Please read if you're tempted to go back

Great article! I have come to that realization this weekend.

Thankyou! Wow everything i read in there desribes what i went through. This is exactly what i needed to see.

This is such a good article and so true. At the end of the first year with my exN I began finding some clarity and was making ready to give up the romance. I let him know this by my actions and attitude (though hadn't officially ended things). Within a couple days of me taking steps to get away from him he hoovered big time. The second honeymoon phase was even better than the first. Everything I wanted since the first honeymoon ended and he began pulling away, was returned twofold. He said all the sweet things quoted in the article, I mistook his sudden renewed interest in being in the relationship, as him finally realizing he DID want to be with me. Not too hard to believe since even after saying he needed to take a step back 2 months earlier he still wanted to see me almost every day (of course it was really about getting supply and what I could do for him professionally and creatively) I wish I knew then he was a narc psychopath, I wish I didn't go through what happened after he moved in with me. I so wanted to believe the honey moon was real, it sure felt like it. But in reality what followed was nothing short of almost complete destruction of my health, my emotional/mental state and my finances during the time it took to recover. Two years since he discarded me (which happened 10 months after he began that second honeymoon phase, 8 months after moving in), and I am only now feeling like my life is getting back on track after all the financial loss and physical/emotional struggles I've needed to repair. Don't go back! The second round is worse than the first and each successive round destroys YOU even more than the time before. NOBODY is worth that, no matter how appealing the hoover... Journey on!

This is a really good site. Hunter

I do think they miss their favorite "things" when it is convenient and they are around - but they quickly tire of their old favorite toys after they revisit and go for new supply. I am detoxing from the visit a year later...and silent treatment, again and again and again.

Thanks, I book marked this. This spoke volumes to me, Choosing married or otherwise “taken” victims adds a third dimension to their sadistic pleasure. When they seduce a married woman, they are not only conquering that person’s heart but also “taking her” from another man. To psychopaths this represents a double conquest and therefore also a double defeat of their victims: both of the person they dupe into loving them and of the person they both cheat on. The thrill of seducing married individuals, to manipulate and hurt not only a given target, but also her significant other and family, often proves irresistible to psychopaths, fueling their false sense of superiority, power and invincibility.

5) Last but certainly not least, the psychopath is getting back together with you to punish and destroy you. This is the only reason he would have for trying to get back together with me. And that's why I will never do it!

Wow, this was an amazing article. I felt it was written for me. It's so amazing how systematic these narcs are. They are all the same. I had to read it several times. Perhaps I will read it every day for a while. The more I read stuff like this the easier it is to heal because the temptation to go back is far less. Don't be fooled ever again by a narc. I went back several times, even though I was warned to not do so, and the exact thing described in this article happened to me. Exactly. I get angry at myself for wasting my time with the narc. I need to find a way to let go of my own anger. I shouldn't have been so stupid. Thank you so much for posting this!! xoxo ACgirl

One of the best that I have read. Please a must read for all members. So perfectly describes the reconciliation phase with a psychopath. Gave me chills and was EXACTLY how it went down for me when I let him back. Thanks for sharing, excellent, outstanding!!! God bless, Goldie