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leaving an NH

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#1 Jul 2 - 12PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

leaving an NH

I could really use some help...am shaking. My NH of 20+ years - whom I have told that I want to separate and we have had some discussions around this topic - woke me up while I was sleeping in my 9 year old daughters bed next to her - and tried to have sex, was quite insistent, i woke up to him in the "middle of something" - I feel awful, gross and discusting....can't just walk out as we have kids....he is sending me nasty notes today about financials....any help out there?

Jul 2 - 1PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

healing

I will bump up some resources for you. Get an ATTORNEY ASAP. He's a SICKO! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/
Jul 2 - 1PM
sassyredhead
sassyredhead's picture

Healing

I am in almost the same situation. I am going to see an attorney next week. My mom is helping me with the consultation fee. Just go see an attorney so they can tell you what's going to happen and how to handle things. I think that will alleviate some of your anxiety. That is what I am hoping for. We are here for you and you are in our thoughts - sending you good vibes!!!!
Jul 2 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
healing (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

leaving an NH

Thanks sassyred, I am trying to contact an attorney now...I need to just deflect all this criticism and craziness...and focus on anything positive. Thanks for your support, I hope that things go well for you.
Jul 2 - 12PM
suzanne
suzanne's picture

Healing

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. PRAYING FOR YOU, may God give you the strength you need to face the journey ahead of you. I do no have advice, but I am pretty sure Barbara would say GET OUT NOW. Call your local church, even if you are not a member, they will help you. Reach out to a strong girlfriend who will help you, a neighbor, SOMEONE is near you in your life that can help you, open your mind and THINK who it is. DO NOT DO NOTHING...DO SOMETHING TODAY. Take a step friend. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!
Jul 2 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
healing (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

leaving an NH

Thanks so much, it gives me strength, you are right Barbara would say that....i just need to stay strong enough to put up with the verbal assault tonight.
Jul 3 - 7AM (Reply to #3)
healing (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

leaving an NH

Any advice for dealing with an NH who will no allow you to physically separate? He was close to moving out for a while a couple of weeks ago (he "seemed" to be) but now it's all about money....we don't have enough for him to buy a new house or get an apartment (i think he could for a while. I don"t mind selling the house now but he is accusing me of not thinking of the children. The kids are so anxious and feeling the effects of his wrath on me, I always put them first but I can't be okay with him living with me. I am not caving in to all his criticism, finger pointing and ranting, so at this moment he is trying to make me feel worse (not possible, been there already!). I am keeping my shield on and trying to deflect his nasty comments. I am trying to find a new job (was laid off a few months ago) and he is criticizing my efforts to find one, insisting that unless I ask for his help and his contacts I will not succeed. Am I going crazy?? I am just trying to hold on to sanity. This nasty man is the same one who was so desperate to have sex 36 hours ago (i did not!). Help
Jul 3 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

healing

1. Go to or call your local DV Crisis Center http://www.womenshealth.gov/Violence/state/ Ask to see an Advocate do NOT tell your story to the receptionist - just say you need help. Work on an exit plan with the Advocate. Do not back down from this appointment. While you are there find out about counseling for yourself to get through this. 2. Find an attorney or legal aid in your area http://www.womenslaw.org/ You may have to get a Marshall with a legal order to remove him from the home. A legal aid/ or attorney can help you with this. YOU ARE NOT GOING CRAZY. Is there somewhere or someone you can go to? If he gets physical - CALL THE POLICE ASAP!!!! And file an assault charge on him ASAP!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free articles & information for abuse victims: http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com Effective Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals http://one2one4victims.webs.com/