What do you think will happen next????

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#1 Jun 9 - 5PM
Anonymous (not verified)
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What do you think will happen next????

Today I exposed my ex N to my manager at work. I called in a third party witness to the "last straw abuse" I dealt with yesterday.... He verbally attacked me at work calling me a whore and a horrible mother...he went on and on and on. During the meeting today he was very argumentative with the manager....(YES, I HAVE TO WORK WITH MY EX N EVERYDAY)...he kindof made an ass of himself. The rule was made....NO CONTACT! So far so good but went on all day with the manager about how it was unfair...la lalala.... I think I did the right thing but I really don't know what to expect out of him. He is very sneaky and revengfull. I'm worried he might do something to jeopardize my job. He's already turned my life into a living hell and I just can't afford to lose my job too. I asked for him to be transferred but it is not happening. I need to know.....WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT???? I'm scared to death. Give me something ladies....

Jun 9 - 9PM
Barbara (not verified)
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what to expect

expect Narcissistic Rage. Like a grown up baby he will have a grown up tantrum. He will lie about you, try to sabotage you, spread rumors and so on. Your best tact is to NOT REACT. No matter how much you will want to rage back or tell people "it's not true" you must not react. Just say to people "and you believe him WHY?" or "you've known me at this job for a while now, does that sound like me or sour grapes on his part?" He will do stupid things. You must NOT REACT to give him enough rope to be contradictory and hang himself. GOOD FOR YOU FOR EXPOSING HIM! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
Jun 10 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
Amanda1221 (not verified)
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Barbara

Thanks for the advice...I do expect the very worse from him. I refuse to quit my job! I make good money there, have benefits I need for myself and my daughter. I'm a single mother. He will hang himself. I'm sure of that...but I'm sure in the mean time, he'll try to hang me. uhhh! It's dreadful!
Jun 9 - 7PM
quietude (not verified)
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amanda

This stuff should not be tolerated at work. Do you have an HR department to go to? If you've tried that, find an attorney, tell him what's happening and see what he has to say. In most cases, there are laws to protect employees from this. Employee harassment suits look bad; it would be great if they fired his butt for it. Or in the very least, transfer you. Until then, DO NOT ever be alone with him at work. Always have a reliable witness with you when you must deal with him. At my workplace, a bona fide claim of this type will get you terminated, end of discussion. Do some research to see what your rights are. If all else fails, not worth the emotional drama - find alternate employment.
Jun 10 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
Amanda1221 (not verified)
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quietude

I do have an HR department. I tried to handle it through my manager. I have text messages he sent me, at work on the clock calling me whore and so on. The manager called the district manager and he refuses to transfer either of us. He said we just need to be more professional. I explained that it was hard to do when you get mentally and emotionally attacked daily while your trying to do your job. I threatened to call HR...but the manager said they are likely to not do much being that we were dating and it's just a personal issue. I am going to see what happens in the next few days. If he acts out...I'll call HR. But your right, he should have been terminated as calling someone a whore is actually sexual harassment. I am not quitting...I need that job because I'm a single mother in a small town. Everyone there knows to stick around when he's near me because they know his games as well. Even the manager knows but nothing is ever done. It kills me. I do have the best solution if no one at the company will do ANYTHING.....get a restraining order...then he won't be alllowed by law to come in that place. It's crossed my mind. I just wonder what he might do...he's very capable of anything...dangerous.
Jun 9 - 6PM
neveragain
neveragain's picture

Stay Calm

Amanda, you are being played big time. You can get through this with dignity and grace. You MUST stay calm. DO NOT REACT to anything he says or does. Make your face a mask of nothingness. DO NOT MAKE eye contact with him. Avoid him like the plague. Your manager already knows this is going on so how you handle YOURSELF from here on out is crucial. Refuse to engage in any back and forth with him (or anyone who is confronting you on his behalf). Pay NO attention. Stay focused and breathe evenly and deeply. When you speak, keep you voice low, speak slowly and with a deliberately calm purpose. Honestly, I'd start looking for another job. You are being attacked repeatedly and since you're on the train tracks, the train is just going to keep on coming. Please remember that you have the power to take away his power. By not reacting, staying calm and ignoring his actions, you will diminish his ability to hurt you. Stay strong and be smart! neveragain
Jun 10 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Amanda1221 (not verified)
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neveragain

I avoid him at all costs. I can't look at him....it's like looking into the toilet of a public bathroom full of solid waste to me. I hate it. I'll remember all you ladies advice and to not react. But honestly, sometimes, it hurts so bad the things he does that it takes all I have not to either punch him in the face or burst into tears. I won't lose this one....I refuse for him to take another day from my life. And REFUSE for him to take away my employment! I'll be strong...