No Fairness, No closure

This is my first post so I hope this is on target and able to help others.

I'm the survivor of a five year marriage to an extreme NPD wife. This is not my opinion only as she was diagnosed independently by two successive marriage counselors. I was summarily dumped 5 months ago and found myself and my son on the streets with no place to go late at night. Suffice to say that my wife did all manner of atrocious things to me during our marriage.

I will post my story here soon, but I'm very down tonight and don't think I'd get through it. I've just learned some troubling news a few days ago. My ex, rather than suffer from what she did is at this moment off on a dream vacation to England.

So while I'm denying myself all material things my abuser who has done some very vile things to me and to my son is off having a great old time. I'm sure she is the life of the party and the envy of all of her relatives in England. Our daughter, my step daughter is taking her masters there in London. So it appears that she has fronted the air fare for mom and relatives are filling in the rest as my ex has no means with which to do this trip.

I don't have those kinds of connections, kids who will front me thousands and relatives in wonderful places that I can con. I guess I'm not naive enough to think that there's any justice in this world, but it still is a difficult thing to swallow. I don't want my ex to suffer, not at all. I feel sorry for her and I'm a very compassionate man. But it's not like I wanted her to walk away, no consequences and run off to exotic adventures.

I know an NPD woman or man for that matter will never accept any responsibility or give us victims any closure. I've read all of the books and written on blogs and boards, even drafted a post graduate curriculum for students studying NDP. But underneath all of that I'm still a sensitive man that's been deeply hurt and in the process of recovery. It still hurts to live with the devastation that she has caused me and watch her globetrotting around on dream vacations while I sit alone and suffer the consequences she left me with.

Forgive my venting, I'm not usually this gloomy. God Bless you all.