Parasite Free

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Aug 10 - 6PM (Reply to #20)
anonymous
anonymous's picture

Why they help - struck a chord

Used - that is EXACTLY what my N did. He even said he was helping me to see whay I should dump my husband and when he dumped me, he said he was helping me then too ... and to top it all of, he had the cajones to say, even though you and I didn't work out right now (but maybe someday we could try again), you should still leave you husband for someone who can accept the fact that you're a mother. Well now - that whole Mind-F was honestly the most HELPFUL set of tidbits of unsolicited advice I had ever received in my life. Gawd! I think "helping" me was his little entertainment for the summer while he was bored. As an added benefit, he got great sex in the process.
Aug 11 - 11AM (Reply to #21)
better off
better off's picture

Yes, thank you, N for this

Yes, thank you, N for this unsolicited HELP. What would I do without your help? Thanks for helping me almost end up in a nuthouse. Realizing I was simply entertainment for a bored rich man, yep. Feels great, doesn't it? The D&D sucks so bad, and then, when you figure them out, it's like... oh, thank you, GOD!!!
Aug 8 - 1PM (Reply to #15)
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

Better Off is in da house

Dang you know how to nail it down! Some things for me to think about in this post, thanks.
Aug 8 - 2PM (Reply to #16)
better off
better off's picture

thx :)

thx :)
Aug 6 - 4PM
ShaynasMommy
ShaynasMommy's picture

Congrats...

you are among those of us "in the know." And I would say your therapist is spot on, about your husband. His kind is extremely rare. I hope you guys can work things out. And in the future, you will remember that when things get rough, the grass truly is not greener on the other side. I sincerely wish you good luck
Aug 6 - 7PM (Reply to #7)
Lim
Lim's picture

Thank you

Thank you so much. It was one week ago today and while I still have thoughts of the N, they are mostly negative ones. I truly am dumbfounded how an individual can just walk away and destroy lives without a second thought. Obviously, there are millions out there. This should be a required health topic in high school for teens. God was obviously with me when this all transpired. I am grateful he stepped in and told the N to walk away. Yes, my husband is very rare. So many fantastic qualities. We have been married 24 years and are going to work hard at making the second half so much better. I did not mention through all of this. My 18 year old son has been absolutely amazing as well. So supportive. He told his dad that he was going to teach him how to be romantic. Unfortunately, he lost what he thought was a best friend and mentor in the N. He now knows that horrible people really do exist.
Aug 6 - 1PM
RandomGal
RandomGal's picture

I know how it feels to be

I know how it feels to be caught at a vulnerable time it leaves you thinking how could I have been so naive, he was well practiced and you weren't, it says more about you than it does about him. I have been caught out by 3 N's and I am learning what to look out for now. I have a great girlfriend who is nobody's fool she says some men just look around the room and spot easy targets they know their prey....
Aug 6 - 10AM
narcdx3
narcdx3's picture

Loving the N

The fact that we loved something that did not exist is the hardest part---knowing how much we truly gave and it was all a game to them. I too live in a small town where my situation has been great for lunch time talk. I struggle daily with people who just don't get how I fell for it. He is very charismatic, all the things you said about yours. The thing was he turned it up behind closed doors. He hooked me with every possible hook there was. He zoned in on all my needs and insecurities. He asked friends personal questions about me and developed himself around the answers(that is the one that I just let soak in recently---he built himself on what he knew about me, he studied me).I was going through my divorce and was very vulnerable. I was completely in his trap. But in the end I woke up and struggled to free myself. I asked all the questions, why did you lie, why did you make up things to hook me, you are not who you say you are. The list goes on. For 3 weeks I cried and was a public mess. Then when I saw it for sure this is a repeat of what I just spent nearly 2 years getting out of I broke down, went home went to bed and cried all day. I kept telling myself he is evil, he is an animal they preys on people. I had to let go of the why. I know why--I was easy prey. But I lost so much in the end--I lost my job for 1, I lost the respect of a lot of people and I lost friends. But my ex-husband(also a N) took joy in hearing I had lost these things. I simply told him, I haven't lost a thing, I regained my life. And that is so true. I have my freedom to be me, to come and go without questions, to spend such precious time with my children, to stop crying in front of my children. Things happen for a reason. My job had taken time away from my family--it was a 24/7 on call go in when needed, etc. It is a blessing. For you, I hope it is a door opening to feel love and understanding. Good luck with it all. It's like waking up from a dream. I still find myself going back and trying to fix it here or there and saying really why didn't you see it. But we have to forgive ourselves.
Aug 6 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
Lim
Lim's picture

Loving the N

I ask that we all hold our head high as we walk through the internal daily struggles of life as we deal with this pain. Sure, others can gossip and talk all they want. I feel comfort in knowing that I know the true him. These individuals do not. So many are quick to judge, but they have not been brainwashed by these mindfreaks. They are the shit on the bottom of our shoe and we need to scrape them off.
Aug 6 - 10AM
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

Welcome Lim

and I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Much of your story with the N is all too familiar unfortunately...I so understand watching their radar go off and knowing that you have another challenge ahead of you (and then wondering why we tolerate this crap on top of that). Keep reading and posting and working through your grief...you are wise to take that medicine now rather than try to figure out any more why he is the way he is. What's more important is to figure out what needs to grow and change in you.
Aug 6 - 11PM (Reply to #2)
happydaysahead
happydaysahead's picture

Thanks you guys !!!

All of these posts are really hitting close tonight. Some of these things sound EXACTLY what I went thru. I just know we are all going to be ok !! Man, we have really been put thru the ringer, yet here we are supporting each other thru it all !! We are one strong group of women, that's all I can say !!