Ok I'm breaking

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#1 November 5, 2009 - 9:39pm
Anonymous (not verified)
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Ok I'm breaking

Guys! I'm breaking down... My Family is Like "Why doesn't she just Get over it and move on?"
"Why is she SO ANGRY??" They live in Freaking FLORIDA first of all so they are CLUELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sent them ALL an email depicting everything freaking disgusting detail of what that PIG did and do you know that My Dad (who claims that I'm his Favorite.. - Yeah Dad = SURE) he didn't even FINISH THE Fu*king Email!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just wants me to get over it and Be myself again!! My Brother tells me he'll look into the "links" I sent to him... I've heard NO FEED BACK - My sister writes me - She NEVER EMAILS ME - Like Once a friggin YEAR MAYBE... I'm SURE My Dad had everything to do with that... OMGosh! someone had to PRompt YOU TO CARE ABOUT YOUR FREAKING SISTER???????
These Freaking people are UNREAL... Needless to say I'm DEEPLY HURT at their Ignorance and lack of EMPATHETIC APPROACH TO ME... My brother actually says I Feel sorry for myself?? Huh?
REALLY?? With a F-ing family like this - who wouldn't?????????
I mean I know they all just want to forget the Bastard who hurt me - but THEY ARE MISSING THE POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No one is coming along side me... NOT REALLY.

Ugh

I'M BEYOND BENT. B-E-Y-O-N-D... I'M ALONE HERE... HOW CAN I FIND A MEMBER WHO LIVES WHERE I DO?? I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A 'BUDDY' IN PERSON!!!!!!!!!! I JUST FEEL LIKE NO ONE THAT I KNOW GETS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELP!!!!!!

November 6, 2009 - 12:08pm
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

quit trying to make friends and family understand

I especially like the friends who say, oh he is just a playboy and you fell very in love then he dumped you, ha ha wish it was that simple, there was alot of pathology and mind control and brainwashing that went along with it, and they really dont dump you, they hang on and torture you so you give them more of their sick supply, even when they are with you you are really dumped you just dont realize it, they arent with us for reasons we want to believe or for the right reasons, I always said that to my counselor why did he dump me, he would say My dear you were dumped from day one and that was three years ago.
November 6, 2009 - 12:30pm (Reply to #6)
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

great point cynthia. We were

great point cynthia. We were dumped from day one...heck mine was nasty to me before date two...saying that if I wanted to see him the next day then I had to help him with a letter he was writing. when he came back to me i thought he was here to stay and my family even thought he was here to stay. I think i was just someone to cling to after the OW dumped him publicly online. This is what healthy normal functioning people dont understand. It might have looked like they loved us from an outsider or that he is just a player etc, etc. They didnt experience all that brainwashing...and there was a lot of it. Cynthia sounds like you have a great counselor. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
November 7, 2009 - 3:07pm (Reply to #7)
time_to_move_on
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yes... good point...

Cynthia, that's very apt how your counsellor says it. When my ex didn't support me when my mother was dying, I told my counsellor, she just said "but you knew he never would". She was right, but for some reason I guess I thought he would. He talked a good talk. Destiny... mine was aggressive to someone else on date one.. I should have walked away.
November 6, 2009 - 3:21am
tasha
tasha's picture

......

Sometimes it's just too hard for our families and friends to fathom. Especially if he was 'Mr Wonderful' around them.Barbara has said many times-This is not a 'normal' breakup.Sometimes we have to work through this ourselves-I guess at a time you really need their understanding and support they are letting you down. My support came from strangers and although my family did know there was something not quite right with me, They couldn't understand. This site has helped me sooo much and the people that post here are half a world away-but it still is a comfort to me to know that they are here. Please don't feel alone,perhaps there is someone near you : )
November 5, 2009 - 10:06pm
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I can relate...I have come

I can relate...I have come to terms with my family and other friends that just cant understand....to an outsider ...they see that the XN is just not right and have no clue why we seem stuck. Last nite my brother was on IM with me and said that I am sick and lonely. It hurt, but I know he cant relate to all i have been thru. It is a tough process to go thru...i only talk about it to people on this board and others that have gone thru a N experience...if they havent they dont get it. Others clearly see my XN is a psycho...just by looking at pics of him they see it...i never did and still dont. hang in there and keep posting here it really does help. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
November 6, 2009 - 6:40am (Reply to #2)
4joys4
4joys4's picture

I can relate. My brothers

I can relate. My brothers are distant. I feel alone alot of the times. Some blame me for getting involved with him in the first place. It's blaming the victim. You have to find support outside of these people although you are blood related doesnt mean they get it and will give you the kind of support you need and want. I found a great therapist and a DV group. I also found a friend or two by volunteering in my community. Dont look for support where it isnt. I know it hurts but ..find it where you can.
November 6, 2009 - 3:18pm (Reply to #3)
Kate (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Yeah... You all Make much sense

Problem is - I have no more friends really. 2 guy friends and that's it. And yeah - Don't really wanna try and talk to THEM about this... they know about it - actually one of the friends was my XN's Business Partner until He lost EVERYTHING to him and XN stole all his equipment, profits and even personal property. Told him to come here and vent too! He said he might! Anyway, I have my daughter but she doesn't want to talk about it with me... I think deep down she's trying to just forget it - But I have prompted her to come here too and vent - whether she will or not remains to be seen. ya know, I had a friend /therapist for the 5 years I was with the XN - actually she was my friend for many years b4 XN -- anyway her husband & 'us' were 'friends' if you call it that -- Anyway, Her & I have stopped communicating because although it was HER that suggested I look up Narcissism regarding him... she basically said that I was attracted to him because I AM BORDERLINE Personality!! I thought, "HUH? We've been Friends For HOW LONG now and you're JUST NOW telling me this?????????" I don't believe I am Borderline - I believe I have permanent damage from PTSD = from a Narcissistic attack at 15 that went on for 5 years... I am discovering NOW that I buried all the Disgusting violations that boy put me thru as an innocent 15 year old... The rage I buried because of being RAPED all the time in my own HOME!!! I've never told ANYONE about it -- My family has NO IDEA... I think now this is WHY I get So angry at insignificant as well as significant issues... Barbara suggested I get Therapy before the PTSD sets in from THIS XN = and now I realize I've had it for the last 30 years... Not to mention the PTSD from two other rapes and 2 abortions, a divorce B4 This one -- OMGosh - wtH!!!!??? I didn't know... I didn't realize I was suffering psychological damage~ Only you guys can begin to imagine how messed with I feel and how messed UP I feel... I looked up at the sky today & told God "All these outlets I have are Good, but I'm so damaged and trashed at this point, It would take a Supernatural miracle to heal my heart now - Not that I don't believe in you or your Miracles... I'm just sayin'... NO ONE can fix me but YOU." All Fired Up!!!