No contact and severing ties. the logistics of having children with a narc. Light please??

Its not easy if you have complete severing of ties.
But Its positively the only goal.
These people who have little or not empathy have no idea how to compromise or how to empathise.
SO your needs as a parent or as a human will mean nothing to them.
What you might need, if it has any consequence to them, will only be given with conditions and as bargaining chips for what they can get from you.
I was 'Allowed' certain time to persue my martial arts. now the prick has said I can no longer have the Sunday to train. I dont go out drinking or partying. I work and mother and thats the top and bottom of it. I have one passion. Tai chi/Kung Fu. 2 classes a week on whoch he has our son at his house. he says I can no longer have this because it doesn't suit his agenda.

He cant drain me or hurt me like he used to so he has to find something he can still hurt me with by saying he can longer have our son on the only weekend day I ask him to have him. We co-parent because our son goes to Steiner. Another misatke I made with him. Sadly my son loves his school. But I gave up yet more of my freedom to narc by chooosing that, because its only three short mornings. and the narc pays the bill. (well so long as his hooky work doesn't fall form under him which I blieve it will) And he thinks that he does enough to have him while I am working.

So where does this take me now???
I have to find resources.
I hate him right now.
I didnt even reply to his long dumb e-mail.
Asking me to hurry up and get on with our divoirce and that he will continue to pay me money if I assume major parental responsability.
I have to get NO CONTACT...
There is no safe or limited contact with this type of person.
Every time they give you a little rope, they pull it back again, they tell you you can have a little more rope and then when your not looking they use the same rope to hang you with.
They are dangerous and NOTHING to MOURN.
I DO NOT MISS MY EX NARC ONE BIT!
He is truly dark and miserable inside.
he know Tai chi is propelling my healing and he can use that knowledge to completely cut me off from the light he is jelous and envious off in me.
I dont what to hate but I do hate right now.

Qing Yuan's picture

he just sent me a text to say to stop dressing his son in old clothes else it be I drop him to him first so that he can change his clothes to take him out for the day. I should have ignored him but I sent a text back. I know I should have igniored him.. I tried to fight my corner to say that I put on the first clothes that came out of the basket and that I had to be at work for 8.30. I drop our son at my friends house becasue he is always late. So it takes me half hour beforeI have to go to work. he is a dick. Co-parentign with a stupid freak is hard work... :(
TraumaMamma's picture

I wish I could tell you things will improve, but the only way I have found to co-parent with mine is to let him get his way. He had me over a barrel financially, I am putting myself thru RN school and he is a cop. (Go read my story under my profile..he is not my last N) I just had an incident this week. Usually things go pretty smooth. My adult daughter, her husband and my grandson (not his chldren at all, his previous step daughter) were in a car accident when her husband fell asleep on the way to go to a funeral of their dear friend, who died unexpectedly who was in their wedding. (She had osteogenisis Imperfecta) They could have died. 10G of damage...hit a guardrail...hwy patrol said extremely lucky. Blew out two tires, bent frame, etc.... I called my younger children, to tell them that their sister and bro in law and nephew were in an accident and WERE OK!!!! Narc had a SHIT FIT that I called my kids and didn't tell him first, that I upset my kids. Huh...I thought they were my kids too. They weren't home at the time, they were upset. I reiterated that EVERYONE WAS OK and they couldn't make it to their friends funeral, but all was ok.... But ya know...you just cannot take away every right of mine. I miss every Prom, Dance, I don't get notifications of pictures of school, or field trips that I could go on, etc. I get fucked at every single turn while the mistress/stepmnother has overstepped her bounds. I have taken the high road at every single turn. It's a painful road to go. I don't envy anyone entering into it. I pray for the end of their childhood. I've hardly been a part of it. It's been an enormous cross to bear that I shoulder nightly.

Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.' --Mary Anne Radmache

Littleone's picture

Ugh, I can relate to this. I coparent with an n. Give a bit and they take a mile. I play hard ball though, I make the rules. There must be some way around it. He's just doing it to be difficult. Is there another club who trains on different nights?