The new me.. like it or not... :-)

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#1 Sep 3 - 8PM
Healingslowly_b...
Healingslowly_but getting there's picture

The new me.. like it or not... :-)

The new 'me' that has come out of this experience is very very different than the 'me' I have been for the last 17 years since I went through marriages. My first marriage was to a very angry man, not a narc but an aggressive man who couldn't cope with three little boys under 6 and left me for someone else.
My second marriage was a short one to the narc, 10 months to be precise before the mask slipped and well, you know the rest. Anyway since then I've been through counselling to understand what happened and why and more recently have been back to counselling to improve my self esteem and to let go of the past and concentrate on building up my future. It's been working and I feel very empowered and ready to tackle the world head on now.
My best friend of 30 years says that I am now as positive as I was in my early 20s!!
What I'm finding strange is that some of the people I have met and made friends with over the past few years , maybe the last ten years are not accepting the new stronger me , they seemed to prefer the subservient agreeable me who would tolerate anything. Recently I have stood up for myself regarding a situation that arose with a friends husband writing some awful things about me on fb because I had removed him quietly as a friend due to not liking some of the things he was posting. I have been amazed at how people have reacted to me about the way I stood my ground and confronted the bullying. Some ignored me, some pretended not to notice what had happened, some stuck up for the guy and said he was joking!!
I chose to reduce on fb the connection I have with these 'friends' and just carried on with life, not really caring whether they are part of it or not.
People just don't like it. One girl who I really thought was a friend has been particularly mean and last night, after not contacting me for a while, she contacted me to say hi and that she was worried about me as she thought I was in a dark place and not coping with life well. Haha!! How wrong of her!
It's easier for these people to think we are going through a rough crazy time and that's why we are reacting the way we are to things as opposed to believing and accepting that we just aren't going to put up with any bs from anyone anymore.
The jealousy in her writing last night was obvious and it might sound harsh but I don't care anymore. I said that I wasn't going to chat over fb and that I will be available to talk on the phone should she wish to talk properly tomorrow.
The freedom of indifference has affected my whole life. I'm still me, the caring, compassionate , loving woman that I have always been but people are learning very quickly that I just won't tolerate bad treatment of any kind now.
I like the new me and so do many many of my real friends so that's all that matters and I'll handle anyone who doesn't like it. Delete and block and not a glance backwards.
I wish I'd had the knowledge and strength to always be this way.

There is certainly a light at the end of the healing tunnel
X

Sep 9 - 11AM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

You always were this way, you

Sep 9 - 9AM
jackguy
jackguy's picture

good for you

Sep 4 - 4PM
WhiteSwan44
WhiteSwan44's picture

Love this!

Sep 4 - 3PM
tootsgee
tootsgee's picture

I like!

Sep 4 - 1PM
thebigpayback
thebigpayback's picture

it is sometimes jokingly

Sep 4 - 8AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

The old you would have been

Sep 4 - 8AM (Reply to #10)
Janie53
Janie53's picture

Hunter

Sep 4 - 6AM
ItsFinallytime
ItsFinallytime's picture

Love this!! There's a saying

Sep 4 - 6AM
Used
Used's picture

healing

Sep 3 - 9PM
SunshineandLight
SunshineandLight's picture

I like the new you! I am

Sep 3 - 9PM
shock and awe.some
shock and awe.some's picture

Isn't it strange that so many

Sep 3 - 9PM
outoftheashes
outoftheashes's picture

100% agree!

Sep 3 - 8PM
Janie53
Janie53's picture

Healing

Sep 3 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
Healingslowly_b...
Healingslowly_but getting there's picture

Thank you lovely Janie. Your

Sep 4 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
spinning
spinning's picture

Healing, my sweet!!!! This post

spinning