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Pick a Narc..1 Narc mother, 2 Bigger Narc!

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#1 Sep 21 - 9AM
greengirl91's picture

Pick a Narc..1 Narc mother, 2 Bigger Narc!

My Mother is a raging Narcisist, and possible many other PDs. But you see, when you put a raging Narc, besides a even Bigger Narc, the first N, turns into a Codependent! Or in a people pleaser!

I have received nothing but insults, crises and ugly words, and sometimes physical abuse from my mother, during our living together. Long and boring story, but since I educated myself into Narcisism and all the stuff, I realy TRIED to look at my mother as a sick person and nothing more.

In the book "Daughters of Narcisistic Mothers", the author says very truthfully and kindly, that asking and seeking from your N mother REAL love, is like asking a colorblind person, for a rainbow! And it`s true, so true.

That my mother is N is crystal clear to me. But she`s not the reason I`m posting in this forum today.

Yesterday, my family had an "out of the blue" visit, from a foreign Aunt. Slaming and harsh beatings in the doors, and then she came and installed herself on our couch, and started DEMANDING stuff, ATTENTION, and other wishes!

My mother had a lot to work. My father had his own stuff as well. Of course, self absorbed parents like mine, are little children compared to this Aunt!! I was in the next room, and I was getting angry only hearing her demands and wishes!

Even though as I said, I`m not a fan of my mother, or the way she treated me, but seeing someone like that, coming into your own house, and behaving like she OWNS everyone, I was like a raging volcano, lol.

Of course, when I tried to make an argument with my mother, and ask her why doesn`t she stand up for herself, why does she let this person treat her like s*it, in her own house?! She called me SELFISH.

Yeah, selfish for caring for her self esteem.

But anyway. It`s just an example that even a monster Narc like my mother, can be overcomed, by even a Bigger Queen of Narcisism.

You need a lot of nerve to come into someone`s home, without even announcing, and then behaving like you OWN everyone! And then she was the one getting UPSET, for her wishes not being aquired in enough time!!

God Almighty, that`s not my house, but if it was, that person would have gone out with broken ribs and bones.

My mother did treated me like shit all my life, but even so, I can`t stand people treating other people like s*it, in front of me.

I can`t stand arseholes anymore, I don`t care if they are family or not.

And of course, I haven`t received nothing but ugly words from mother, for my "intervention" in her "amazing" relationship with that person. But you know something? For all the shitty treatment that she applied to me, I guess I might as well let her "enjoy" a taste of her own medicine.

I had good intentions, but you gotta have with who to talk them to.

Sorry if the tone of this post seems a little harsh for some maybe, but really, there are people out there, or should I call them better NARCS, that really have no limits of crossing boundaries.

Sep 24 - 1PM
Goldie's picture

Strange isn't it?

You would think that the Narc Mom would be grateful for your putting her first, afterall isn't this what a narc is all about? Narcs are just like any bully, they have a tendency to cow down when they meet their match. Because deep down they are insecure and live in fear. I witnessed this phenomenon with my dad who is a raging narc and a couple of my X's. Every so often someone comes along who triggers something in them and they put up with unacceptable behaviors from these people. My step mother had a theory on this and she often said that she thought that deep down inside my father knew he was a disordered person, less than, not right upstairs, and he allowed these encounters because he wanted to be punished for his bad behavior towards others. I have read this also in some of the literature that narcs suffer from such inner tormoil and feelings of low self worth, which of course they try to hide form us, the one's they abuse, but nevertheless, it is there, and they accept this bad behavior as punishment for their basic sense of unworthiness. It certainly makes sense because the way they carry on with the arrogance and the greater than thou persona, one can see that they in fact do not see themselves as great at all but mearly an extension of whatever they can secure through loving doting supply. I say, enjoy it, there is nothing more justifing than to watch a bully put in their place. You may not feel that way towards your mom, but I sure do with my dad. He created so much destruction and pain within the family unit with my mom and siblings that when someone puts him in his place, I generally tend to smile with amusement to myself over the strong sense that he is now getting his just do. What goes around comes around. God bless, Goldie
Sep 26 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
janine's picture

You are dead right, goldie

This inner turmoil you mention was quite obvious in my Narc. He was open with me, never tried too hide it though he does with others. He even talked about how bad he'd been and that he needed to be punished. A definitive masochistic streak there. But then he has a cold dominant Narc mother in addition to being paranoid, which means he is forever afraid his misdeeds and deceptions will catch up with him and lead to punishment while dimly feeling they ought to. Yes, they are demented souls living in their grey twisted world. They do not realise that what goes around will come around.