Not Supportive to Me when my Dad Died

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#1 Mar 24 - 5PM
Night Owl
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Not Supportive to Me when my Dad Died

Excuse me while I rant here, this has just been on my mind today and I wanted to get it out and figured the posters here would relate.

The final straw for me with the ex N was how he treated me when my father died. My parents were vacationing in another state and my Dad died unexpectedly of a heart attack. I got the call about 8 pm and when we went to bed that night I said to the ex N that I was in shock over my dad's death. He said to me "you've got to get over it". I just found out 2 hours earlier that my dad died, it's not like I was dragging it out. Geesh! I should have known with him though that he would have no sympathy. Of course if it had been one of his family members he would have expected the world to stop....

He didn't come to my dad's visitations. I begged him (stupid me) to come to the funeral. He did come to the funeral but left immediately afterward. I was left there making excuses for him like an idiot when people asked where he had gone to right after the funeral, we had dated about 5 years so people knew he was a "serious" boyfriend for me and wondered why he wasn't around supporting me.

When he was so cold and rude to me at that time, I tried to say something to him about it and his reply was "you are not the center of the world, it's not all about you". THAT WAS IRONIC considering as we know that Narcs expect the world to revolve around THEM.

When I look back I realized that it was always me doing for him and his family, he never gave back. Stupidly I was so desperate to have him stay with me I put up with that crap. But my moment of clarity or sanity or whatever you want to call it was at my father's funeral when I realized that if something happened to me my N would never be there for me. And it made it more apparent when my relatives and friends were so supportive to my family when my dad died, it just made it more clear what selfish jerks the ex N and his family were.

This sounds terrible, but I think my ex N is more worried about what he will get in the will than his parents dying. Because he doesn't know what love is, he doesn't realize how a family could love their dad and grieve for him. His parents have a terrible marriage and he doesn't understand how a wife could grieve for a husband that she truly loved.

Mar 26 - 1AM
ichooselife
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I''m sorry to hear this, and I went through this too....

Mar 25 - 3PM
peacelily76
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So sorry to hear how you were treated when your dad died

Mar 25 - 3PM (Reply to #18)
Night Owl
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I feel for you

Mar 25 - 3PM
sweetpeasarah
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Sorry for your loss

Mar 25 - 3PM (Reply to #16)
Night Owl
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That's terrible

Mar 25 - 3PM
IncognitoBurrito
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I think

Mar 25 - 3PM (Reply to #14)
Night Owl
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Thanks

Mar 25 - 9AM
saphire1
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Im sorry for your loss. I

Mar 25 - 1PM (Reply to #12)
Night Owl
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That is terrible

Mar 25 - 9AM
cant smile with...
cant smile without you's picture

the same tihing. however my

Mar 25 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
Night Owl
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My Ex N would bring up my Dad too...

Mar 24 - 8PM
Renegade
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Same here...and it was a deal

Mar 25 - 1PM (Reply to #7)
Night Owl
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I agree

Mar 25 - 2PM (Reply to #8)
Renegade
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I witnessed my mom leave the

Mar 24 - 7PM
Fearless
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so sorry for your loss...

FeFe

Mar 24 - 9PM (Reply to #5)
Night Owl
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"said it "wasn't his place"

Mar 24 - 7PM
SundaySmile
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I am sorry

Mar 25 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
Night Owl
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Thanks

Mar 25 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
SundaySmile
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indeed