New to NC and feeling...magenta

I'm brand new to the forum and feeling kinda crazy because after the brutal discard I experienced last Sunday (what other kind is there?) ...I woke up today and found myself wanting to call him...Why oh Why!?!... my logical mind knows I cannot polish a turd! And then of course I felt crazy for wanting to because I know from recent and repeated experience that in doing so, giving into that compulsion, I'd have likely gone away feeling worse. Okay, more like certainly ...and to feel worse....I really,really can't bear right now! I held on all day by a thread, could have easily given in, but first I picked up my home a bit for it was looking as cluttered as the inside of my head, I went to yoga class...I practice hot yoga and I kept imagining sweating out a toxin when I couldn't stop thinking about the N and calling...I just felt so off kilter but I rode it out and the urge passed...I DID NOT call him! I'm posting here instead and cannot yet express how grateful I am to have found this community in my time of need. AH, Sundays...