Not so cool tonight

14 posts / 0 new

#1 Nov 10 - 3PM

julia29

Not so cool tonight

My ex mailed me tonight.... Just asking and hoping I'm fine... I thought he'd never contact me again,really!!
Fuck! I hate it, NC is the only way, but still... I see myself beginning to think: Maybe he wants me back/misses me/ isn't a narc after all... I hate this! Stay the f... away from them, I want so bad to answer his e-mail, instead I bought myself a really expensive vine... LOL.. I know it's stupid, but had to spoil myself in some way this evening....

#2 Nov 10 - 6PM

blueeyes

?

Expensive Vine? lol Anyway, block the bastard. I wish I could go NC totally. I have it as much as allowed by law. He gets jabs in via our children. I've gotten quite good at dodging him. He doesn't know how I do so well? He told his mother "she won't answer me, what if the kids were in an emergency". She told him to cal 911. Good advice.

#3 Nov 10 - 4PM

jen79

Julia

They never go, ONLY if you caused them such a bad injury, that they run away from you forever cause you scare the shit out of them. But if not, they ALWAYS come back, even if it is just for a word you send them. You have to end it within you.

#4 Nov 10 - 4PM

Scoop

See they never really go

See they never really go away it is us that has to go . Do not be fooled by this email , mine would do the same thing and i would contact himm and he would shame dump me all over again , he got such a high from hurting you he is trying to get another high ... its a sick game . IF he isnt a narc he will make a proper gesture of reconcilation , NOT a one sentance email , is that all youre worth a one sentance email ? you want to hear that he values you so much that he was a complete idiot by hurting you the way he did , you want to hear "there is nothing i wouldnt do to get you to FORGIVE ME... " ....Stay NC , do not respond to this . Its so easy to remember the good at this point but really remeber the bad , go there in youre head and remember all the crap he has said . Put youre head up girl .... xxxx

#5 Nov 10 - 7PM (Reply to #11)

almostlydia

Ditto on Scoop. almostlydia

almostlydia

#6 Nov 10 - 4PM (Reply to #10)

julia29

After he dumped me.... He

After he dumped me.... He wrote me, two month after, how he realized that we were like Vicky Cristina Barcelona ' and he was so horny, because the temper-girls was the badest in bed (okay I know my english sucks) And I was soo temper... He was not sorry! So you are so right!

#7 Nov 10 - 3PM

Briseis

Block him so he can't

Block him so he can't contact you and mess with your head like this. It is simple self care, Julia. Of course he wants you "back", for whatever Narc needs he exploited you to meet for him. In these early days of NC, no one is strong enough to deal with this stuff without having "what if he really isn't . . ." kinds of thoughts :( Not me, not anyone. That's why you have to do the KINDNESS to yourself, and block him. If you don't block him, you are as much as inviting him to contact you. And mess with your head, and cause you to go into a tailspin. It's really that simple ((((Julia))))

#8 Nov 10 - 4PM (Reply to #4)

julia29

Hmm, okay you make me think,

Hmm, okay you make me think, perhaps I should block him after all, and not think of him every time I change my FB-pic or 'likes' something... You know??

#9 Nov 10 - 4PM (Reply to #5)

Briseis

Exactly :)

You need to shut him out of your life most especially, out of your MIND. That means blocking him on FB too, so you don't have that little unhealthy twinge when you change your pics. Your mind should be FREE of him. It's like these Narcs become some kind of god to us, always watching, critiquing and condemning us. Get a new hotmail addy, and have all your emails forwarded but his. Other people can adapt to your new email addy. You just don't want any openings he can slither into. You don't want to be in a position of just HOPING he won't call you and mess with your head. You have the power to stop it altogether, but you have to want to stop it yourself. Check out what Positivefuture and Sick of it have done lately :) They brought down the guillotine :D . It was uncomfortable at first, but very quickly, the relief hit.

#10 Nov 10 - 6PM (Reply to #6)

gettinbetter

There's something about them

There's something about them having the ability to access you even if they are not trying that allows their negative toxic energy in. Its like my phone is the conduit for the negative poision to flow into my soul and he doesn't even have to say a word. Mine has been giving me the silent treatment and its been anything but silent its been so silent that its like he's been screaming at me. Well narc its silent now you just don't know it yet I know exactly what he's thinking when I'm ready for her again ill text her I love you possibly make an insurance payment with a visit and I'm in like flynn. I know this because the narc said many times I don't know how this will all play out but I know I'm not gonna leave you again I'm always gonna be part of your life. Translation: congrats sick of it you have made into my permanent secondary supply club. Aren't you excited?

#11 Nov 10 - 8PM (Reply to #7)

Briseis

There's something powerful

There's something powerful in the symbolism of blocking the Narc. Something that happens and resonates deep within. It turns out to be "more" than blocking him in the outer world (from FBing, texting, calling etc) it is the "inner blocking" that happens along with the outer. Maybe it's a little bit woo woo, but I believe it. If a person CAN block their Narc, but do not block him, then they simply don't WANT to block the Narc. If there is a will, there WILL BE A WAY. All the rest is bullshit. Sorry :( . That's why it is so powerful that you (SOI) and Positivefuture blocked your Narcs and just DID IT. You wanted to. You want him GONE. Deep down inside, the decision was made. It was simple, and obvious :) It's only complicated when you are on the fence.

#12 Nov 11 - 4AM (Reply to #8)

desprathousewife

Briseis

I have a confession to make, I havent blocked mine, from my phone, he doesnt have a computer. The ONLY reason I haven't is because of my RO, if he breaches the conditions and texts or rings me now I have evidence and could send him down, or at least back to court. I don't think he would dare but he has before and has had to suffer the consequences. So I'm wondering, should I block him anyway and let go of this little bit of power I have over him? I can't seem to decide which would work best. If he DID try and contact me via phone and found I'd blocked him, he may try and approach me instead and that would be a WAY scarier ordeal to have to contend with????

#13 Nov 10 - 3PM

enoughalready

julia29

Seriously, you need to block his name from your emails, txts, FB. Any contact from my XN just held me back and made me miserable. The only way to free yourself is completely block him so you can start to have peace and think more clearly. We want to feel wanted, needed and loved again, but not from a narcissist. Good for you for not replying to his email...whatever works for you to keep NC. The best revenge for a narcissist is NC. It'll drive them crazy. They hate to feel insignificant.... Enjoy the vine ( what is a vine?).

#14 Nov 10 - 3PM (Reply to #2)

julia29

Oh ;-) red wine... I have a

Oh ;-) red wine... I have a hotmail and don't know how to block him, I won't block him on FB, I guess I one day won't care, and if I block him now, I will only show him that I still think of him, won't give him that pleasure! I sure hope that me not answering that mail will drive him crazy... But not the quiet night I was hoping for.....

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews