etc, but wouldn't make a date with me. It's supply, isn't being selfish, it's being nuts, it's being all about them and not you. You shouldn't beat your self up trying to figure it out cuz who the heck knows? They change from second to second. From my viewpoint it doesn't mean things are happyland there, or not. My narc could have had a GREAT day with the OW and still want to be with me. He could have had lousy days, and was with me. It didn't matter. Why? Cuz they are narcs. Please don't try to figure figure it. They are nuts. They are narcs. You need to be stronger, just like the rest of us are trying. Believe me, I still struggle. I like you, try in vain to understand, but you can't make sense of crazy. It's just crazy. xoxo ACgirl
Oct 3 - 4PM
jaycee
jaycee's picture

just looking for an answer from someone who has more wisdom

regardless of what ive been doing, which is alot more than i have in the past, i really want to know, what someone's take on this is, it is something that happens to be bothering me and i want to know what someone on this board thinks of the scenario, happyland or narcland? thats all.....will someone please, with more experience than me, tell me what you think? its one of those days that certain things bother me and would like to know someone else's take on it, simple, is it happyland in your opinion or narcland in your opinion...

Jaycee

Oct 3 - 7PM (Reply to #7)
iAmMINE
iAmMINE's picture

sorry....

it's nark, total nark, complete nark... u done yet???? hug yourself and close the door on this nark, k? ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

Oct 4 - 6AM (Reply to #8)
jaycee
jaycee's picture

sorry.........

i take it, in your opinion, it has nothing to do with happyland, just narcland........am i done with what??????????

Jaycee

Oct 3 - 4PM
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

Jaycee, darlin

it doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter. What matters is *your* life, and from what I can see you're doing little more than living in his right now. How do *you* feel (not about him, but just inside you)? What are you doing today for Jaycee? Please share something that is focused on you, not on him, or what he's done, or what the OW is doing or feeling. This is your life Jaycee, not his. I want to know what you're doing to get to your own peace and healing, even if it's just a micro-step! xoxo
Oct 3 - 4PM
jaycee
jaycee's picture

please someone please tell me what you think i need ur wisdom

this is driving me crazy, i need to know im either on the money, my heart says hes in happyland with her again, but my intellect says, its all about him, its his holy day of football, has no time for anyone but himself. someone please i need your wisdom and knowledge please tell me what your take on it is, i know its a stupid, useless thought, but just feel i need to hear from others.........

Jaycee

Oct 3 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Jaycee,

I don't know if it's about him and the OW or football. But do you see what wholeagain was saying? It shouldn't matter. You should be concentrating on you. You should not be caring whether or not he is happy with her or not. I know you want his world to blow up. Hell, I still look on the news every day to see if mine died in a fiery car crash. I also know he has someone else, and is marrying her. In 5-1/2 years he never asked me to marry him! But I just push any thoughts of them aside and try to not think about whether or not he is happier with her than he was with me. He may think he is happier now, but I know he is not really, and I am 100% sure she will not be happy for long. Is he happy with her? Is she a better fit for him? I don't know. What I do know is we were bad together. I don't know if I was bad for him, but I KNOW he was bad for me. Please, try not to figure out if he is happy with her, or why he is being nice then not. Ask yourself honestly: Do you want him to come back?
Oct 3 - 5PM (Reply to #3)
jaycee
jaycee's picture

ms v

first, congrats on your new position here. I understand what you are saying, but all i am asking is, is it all about him, or is it because its happyland there again. thats all, those of you who are veterans, know these answers much better than i. sometimes things like this eat away at me, and just to hear someone elses take on it, is a welcome relief. it may not matter to anyone here, but to me at the moment, it matters, i know him pretty well, but in these circumstances, this would be best answered by a veteran, someone whos been versed in narcissism for much longer than i. After twenty four years of giving this man my entire life, there are certain things i know, and certain things i am unsure of at the moment, since narcissism had never been a subject i knew of. now that i know hes a narc, its not easy to decipher what is all about him and what is all about how he feels at the moment. so please what is your take.

Jaycee

Oct 3 - 6PM (Reply to #4)
Janet
Janet's picture

We can't know anymore. He

We can't know anymore. He is sick and always will be. He might be having a great weekend or a lousy weekend. Might be lousy and pretend it's great. Peace. J

Peace. J