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Physical Abuse, in sex and in general.

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#1 Oct 5 - 9AM
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

Physical Abuse, in sex and in general.

My N was a constant sarcastic "joker". He made little comments all the time, and what have you. We would also playfight a little, never anything to make me worry. When having sex, in the beginning he was not forceful at all. He was attentive. I knew he like to be rough, I knew of a time (as he told me) of when he was so rough with a "booty call" she was bleeding, but she was a coke whore and I believe she liked it....(thats besides the point)....anyway, now and again he would slap (but more playful, then violent)...pull a little hair, again, nothing that made me worry about his behavior, our sex life.

Toward the later part of our relationship, the playfighting escalated, he would grab me harder, he would pin me down, while laughing and joking around, but it would hurt. It got to the point where I would slap him back but I was laughing the whole time, but it HURT and I guess I never realized that maybe it could of been his way of being abusive but hiding behind the "joke". Altho Im confused because I was laughing and "play" fighting back....but sometimes in the back of my mind, I would think, this seems a bit escalated. On occasion after wresting around or whatever he would want to have sex, and that would be the moment where I put the "arousal and violence" together. But then I would convince myself I was overreacting and lots of people had that kind of sex.

Another thing I was thinking back to was if I had a nap, and he was awake, he would come and wake me up EVERYTIME. He could not stand it if i was sleeping and he was awake and bored without me. He would get angry.

Looking back im scared that I was willing to allow this in return for the affection and somewhat attention and psychotic safeness I felt with him.

Am I that damaged to think this is ok and to really not even mind it?

Oct 6 - 10AM
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

hmm?

Is it physical abuse? or sexual? or both? I guess they just feel powerful, so its all the same.
Oct 5 - 4PM
Rose-Marie (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Ns and Sleep

I was interested to read that your N got angry because you fell asleep. I think the first time I witnessed "the look" on the face of N2 was when I accidentally fell asleep. When I woke up he was staring at me and accused me of falling asleep, as though I had committed some unforgiveable crime. I will never know to this day why my falling asleep caused him to be so annoyed. Rosy
Oct 5 - 6PM (Reply to #9)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

sleep?

you're easier to HYPNOTIZE when you're tired. exNH used to wake me at all hours - told me more than 5 hours of sleep was "SICK"! Until my doctor found out I was exhausted and slapped me in the hospital. Boy was he pissed then. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Oct 5 - 2PM
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

There sarcasm is so routine!!

Mine would call me and be a total ASSHOLE for no reason.... and then at the end of the conversation he would say...."oh and next time we talk try not to be such a bitch!" He use to think that was funny. I use to take those comments so personally and try to figure out what I did to deserve his wrath....Towards the end I didnt even care when he would get like that, I would just laugh, cuz the next day or the day after he would be a completely different person. Its quite pathetic when you actually sit back and think about it. How they are EXACTLY like little kids, they get mad when you arent tending to there every need. TEMPER TANTRUM!
Oct 5 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

sarcasm

both exNH and Psycho-Boy made the nastiest & cruelest comments, swearing they were FUNNY!!! One time Psycho-Boy asked me how much Clairol I used on my blondish-reddish hair (with lots of gray). I told him I hadn't colored my hair in years - he just laughed. Nasty bastards. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Oct 5 - 11AM
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ROUGH SEX

This would be no surprise with these types of men, sadistic/masicistic behavior, submissive/dominant mine got rough once briefly, pulling my hair, holding me down forceful in his private area and it freaked me out and he immediately quit, I think he quit because he didnt want to scare me away but I KNOW that is what he would LOVE TO DO. There is nothing wrong with FUN rough sex if both parties are respectful and its playing around but dont doubt for a minute these pathological types are capable of forcing and stepping over the the line, they would enjoy inflicting pain to someone else, their sexuality is so perverse, mine said many times are you into a little pain? Again go with that gut feeling, they are very controlling and their needs are always first, they dont care about ours, we were just there to please, use and abuse. I was damaged with many things that were wrong, all part of their brainwashing, sex is highly addictive if you read the book why women love psychopaths its one of their most powerful tools in brainwashing and controling us to unhealthy levels.
Oct 5 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

sarcasm

Psycho-Boy's whole blog is full of right wing button pushing and SARCASM CLICK HERE TO SEE But he tells everyone he LOVES to make people laugh. I don't see anything funny about this stuff. Your gut is right. And pathologicals VERY OFTEN use sarcasm to cover their thinly disguised hate and feelings of superiority. see: http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/18/youve-been-brainwashed-part-i#comment-1493 ~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pathologicals only discard the best, most precious of gems of people... not the worst. They despise the strong, principled, decent & honest. Their discarding of you is then their highest commendation of your worth!" - A.V.
Oct 5 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

Abusive Breakdown Tactics

Really scary how effin crazy they are...they actually follow these tatics to a tee.
Oct 5 - 4PM (Reply to #4)
4joys (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

whatever2009

"I knew of a time (as he told me) of when he was so rough with a "booty call" she was bleeding, but she was a coke whore and I believe she liked it...." This is so abusive and demeaning to ANY woman. So, what do you think? Should you have been concerned?
Oct 6 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
whatever2009
whatever2009's picture

no...

she liked it, I know of her...and to be honest, he didnt tell me that until a little while ago. Closer to when I ended the relationship. He never treated me that way, so I was never concerned, he made me feel special and wanted...so really I was blind.