not sure if he is a N or just oure evil

Sorry this may be a long post but just need some help understanding and support

Will try and keep it short. Me and by other half have been together for 5 years. There is a 10 year age gap he is 24 I and older. We both fell in love so quickly but over the last years he has cheated on me numerous times (17 I know of) and dumped me numerous times in the most obscene and horrible ways.

Nov 2015 was the last time i swore i would never take him bakc and then in Jan 2016 he came back to me begging me to forgive him told me he wanted to marry me I was the only one for him and he would change everything. I took him back. Things were good but lo and behold a female appears she tells me he has been with her he swears she was from when we broke up they had a kid she miscarried and he basically just shunted her out. It got to a point where he just wants to be out with his boys all the time whenever were together he hardly talked to me it’s like a chore he says it’s because he is stressed and he can show it only to me but with his friends he can pretend and be happy. I look around at other relationships and feel so jealous. By July 2016 I decided to walk away i guess part of me was hoping he would fight to not lose me but he just let me go.

I really made progress and was happy again and yes you guessed he came crawling back in Sept begging crying promising me the world and I believed him and took him back. Things had been good for a month or so and then the stories being busy not ever coming home I kept asking him whats happening have you got someone else just be honest and always he would swear there was noone only loved me.

In Jan 17 he came to my house to talk about marriage this year I was so happy and then last Sunday i found out he has been spending the last 3 months living with a single mum playing happy families telling her he loves her wants to marry her. When it all came out he drove to her crying begging telling her i am a liar i am just trying to destroy them. She believed him and they are back playing happy families he didnt even call talk say anything to me since it all came out just vanished again.

i am so heartbroken my heart actually hurts i cant stop crying i am not sleeping hardly can eat a thing. i feel embarassed like a fool and i know its all my fault but now i cant cope i physically and emotionally feel drained sick and so sad....