No-contact is bliss!!!!

My goodness I never realised how wonderful and healing and empowering it could be to finally get No contact...
Ok I am not strictly no contact (though I wish I was) because I have a child with him but these days that have gone by whereby he is not in my life and we are separate people I am flying. My son is happier and more compliable. The house stays clean more often (except for my wily 4 year old antics) and its great. I have done loads of the dropping off and picking up which makes my life more tricky but the extra half hour journey to town is easier than having him in my space. He came here yesto to get a delivery I accepted for him. We were arguing within 10 minutes because he had discovered all his things packed into boxes... But really??? Did he really expect to move in with someone else and then for me to just leave his stuff as it was for him to come and sort out at his leisure.. Yea right??? He really is on drugs... I tried to calm it down and he was edgy and spiky. I realised how toxic he is. He can just come in my space and in seconds make me feel utterly dark inside.

I glowed afterwards though, because I knew that he had moved on with OW and I was not the object of either his desire, fantasy anymore and more over the object of his abuse and tyranny.
I don’t know how long he will go on supporting me with money for the mortgage etc but one thing is for sure. I am loving the limited contact. I am just so much happier all the time... I never knew this kind of peace existed in me..

I hadn’t realised that I did find it hard to let him go at first and I sent him a stupid bunch of long texts which he rebuffed as annoying and irritating. (I mean I am the one texting him and he is saying nothing) (DUMB) I think that this is my brains need to contextualise it all. But we shall never hear form then the sorry or receive their recognition of the abuse we endured. They will always project blame onto us and we shall never be appeased. They will go about their new relationship and for that time they will be happy that you are gone and I should be making the most of the silence and calm right now while he has a better supply. Because I bet when they are done he will be back for another round in the ring of confusion and madness.

But right now in the moment. I am safe in my own skin. I have my home, my job, my son, my life and I love it..
No contact is indeed bliss...