no contact wobble

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#1 May 17 - 2PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

no contact wobble

Why would i wake up and just want to talk to him today ... i didnt but no contact was nearly broken, i wanted to just ask him why ? why everything .
I know i cant talk to him , i know it would be like pulling my own eye out with a fork . dam it i miss him .
Just to recap . im doing no contact because ... please fill in the gaps for me , i need some suport .
Scoop x

May 17 - 9PM
Amazed
Amazed's picture

Because you want to prove something with him?

What would you like to say to him? What a jackass he is, what a lying son of gun he has been for doing this to you, and you know better now? Many woman are re-conned by the same man. Like conned out of money conned, losing their house, losing their family, losing their sanity,,and they go back. People "on the outside" see what a terrible mistake they are making. If you are looking for satisfaction, you will not find it. If you are looking for love, you will not find it. If you are looking to regress, and self destruct, I hope you have a good support system that is stronger than what you have now, because you are in for a real surprise.
May 18 - 3AM (Reply to #8)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Yes i am looking for

Yes i am looking for satisfaction , to even up the score , i am soooo angry , by contacting him though will just prove to him i am still in love with him , i know this . I know silence is the only weapon i have left . funny though one of his friends text me last night and it said "are you still alive" i didnt answer it . Its like i get these days when i am so pissed off i want to tell him , i want to put the rants in my head out there to him , i have some good ones , i have been working on for almost a year now i think i could deliver them with skill .... i wont i hear your guys . Thank you for your suport sisters and brother .It was touch and go yesterday . Scoop x
May 18 - 8AM (Reply to #9)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Scoop

NOTHING absolutely ZERO of anything you could, would or even should be able to say to these NON-HUMAN CREATURES makes a bit of difference -- or even bothers them. They see it as ATTENTION - that you STILL CARE enough to tell them off. Save it. He's not worth a bit of it and none of it will make a dent anyway. And you'll be further back in your healing again. ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 17 - 4PM
herlatestvictim
herlatestvictim's picture

if his lips are moving, he is lying!

Why try to get answers or have a conversation when he is not capable or willing to tell the truth. Lying is like breathing to these NPD mental cases... you would be better off writing a letter to yourself and answering it with what you wish he would say. He won't say what you need to hear... he will lie. Lie. Lie.
May 17 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
Monica
Monica's picture

Herlatestvictim..you are SO right

I once overheard a coworker telling my xN/P.."If it's coming out of your mouth, it's a lie." My xN/P had just asked this guy, "Why don't you believe me?" That was the coworker's response. And my coworkers didn't know HALF of the lies my xN/P was telling them! They weren't smart enough to figure out all the other stuff and do the research to show what he was telling them were lies. It sort of cracks me up. He was telling me about a property (rental house) he owned in another city. He gave me the address and saw that I wrote it down and confirmed the address with him again. He confirmed. When he left the office that day, I looked up the property on Live Search. It was a vacant parking lot! I also looked it up in the city property records. He didn't even own that property, or anything in that entire block! No house, no ownership. He had even described the house as having a front porch. The few houses in that block did not have porches. He lied about this crap all the time. My coworker was right. If it was coming out of his mouth, it was a lie. If they lie about this stuff, the will never tell us the truth about anything. I like your letter idea. That is the closest any of us would get to the truth...if WE answered our own questions of "why??" They lie about everything.
May 17 - 3PM
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Be tough girl!

We've all had days like that (in the beginning, not anymore!). I promise you, it'll get alot better! My exN & I had so much in common. I was even low maintenance...he had it made! And even then, that wasn't good enough! He still wasn't happy! When I felt weak & wanted to call him, I would read everybody's comments on here & especially read the medical information (over & over!). I think knowing that there's something wrong with his head makes it a little easier to accept their jacked up behavior...They are freakin' defected!!! Its not us, its them that are damaged! We're good...they are just too stupid to know it! The urge will pass...Make yourself think of something else! :)
May 17 - 3PM
broken23
broken23's picture

because no matter how many

because no matter how many times you ask why there will be nothing he says that will actually answer it lets face it he is not about to tell you...i was wrong, i know i hurt you, and i will forever apologize for making your life hell!
May 17 - 3PM
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

scoop

..because talking to him is really talking to a fake person who, no matter what he says, does not care about anyone but himself. You'll be repeating the same patterns with him soon enough, and this time it would be likely to hurt more, be harder, and you'll be kicking your own but much worse that the last time for getting involved with something you knew was unhealthy, not real, and a temporary band-aid only for a time when you were feeling lonely for companionship. Times I had like this, I'd actually run the 'encounter' through in my head, the story always had a dead end, and I knew I'd be only kidding myself.
May 17 - 3PM
nhtmf
nhtmf's picture

SCOOP

You are doing NC for you only. Remember that vortex, the abyss, Alice's rabbit hole..........You definately don't want to go there again. Hang in because you most certainly will have many weak days but more days of being strong and narc free are in your future. Oh, and yeah, it would be like pulling your eyeball out with a fork and jabbing a knife into the wound. Don't do it woman...............Hugs & Strength