No closure

No one seems to understand... especially coming from a bloke... 'oh well when you get a new girlfriend she'll be history' 'You can't just hang labels on people' "you have to take some responsibilty in a failing relationship' just some of the stuff people have been coming back to me with. God people just don't understand. But I don't expect them too. I just say You weren't in the relationship, i lived with her, i had to put up with the self loathing, the silences, the secretiveness, the controlling, and then eventually the DD. God trying to make sense of it is just a mind f**k! Because you think, why? Well there is no why... she just isn't wired like we are i suppose.

it's deeply embarrassing because people don't understand that this kind of behavior happens.

I had to cancel movers, send back my wedding dress, cancel wedding plans, find a new place to live, cancel a lease, help find new tenants... I was embarrassed,shocked,stupified...OMG!!! Have not seen him since he broke our engagement over the phone 7 days before I was supposed to move. I was in shock for at least a month...just could not believe it. Can you say COWARD? Had to tell my family and friends...still get messages on FB asking "have you gotten married yet"? Geez. My father will not even let me say his name anymore...we call him the Disordered One. What a total mind f*ck!

I was too ashamed to talk about my D&D with my parents when it happened a decade ago... and I've still been too embarrassed to talk about it to this day. My ex-P professor made a point of making the D&D as publicly humiliating as possible- from reducing me to tears in front of everyone (which really made HIM look like the bad guy) to showing off his new girlfriend (who oddly looked like me) I felt abused and humiliated... especially since my mother, a psychology major, was the one who noted that he was a Psych (instead of a garden variety Narc) I was accustomed to bullies in high school I'd simply avoid... and my ex-P was the complicated one, since he acted as if he LIKED me. He played the role of a mentor. I defended his atrocious behavior because he was a teacher. How many students expect teachers to emotionally abuse them, terrorize them, and make them feel drained? My ex-P turned my D&D into a public shaming. How fitting, he was from New England, the setting of the Scarlet Letter. He wanted to make a lesson out of me. I was a student who cared about him (most were creeped out by his lack of emotion)--and I had hell to pay. He wanted to see me broken,damaged, and when he sabotaged my teaching job.. that was ruthless. My parents NEVER liked my ex-P. They wondered what I saw in him. It was my mother who suspected that his quick changes of emotion were unconvincing. He'd go from stabbing in the back (when I was in one of his classes freshman year) to praising me to my face. He started with the D&D, then put me on the pedestal. I see it as an embarrassing episode from my past. I dealt with bullies in high school... but my ex-P made them look like lovey dovey flower children in comparison.