pebbles_21's story

Hi there,
I just joined this forum today after reading through some of the forum topics.

I believe, after reading other stories, that I was involved with a narcissist for over a year and a half.

When I first met him, things were good - he was a fun, easy going guy who liked to go out and have a good time. He was never jealous or possesive and seemed to want the same things I did.

After that, every month he would fight with me and argue about things like my phone, my msn contacts, he would accuse me of liking my friends' boyfriends. Whenever I stood up to him, he would tell me I had an attitude problem and wouldn't talk to me until I lost it. He would ignore me for days on end, not as a cooling off period, but I believe, just as punishment. I would tell him if he didnt want to talk just say so, but at least to respond - he just wouldnt acknowledge any texts/voicemails/emails at all. When he was through being "mad" he would talk to me like everything was normal, but would always tell me either my "attitude" goes or he goes.

It finally ended 3 months ago when we were talking on MSN. He asked me why I was changing my profile picture - what guys on there were commenting on it. I already told him the guys on my msn were friends from high school months earlier but he kept insisting I changed it to get attention. I told him obviously he's upset, we'll see each other after work and talk then but I don't want to fight anymore and to text and let me know where he wanted to meet after work - and I signed off. He sent me a really vicious text saying he didn't need to talk to me at all - obviously I had something to hide if I signed off msn like that. I finally signed back on and he kept going on and on..he implied I was a whore, said I was disgusting and always talked to other guys, he said "once a whore always a whore". I finally got very angry and called him names in return. He suddenly stopped and said "well we didn't have to go down this road, now we've both said things that we can't take back" and I said okay, well you got me angry, you said alot of things that werent true, and now YOU'RE ending it and on MSN?? and he said "I never wanted it to end, but you can't take back what you said" and he also said "I didn't do ANYTHING, YOU ended things with your actions, so goodbye, goodluck and take care" and he signed off.

In the past whenever we have fought, I have always gone back and called/texted/emailed, begged him to see me. This time I just left it. I didnt have the energy to go back and ask to talk to him because I knew it would be days of ignoring me, and even when he did talk to me, I would be blamed for everything.

I emailed him two weeks later to say my goodbye and told him everything I needed too. He never replied.
I ended up joining POF after those two weeks because my cousin, as well as two friends met their partners on there. I actually had met my ex on there the year before. I saw my ex join about a week later, I clicked on his profile but did not comment on anything.

The same day I clicked on his profile, without commenting, he sent me a vicious email saying he "found out" I had that POF for months and was cheating on him the entire time and that he never believed any of my lies - that I was a whore and I shouldnt have wasted his time. He said he was going to the dr to get checked out and I should pray he doesnt have anything, or he'll "f'ing ruin my life more than I ruined his". I couldnt believe after all that time, he was attacking me, when HE left me for nothing. I got sucked back in and ended up getting pissed off and replying. He kept telling me to admit I was a cheater - I finally said I have nothing else to say,I don't want to continue the hate and I'm blocking his email address.

I had a flight credit that he booked on his cc last year that I needed to redeem, so I sent him a straight forward email asking if he could pls provide me the confirmation number (as the airline needed that information) so that I could receive it. I expected him to ignore me and be spiteful and not give me it. Instead he provided it the very next day by email - without a word, he merely posted the confirmation number and that was it. I emailed him back and said thank you. I took that as him wanting to be civil and at least leave things on okay terms.

I haven't directly heard from him since - however he has constantly updated his POF (I see him online on the home page) with pictures where my face has been blacked out of pictures - not cropped out, but merely my head blocked out :( I have not commented. On his fb, because we have mutual friends, I was told he posted a song (not in the English language) that basically means all girls are dogs and b*tches, and he posted it after changing his picture to another one of me and him where I am blacked out. He put LOL next to the song link :S

Maybe it sounds stupid - but I feel like I need answers. I need to know why he accused me of so many things when none were true - is he a narcissist? and do narcissists MEAN the things they say, or is it a means to just hurt you?

I haven't had direct contact with him since he provided me the flight credit and I took that as him wanting to be civil,but after seeing all my pics that he blacked out, and the song link, I feel like I want to confront him. Everyone her says NC no matter what, but he never talked to me face to face since July, and I really want to get answers from him in person.

Thoughts? Input? Sorry for the novel I wrote - i just need some feedback..thank you!