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OMG!! I HATE CO-PARENTING!!

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#1 Oct 28 - 1PM
wthellwasithinking
wthellwasithinking's picture

OMG!! I HATE CO-PARENTING!!

Ok, I'll try to be quick but I just had a MASSIVE argument with my XNH at my daughter's school!!

It was so horrible because he picks her up on his weekends on Thursdays and brings her back to school on Friday and Monday. So I always go to see her off and check her homework and such...well, he and I don't speak so it's quite awkward at the lunch table. The MOMENT we walk out the door to get in our cars, he starts the wide-eyed foaming at the mouth tantrum! Like a light bulb was switched off and on. Totally brings me immediately back to the memories of the abuse.

I have a phone for my daughter with a Mommy button and the other button has my mother's number in it. He would never answer my calls when she was with him so I bought her the phone to use when she's gone so we wouldn't have to worry about him not answering my calls. Anyway-he wants the phone number so he can call her! I told him that he could get her a "special" phone for when she's with me and he could talk to her that way. Mind you, he calls the house and my daughter begs for me not to answer the phone because she doesn't want to talk to him!!

He won't have that...he answered her phone and told me I would now have to call his phone in order to talk with her unless I gave him the number. He wouldn't let me talk to her and hung up HER phone and TURNED IT OFF!! BASTARD! So I call his phone...like he requested, answers and tells me, "Oh, you can talk later not right now..." and hangs up.

Doesn't he get that I don't want to speak with him?? We never speak, I try NOT to co-parent! I have nothing to say. I give him her backpack and give her a kiss goodbye and that's it...we don't talk and it is better that way. He can't talk to me with ANY ounce of respect and it's always a fight over control with him!

My hands are tied, the court system sucks and now my poor baby can't call me even if she wants to.

Oct 30 - 12AM
M
M's picture

parent forum

I believe if you click on the "forum" at the top it will take you there. Mine is so possesive of his "time" with our D. When we were married he spent less time with her. The custody arrangement even with me as primary has him spending MORE time with her. It's so backwards. And he is so possesive...if he only knew she'd rather be with me 24/7...but time will tell.
Oct 30 - 12AM
wthellwasithinking
wthellwasithinking's picture

Parent Forum?

Where is the Parent Forum??! I would love to post there as well :) * My name is Davy Jones * Will Turner: You loved her. She's the one, then you cut your heart out... Davy Jones: [tentacles bristling with rage] No... she PRETENDED to love me! SHE betrayed ME! Will Turner: And after which betrayal did you cut out your heart?

* My name is Davy Jones *
Will Turner: You loved her. She's the one, then you cut your heart out...
Davy Jones: [tentacles bristling with rage] No... she PRETENDED to love me! SHE betrayed ME!
Will Turner: And after which betrayal did you cut

Oct 29 - 12AM
M
M's picture

co-parenting?

Co-parenting is MARRIAGE. It does not exist in divorce--and especially with an N. Mine wants me to back him on stupid ideas--and I din't. So he thinks we are not "united" for our daughter. again--unity==marriage. divorce==seperation. Live your life as if you are a single parent-- with a babysitter that you must watch. Especially with N's...you know how they affect/treat their kids. Make yourself the strong parent. If it's your daughter's phone, he should have no control of it. you need to give her that message. There are a bunch of us Moms on this forum. Sometimes we post under the Parenting Forum. We have to protect our babies. I've kept him to email for over 6 mo. Love it. If you want to email offsite, Betty can hook you up with me :) Hang in there
Oct 28 - 1PM
Qing Yuan
Qing Yuan's picture

co-parenting with these

co-parenting with these freaks is like trudging up hill with massive weights in huge ruck sack on your back. its like dragging yourself along with the a great huge burden... Firstly you have to give your child over to them, so they can drive there toxic behaviour deep into the 'make-up' of your childs psyche. This is obvioulsy the biggest worst danger of the situation. But then you have to deal with the rules that he makes them up as he goes along, according to his whim at the time. He might feel like being polite and behave with conduct one minute, the next thing, he totally disregards the rules and and flouts the agreements... and in his tiny little mind he thinks that, that is absolutly fine.. becasue he really believes he is correct and that everyone else is wrong. Negotiated plans become fodder for him to use.. He will black mail and manipulate.. he will let you down at the last minute and change plans just at the last second. YOu may even think that for while it is all working out and that you have no contact down to a comfortable tee, you think for a while that you have achieved an amicable break and then without warning, withour tellign you take brace postion, he does something that makes you feel like you crashed headlong into hell. CO-PARENTING WITH NARC SUCKS SO HARD... I AGREEEEEE!!!!
Oct 28 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
wthellwasithinking
wthellwasithinking's picture

SUCKS ASS

Definitely the worst is letting go of my daughter's hand and watching her walk off into the abyss with a monster. THE WORST! You're right, it's a total gut check when we don't speak and then he decides he needs to pick some kind of fight with me over little stuff...the little stuff that he can't seem to control. So, let's just turn off the phone like a nit wit. What does that help? Nothing, just makes my daughter miserable and scared listening to him rant about how I "don't let him be the father." Dude, you may be the Donor but you never will be a real father. I feel like I want to vomit every time I'm in the same area as him because I feel like I am always waiting for the shit to hit the fan...just like when I was married to him! He has a new wife and another baby on the way...shouldn't he focus on them and quit mind-fucking me??! It makes me so mad because I'm calm and content until he decides he needs to be right about something. It must make him so warm and fuzzy inside to see me try and protect my baby. * My name is Davy Jones * Will Turner: You loved her. She's the one, then you cut your heart out... Davy Jones: [tentacles bristling with rage] No... she PRETENDED to love me! SHE betrayed ME! Will Turner: And after which betrayal did you cut out your heart?

* My name is Davy Jones *
Will Turner: You loved her. She's the one, then you cut your heart out...
Davy Jones: [tentacles bristling with rage] No... she PRETENDED to love me! SHE betrayed ME!
Will Turner: And after which betrayal did you cut

Oct 28 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
Qing Yuan
Qing Yuan's picture

oh lord, its truly

oh lord, its truly impossible to navigate 'any kind' of relationship with these guys. I do think that most woman would have seen through these guys striaght away and they leave pretty quick. WE are the one who stayed. We said we loved them and we made promises and vows.. they expected to us to stay true to our word.. abuse and soul rape ensued. We tripped over ourselves trying to work out what we had done and trying to put it right to get back the love we first had... we never could, because in their eyes we were a disapointment. SO they treated us with disrepect and vile condemnation..... ....Then when we walked away they were shocked like it was unbelievable outcome.. 'How come she want to leave me when I am such a great loving husband'???? they really do think they are prefect and it is we who are flawed.. So then they have to make revenge plans to hurt you still after ever onwards. "you rejected me (like others have in my life.. poor me,.. poor me..) so therefore you will have to suffer my wrath" so they cut out our heart so that no one else can love us and we can love no one else. "If I cant have you (in the idealistic way that I want you) then no will have you.. " type of situation. I think they get kind of what they want... They cant love, they cant posess true light so there only achievemnt in life is crushing the light in others. Co-parenting is drain... for both the child and the 'safe' parent.