Not Going Back & Riding the Coaster
Not Going Back & Riding the Coaster
Hi
Thank you all for your helpful comments to me yesterday. I had a bit of a melt down and I think I am riding the roller coaster of up and down emotions, certainty and self doubt and love and hate.
I found my clarity yesterday thankfully and sobered up for my fantasy world thoughts that somehow I could go back to him and we could have the same relationship we shared pre-coworker cheating incident.
But as much as I tried to find the info to support that idea, I just couldn't. Most of what I found only added to the list of Cons to going back and risking my heart again. It was just too painful and too risky to do.
So I snapped out it! the lovey idea that our love is strong enough to hold us - love isn't enough. I had some great advice from so many of you and hurt a members feelings unintentionally - I am not hear to fight with anyone and send you all my support, I am soo sorry if any of my words were interpreted otherwise. I love you guys and didn't mean for that to happen.
Staying Strong's post of "What if he isn't a narcissist?" was powerful to read yesterday. I was particularly helped by these words as I was struggling to 'find an answer' I realized I had already found my answer months ago -- and allowing him to get close to me is what brought on the imbalance and doubt.
The more NC the better I feel, no denying that. I have made the decision to keep NC and no more contemplating go back to him.
this part of her post helped me:
So, forget whatever “nice” things your ex has done. A bad person will fake “nice” in order to get what he wants…..a TRULEY nice person though, would never subject you to abuse and make you question your sanity (and I’m not referring to one or two isolated incidents during an argument where someone calls you a ‘meanie-weanie fart face’ or some other name.....I’m talking about consistent abuse: lying, withholding, manipulating, undermining, belittling emotional abuse, with or without physical force ). Those that resort to this behaviour are NOT SINCERELY NICE PEOPLE. Nice people don’t behave this way.
and
If someone is making you insane by making your mind try and reconcile two very different ideas concerning them....BELIEVE THE BAD
**
Thank you ALL for reaching out to me and reminding me that I can do this and why I need to do it.
I really appreciate all of you and I have found a new clarity in my choice and I felt so off but now I am more committed to having MY TIME away from him
I realize it hasn't even been 2 weeks time that I could be away from him without interference just for my self to think.
Thanks for sticking with me through a really hard day!
I will check in next week!
thanks BB
I'm happy for you! Keep up
badabing
Used
Big hugs to you, Badabing!
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God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.
Good decision sweetheart,
Good decision sweetheart,
Bada, you are doing so