photos of narcs

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#1 May 19 - 1PM
dudette
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photos of narcs

have you ever noticed that your narc does not look like himself on pictures?

When I was dating him, I was trying to find a good pic of him to send my girlfriends. I just could not find one...

the thing that struck me though... he looked really different on all of them! but ugly on all, unlike the man I thought I knew....in fact I did the best I could, only to be greeted with : what? The little old man with the white hair?

After he left his ex-w's house once I went round to help her out with packing and stuff and there will still photos of him, some younger on the walls and stuff...

I just could not believe that was him, he looked so different.....

May 22 - 5PM
StillHurting
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Same look in all photos....

In the ones I have seen online of him with his family and his so-called miserable life, which seems to be a lie.... The same look....sort of leaning into a photos, whether it be sitting down or standing. You know the pose, where there are a few people sitting there, and then the person taking the photo wants you to get in there, too, and so you sort of lean in. Saw many like that. Another one I saw had him standing in back of a group craning his head up, like "here I am back here."
May 22 - 2PM
holatristeza
holatristeza's picture

yes!

I also told my xn that he didnt look like himself in any picture. My mom wanted to see pictures of him, but I couldnt find any picture that he looked good in. He was also on the front page of a magazine once, and I felt like telling everyone that he didnt look like that in real, even though its not all about the looks..
May 20 - 1PM
Kiwi2005
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OMG! Great post!!! Yes!!! I

OMG! Great post!!! Yes!!! I thought mine was cuter on pictures and in person… and even at his cutest my friends would say “You can do waaay better!” Also looking back at pictures of MYSELF before I met him, I had a different glow versus after meeting and being around him!!! OMG!!! I wish I had a picture of us together- I’m sure you’d all get a great kick out of it! Co-workers that don’t know my story Would constantly ask if something was wrong, when were still together… and now that he’s gone they’ve actually said to me “you seem to be in a great mood today- whats going on?” WOW! But so funny about the look thing!!!
May 20 - 10AM
JRB123
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Makes me want to throw up!

All this talk of photos reminds me of something that now makes me want to throw up! On his facebook he had about 16 photo folders each with about 10 - 20 or so photos. One time we were chatting on IM. He then said ' do you want to see me in my uniform?' - he is a cop. Then he said go to folder 14, under stadium and there was a photo of him in his uniform! Now what makes me sick is that he knew exactly where this photo was! I have several folders of photos on my facebook but would have to search through them to try and remember where a particular photo was. I wouldn't have a clue with my own photos. But he typed so quickly, there was no pausing or searching as he knew exactly where that photo was! Must be one of his regular pick up techniques! VOMIT! Also after he D&D'd me he put a photo on his profile with his wife and son as if he was such a great family guy!
May 20 - 1AM
mynewlife2011
mynewlife2011's picture

N photo opportunity

My ExNH loved photo opportunities, and he does look different in a lot of them because he is an alcoholic too (many N's self medicate) and with the heavy drinking sometimes his face is really puffy. But, here is pic of him..Ladies this is what a NARC looks like in san diego- biggest Pig in the west..BEWARE Sorry, I had to delete this link. You are welcome to PM or email a pic of your Narc just not on the open board. God bless, Goldie
May 20 - 10AM (Reply to #35)
ShaynasMommy
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Goldie

I may beg to differ with you about the biggest pig in the west contest. ( he lives in Sacramento)I saw pics of mine as recent as last year and he is more like Jabba the freakin' Hut these days. I can't believe he thinks he looks so great! I saw a picture of him in a canoe, a pretty wide, stable looking one, and it looked like he could roll/sink that thing at any moment!!!! I'm so glad some other woman ended up with that two-faced triple-chined muthaf****er and NOT me.
May 20 - 6PM (Reply to #36)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

OMG ShaynasMommy

You're killing me, I cannot stop laughing. That is priceless. So if you want to get serious here: I am so glad some other woman ended up with that turtleface bucktoothed, zit picker, ass scratching, belching at the top of his lungs, farting, lazy, smelly, big Black Sambuca quzzling, drug addicted, selfish, creepy porno deviant, shoveling food down his throat, Ass Clown. God bless, Goldie
May 21 - 9PM (Reply to #37)
Arwen
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Ass Clown

I have never heard this term ass clown until I came to this board and it's just freaking hilarious.
May 20 - 9AM (Reply to #34)
Lisa87
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photos

OMG just saw this post and I'm cracking up! He looks awful in photos, except when he is drunk on the beach lol. When I look at him in the pics I think the same thing, WTF? I am attractive and everyone that ever saw us together wondered what I was doing with him. It was his charm and humbleness, easy going personality (he never got angry) and he was very very generous and tons of fun, we had everything in common and did everything together (sort of like being with another version of me!) UGH.
May 19 - 8PM
stephanie
stephanie's picture

photos

Mine has hundreds of photos of himself....on his fb and another social site all his photos are of him! He takes video of himself talking...has hours and hours of it! he's a piece of work! He is a good looking guy but sometimes his eyes look crazy and evil in pictures!
May 19 - 8PM
Tinker
Tinker's picture

they don't age well...

when we met on our first date off match, i saw him before he saw me and i almost ran, he was almost scary looking. within a few weeks, i thought he was the most attractive ever, but it was the personality, the force of him not his looks. my daughters never thought he was attractive. No good pix of him, never smiles, all the pix are years old and at a distance. my intuitist said that he's going to age a lot in the next 3 years because he doesn't take care of himself and his health will go downhill. i feel bad about that, but it couldn't happen to a nicer guy!
May 19 - 7PM
naive46
naive46's picture

Love this post...was thinking the same thing

My N's photo on Facebook is a "formal" picture that is not appealing. He must think he looks good as he's in a suit and tan but balding and shaved eyebrows??? gross... Then, his daughter who is 18 has over 600 pictures on her site and only 2 of him from a trip. (says a lot about their relationship...) He has sunglasses on... He never smiles in these photos...I realize I haven't really seen his teeth. He lost his high school yearbooks so I shared mine with him. He showed it to his 13 year old daughter. He has long hair (now bald). She thought it was hilarious. So...until now...his daughter has never seen photos of her dad from childhood???? (his mom left him young, dad remarried and that wife died, etc. etc.) I don't think I'm especially attractive but when I look at a photo of myself next to him I think...yikes...we don't even go together. If I had met him now...not sure he'd do anything for me...my attachment was from a high school fling...blah blah rest of the story....
May 19 - 5PM
Caligirl
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Mine also had little to no photos. Yours'?

Mine also had no photos of his "life" like a vampire who has been at slumber. Lol. But seriously, his mom brought over a photo album the first time we met with some of his childhood photos in it that had a couple of older photos of him (she also kept gluing the same photos of him repeatedly. Spooky). He had no photos of him in his house, but some empty frames. There was a packet of photos with him and ex-wife which he didn't know "were there" and he said "oh, those were her's" (had her name on the envelope). He literally had no pictures or personal photo album with photos of him. Isn't that odd?
May 19 - 3PM
Gravity
Gravity's picture

Dudette

YES. YES. YES. Every time I used to show my friends his pictures they'd be like "hm. Oh. Uh? Yeah? I guess he's ... sort of .. cute?" A.K.A UH WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM?! Thats because it's not their looks that attract us. It's their charm. Its they way they make you feel like you're "just SOoO alike." They mirror you, remember? They also seek out people that have qualities they wish to have.. so if you're attractive and theyre not.. they will try and flip it around so that YOU feel ugly and they feel attractive and wanted. Funny (not really) how that works, isn't it? Ugh, stupid N's.
May 19 - 5PM (Reply to #26)
mystwoman
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"They mirror you, remember?

"They mirror you, remember? They also seek out people that have qualities they wish to have.. so if you're attractive and theyre not.. they will try and flip it around so that YOU feel ugly and they feel attractive and wanted." This is so true. We are attracted to their charm. It's an illusion. A picture won't capture that. It shows them for their true selves. We're alive and can love. They're dead inside and can't. It would be like looking at vampire's reflection in a mirror. There's nothing really there but an ugly monster that only we can see. rofl.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

May 20 - 1PM (Reply to #27)
terri
terri's picture

How many of you also noticed this?

"They mirror you, remember? They also seek out people that have qualities they wish to have.. so if you're attractive and theyre not.. they will try and flip it around so that YOU feel ugly and they feel attractive and wanted." I've also noticed this about photos of me - When looking at photos of myself throughout the narc-relationship, I look younger, prettier, happier, and more vibrant in the earlier photos. Conversely, I look older, sadder, seldom smiling or smiling very slightly, almost dead-looking in more recent photos. How many of you have noticed this as well? These photos are physical evidence of how the narc sucks the light and joy from us as well. Our bodies are physical manifestations of our energy and emotions. This posting was a jolting reminder to me that I need to stay far away from narcville so I can find my smile and my light again!

Believe in yourself!
Terri

May 20 - 7PM (Reply to #28)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Photos of me

with the Narc on our best weekend together in the Honeymoon phase, I am obviously happy, smiling, and "in love." Photos from the New Year's Eve party where he was ignoring me, I'm not smiling, we're not connected and I look unhappy. Somebody took a group shot of the room and I'm way in the background with a contorted face, looking like I'm trying not to cry. It was after the Midnight kiss where he was basically rejecting me.
May 19 - 4PM (Reply to #25)
Caligirl
Caligirl's picture

Gravity

YES to everything you say!!! I had the same reaction when friends saw photos of me and my N. One friend said, "This is a mismatch. RUN!" BUT we are so smitten by their charm by then. Our first photos were on Thanksgiving at his mom's house. We were sitting on a sofa together, having our pictures taken, and he was not smiling. Then, he took the camera and started taking our picture from above and from the side, and only then started smiling. I saw pictures of him with his 2nd wife and he looked totally different. There were some with him alone, again NO SMILE whatsoever. He also flipped it around that he was the attractive one in the end. His compliments of me dropped off significantly. In the beginning, I was "the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen." At the end, he was bragging how some of his girlfriends looked like a certain actress. He talked about how good he looks in his jeans (always wore them tight), and pointing out a wrinkle on my face.
May 19 - 3PM
Epiphany
Epiphany's picture

WOW

Yep, the pictures. I found one of him on a dating website and it was so gross. I laughed and laughed. I don't think even the most desperate of women would date that. He was wasted in this picture and even said that he was the drunk guy on the right and titled his profile 'Balding Billionaire'. Otherwise I have pic's from the back and his bald dome. Full body shots showed off his lovely beer gut. Profile pictures were no chin and his beaker of a nose drooped. I too thought he was not bad looking but he's really quite disgusting. Not to mention he walks like he has a broom shoved up his backside. Shame on me but I hacked his dating profile, changed it to man seeking man, put his income at less than 10k, that he did drugs and drank 3+ days a week, that he was a momma's boy and his parents support him and altered his description a bit. Wonder how that worked out for him. Hee hee.
May 20 - 7PM (Reply to #23)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ROFLMAO!

"Shame on me but I hacked his dating profile, changed it to man seeking man, put his income at less than 10k, that he did drugs and drank 3+ days a week, that he was a momma's boy and his parents support him and altered his description a bit. Wonder how that worked out for him. Hee hee." Ha, ha, ha..... LOL! Thanks, I needed that today!
May 19 - 3PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Yes, I have noticed this

Facinating topic. I had mine on video and pics. They looked absolutely terrible. I was asking myself: Am I dellusional? Do I think this guy is hot and he really is not? WTF!!! I also was trying to find a good one to save and could not stand any of them. He looked like crap and he is only 30 years old. He also looked like a different person in many of them. Like there was no inner core and he simply takes on the facial expression necessary to fit the occasion. I was like: who is this person? When I see him now, he seldom looks good. The one time he did, he was looking like he was on his way to a date, so there you go, somehow they can look alright in the beginning with new supply and then the new supply has to go through the same realization as we do that they look like crap. Another X who actually is good looking had that same odd persona in his pics as well. I think his basic evil nature was shinning through his traditional good looks, lol. God bless, Goldie
May 20 - 8PM (Reply to #21)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Mine too looks like a

Mine too looks like a different person in all of his photos. I mean, nothing much changes really in his appearance and yet his "essence" is always different, making him look different in each one. Will the real Narc please stand up? One thing that stands out though is how happy and "glowing" he looks in the new pics with the new OW, just as he did in the pics with me on our romantic weekend in the Honeymoon phase. Subsequent pictures with me after he started the D&Ding, which I didn't realize, he's looking less happy and downright miserable in some. I think that will be a good barometer of how things are progressing in his new relationship. Seeing how the pictures change, even though I won't be able to since I've blocked him.
May 19 - 3PM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

photos of them

Oh my gosh! I can't believe no one's every brought this up! Yes, me too! I always noticed that he never looked like himself in photos. Not that he looked ugly or anything (or ugliER, LOL) but he just didn't look like HIM. I think maybe it's that he looked like a regular person and not an all-encompassing Svengali that controlled me and other women all over the world, you know? I did notice, too, that he looks different in every picture. BUT I did notice that photos of him when he was young look more like he does in real life than photos of him now. I don't know what that means! LOL
May 19 - 3PM
wacaet
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mine looks different in every

mine looks different in every picture I've ever seen of him I guess his imaginary personalities show through he's attractive, though, not ugly (but he is short!)
May 19 - 3PM (Reply to #14)
heritage
heritage's picture

what state is he in?

what state is he in?
May 19 - 3PM (Reply to #15)
heritage
heritage's picture

Any of your ex Ns a dentist?

Any of your ex Ns a dentist?
May 19 - 5PM (Reply to #18)
Susan32
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I'd set him up with mine...

The ex-Psych (psychopath, not psychology) prof was more interested in MEN anyhow. Unlike most of the Ns around here, he'd ogle men around me, and he treated male students better than female ones. The ex-P had AWFUL teeth. Rotting away. Over 4 years, they got worse. Your ex-N can have mine, because he could use EPIC dental work.
May 19 - 3PM (Reply to #16)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Dentist

I know one in Sarasota FL
May 19 - 6PM (Reply to #17)
heritage
heritage's picture

ok looking for nj

ok looking for nj
May 19 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

What? They are the ultimate

What? They are the ultimate men! Funny you say that! Mine has changed so much over the years he is a different man! He photographs poorly, or so I thought! I think he really looks that bad and beauty is in the eye of the beholder! I also think these men lead hard lives drugs and alcohol so they age poorly! Either way mines a short little gnome! Hunter