obladi's story

My story...I never knew people like this existed...

My relationship with “Trash” only lasted about 4 months. Oh but it was such a typical relationship with a narcissist. I hadn’t been in a committed relationship in 6 years and in the beginning I was hesitant in dating him. He sent me countless messages and emails, trying to charm his way into my heart and he did. I was really comfortable with him because his parents and my parents were friends for plenty of years. So I let my guard down. Within 3 weeks, we made it official. He was so into me and on every date, it felt like fireworks. We spent every second together and the chemistry was so strong. Halfway in, we had already picked out baby names and spoke about moving in together. Around the third month, I started to see his true colors. He wasn’t as affectionate and being loveable was not something he was good at. He was possessive (even questioning my friendship with a gay friend), secretive and moody. I still enjoyed my time with him so I didn’t break it off immediately.
On NYE, I had made plans with my friends but he let me know he had to spend it with his parents. He said he would meet up with me after midnight. He didn’t have a car (because he wrecked his) so I let him borrow mine so he could come to my house after his family’s party. He showed up to my house at 2am, drunk and aggressive. I decided to break up with him then. Mind you, I had to drive him home at this time. On the way, I told him how unhappy he made and that I didn’t even want to be friends with him. He was quiet and just kept texting on his phone while I poured my heart out. He got off the car and then punched the door, leaving a dent. He spent the next few days calling and texting me. Telling me that we should stay friends and maybe work on getting back together. I knew he had a tough life and really didn’t have any friends so I say okay. In the middle of January, we hung out and it was like we were a couple again. I knew I didn’t want to be with him but it was like magnetism when we were together. The next week, he kept trying to make plans with me. Then I learned about the new supply. He had been putting pictures of them online…one of them was of them at a party on NYE. He had used my car to go meet up with her.
I had met this girl a month ago. Trash, my parents and I went to eat at a restaurant. He told me that the cashier was a friend of his from school. He told me how his ex gf would get jealous when he used to talk to her. I asked if he was attracted to her and he said no, she wasn’t his type but she was a cool friend. I didn’t think much of it. He did mention that this girl owed the restaurant and her parents were wealthy. (red flag). I decided to call the girl after finding out about the pictures. She informs me that he has been trying to get with her since the day we ran into her. He told her that I was like a “sister” to him and that my parents helped raised him. That he had gotten kicked out of his house and that he was living with us. The time he drove my car to party with her, he said it was his brother’s car. (the only brother he had is now dead). So many unnecessary, huge lies. I also shared with this girl that I had a miscarriage recently, texted Trash and did not get a respond. She said that he did mention that his “sister” had a miscarriage and he felt bad about it. He used my misery to get attention from her! Instead of being there to comfort me for the loss of our child. The girl said she believed me but she needed proof that we were a couple. I sent her pics of us kissing and holding hands. She said he was a scumbag and that she was done with him. Forward to a week later, I get a text from Trash telling me to stop contacting his girlfriend and that nothing I said or did would cause them to break up. She had stayed. SMH.
He still had a couple of my belongings and owes me money. I went to pick up my stuff and he had ripped up my clothes and tore up my books. Expected. He included a note saying something about my future boyfriend. I told his dad that we had to set up a payment plan so I could get my money back. Then Trash comes out of his room, calls me every cuss word in the book, punches the wall and tells me “If you were a guy, I would beat the beep out of you.” I kept my cool and told the dad to call me when he had some of my money. I couldn’t understand why he kept acting like this. What the hell was he mad about? I was the one who was hurting in all of this. I was no contact for a few weeks.
I was also under his cell phone contract and he had given me approval to transfer my line out. Recently, he called the company and said he did not authorize the transfer, so they put me back on his account. I was baffled. Why would he do this? He is clearly in another relationship, we don’t have any contact and now you want to reject my transfer? So I had to text him, be polite and ask him to please call so I can be out of his account. I didn’t expect a reply (since he didn’t reply to the msgs about me being hurt of his infidelity and my miscarriage). He did reply to this, saying he would “think about it”. All I said was thank you, then realized that all he wanted was a bit more of my attention. I’m just hoping this nightmare ends as soon as possible.
I am only 25 years old and I was not aware that there were people in the world like this. I knew there was something off about Trash but I couldn’t figure out what. I was mostly hurt because I hadn’t opened up my heart to anyone in years and now that I decided to take a risk, all of this happens. Then to know that I will most likely never get an apologize, an explanation or some kind of closure has been a tough fact to accept. It’s like he did the crime but I am doing the time. So so unfair.