Please help me to see my issues!

This sounds so trivial but I know the root of my problem is not. My neighbor(I'll call him Mike) rented a professional roller and rolled our lawns. I knew the XN would be his assistant and stressed about it all day. Would he take off when they did my house?, stick around and ignore me?, maybe acknowledge me?, etc. So I was the last one and he came over briefly but hid behind my garage then bolted when I walked back there. (Even when he was telling me he loved me he pretened to all the neighbors that we had "no communication" because he wanted to show "distance" between us.) He stayed at his house until mine was done. XN and Mike were hooking the roller back up on the trailer and I purposely went over to pay Mike and I gave him alot of compliments on what a great job he did, etc. Yes it was to hopefully dig XN AND to show just what a happy person I am. I didnt break NC...was tempted to say something sarcastic but didnt. I feel like crap. I feel left out and rejected. I know he has told neighbors LOTS of lies about me to take their focus off our past affair. I feel like I've come so far the six months I've been here and its been over 4 months NC which I initiated. Since the weather warmed up hes outside more and its become more of a challenge. That has caused me to dig deeper. Based on how I think/feel it appears my issues are self-esteem, rejection and validation. Am I missing something? Why am I crying over this idiot that I do not want?! I will no longer accept crumbs from anyone. I dont want to start up contact again as I know it will equal pain and confusion. Do I just need to work harder?? I guess what saddens me is my reaction over someone who lies, cheats, manipulates, etc. Maybe I need a mod or a member to yell at me. I truly dont know. Thanks!