1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. what do i do if my N IS the law enforcement??

what do i do if my N IS the law enforcement??

7 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Aug 22 - 6AM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

what do i do if my N IS the law enforcement??

so thanks to mancow, i am now on this site and SHOCKED that other women have had to deal with this kind of monster. AND this is helping me SOOOOO MUCH!!! thank you!

last October he told me my opinion doesnt matter (when i asked him to NOT take our 10 year old on a weekend motorcycle trip). it hit me like a ton of bricks. what tiny grain of stickit out for the kids i had left, gone...i have NO emotion towards him..he disgusts me-which i told him once and he started tanning and working out-um, NOT what i meant...idiot...

So, my N is a cop, chief of police...has made sure i know that he personally knows all the "top lawyers" in our area, and that our state has the best Father rights in the country...this after i finally hit the realization that i cant live like this anymore.

he recently told my best freind that he has "really bonded with our daughters over the past 6 months" (since he asked if i still loved him and i said no, which "crushed" him-poor thing) They are 8 and 11...and he wants to fight me for custody..

this is the same man that told me he "just cant handle them" in reference to the girls and their little sister squabbles and such. i have a LONG story of the crap i have put up with in the past, but right now, the children in a pending possible custody battle with someone who can and has manipulated everyone (including MY parents and sister-my freinds see right thru it and wonder why i stayed so long-the kids) around him...i have basiclly been a single working mom, slave/wife for 12 years...and NOW (since they can get thier own cereal and take their own showers, and do things on their own) he thinks he would be a better parent than me...even accused me of preparing to abandon them-which i totallly set him straight on..

i have a lawyer-he doesnt know that, i meet with the lawyer on Tuesday...any advise?? anyone else married to one of these "special" kinds?????

thanks again for the website...it is sooo helping me not feel like im the bad person (which i was thinking for a LONG time)

Thank you-
Miserable!!!

Aug 22 - 5PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

shocked

start NO CONTACT as much as possible. ALL COMMUNICATION IN WRITING. Change your locks so he can't get in. Do NOT tell the attorney you think he's an N. Just talk about the traits. Selfish, self-involved, cruel, abusive. DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT - write down date time, etc Tell the attorney you want his email so you can send every text and email this jerk sends you. Tell the attorney you want sole custody ASAP. And tell the attorney he manipulates the police against you. That you are worried for your personal safety and the kid's safety. some sites for you: http://www.abuseofpower.info/ http://www.abuseofpower.info/Tool_Wheel.htm http://www.abuseofpower.info/AOP_Links.htm be sure to write Mancow & let his show know! Go to MESSAGE BOARD and go thru all the pages Go to MY BLOG and read thru all the good stuff there more: http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/03/30/7-deadly-mistakes-victims-make-their-divorce-lawyers Also on our radio show there's an episode all about divorcing them: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck
Aug 22 - 8AM
Beachcolors
Beachcolors's picture

And do this

.....document, document, document. Write down anything and everything that happens and everyone you talk to. And control yourself. Don't let him engage you in any way!
Aug 22 - 8AM
gettinghimoutof... (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Know your rights

Also, look up on the internet the domestic violence laws that apply in your state. That way, if needed, you know which laws back you up. Remember, knowledge is power.
Aug 22 - 8AM
gettinghimoutof... (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Call the county sheriff or state police

I am in a similar situation although my N is with the fire department. The good old boys all cover for each other. When I had to call the police because he would not let me leave the house (took my keys, purse, phone and ripped the phone off the wall), the cops suggested I was having a nervous breakdown! Since then I have been advised to demand a supervisor. Since that won't work in your case, just go directly to the county sheriff or state police. And again, if they are dismissing your concerns then demand a supervisor and keep demanding someone higher up until you get the protection you deserve by law. Also, discuss this with your lawyer.
Aug 24 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

be careful

no dont go to the county sheriff you might run into my N, just from experience be careful, being in the law enforcement gives them more power and that is a dangerous thing when a psycho has legal power over others, of course that is why mine chose that profession, he has access to things others cant get, records, etc and they are physically trained in their profession. I still say mine memorized my license plate number in case he needed to track me down, and they dont miss a thing, they are constantly looking around them, scary sight seeing a psycho/N with guns, clubs, and handcuffs on his belt,
Aug 22 - 8AM
Beachcolors
Beachcolors's picture

I don't know...

I don't have kids so Im not really one to give advise on this but I guess I would do this. If your happy with your lawyer then go ahead and draw a line in the sand. Stop speaking to him and tell him to contact your lawyer. Don't have any exchange with him over anything. The kids are old enough to call him for pick ups and things like that. There is nothing you have to say to him that can't be sent via lawyers. Fight him for custody but don't say a word to him. He doesn't want the kids he wants the fight. The kids are old enough to decide some of the custody/visitation so trust the legal system. Unless he has documented proof that your a bad parent then you should do ok. Talking to and N that your in a legal battle with will on result in opprotunities for him to manipulate everything. Don't do it! Don't worry about controlling him or the legal battle just control yourself and you will prevail. By the way, he probably does know about the lawyer. He probably has someone watching your every move....if he does so what! You have the RIGHT to put yourself first, protect yourself and take your life into your own hands. After the kids are grown you don't even have to be in the same city as him. Remember that this situation is only temporary, even if temporary means 10 years. Without you to cover up for the kids, it will not take long before they find out what type of man he really is. He will destroy his "bond" with them on his own so don't worry that he will steal their love away. When he accepts that it's over for you he will try to get revenge by getting a younger and prettier new girlfriend or wife. Celebrate when that day comes because then he will have someone new to make miserable.