new financial offer from CF

How do you even know that you were talking to a financial advisor? I wouldn't put anything past CF. He is trying to upset you and make you agree to some crazy arrangements to save his own butt! Liquidating the children's college fund is THE LAST thing you would do. All assets should be frozen at this point and NOTHING should be liquidated until you agree on the property settlement with your attorney. Mediation only works when you are dealing with a normal, rational person, NOT with a Narc!

Is he wanting to pretend thats "help from him"? That freakin idiot! You wouldn't have to get on food stamps if he took care of his responsibilities! When he is old & has one foot in the ground no one is going to give a holy crap about him cos he's been such a lousy husband, father, probably brother & everything else possible! Karma! Karma! Karma!

Fortunately for you, you will never understand 'what is up'. Why? Because YOU ARE NORMAL! He does not think you are as smart as you are. That's fine. No response. Remember, he is only trying to benefit himself- at all times. He thinks you don't know that. Moron. Forget the chicken he's screwing himself! http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview nolongercontrolled

Definitely don't move a muscle w/o a lawyer. He's definitely up to something and it's definitely for his benefit. The social security thing - maybe if you get that, it will decrease his child support burden? Has to be something like that. Also make sure you keep every detail of every offer he makes. Could be very useful for you later. Some of the stuff my STBX has said will probably be his undoing.

I know that in the UK if it's his name on the mortgage then he is liable to pay the mortgage. For him to say he is only paying a month is ludicrous, it's his mortgage. He's playing massive bullying tactics here. If he doesn't pay the mortgage the mortgage company will go after him and make him pay, he will get bad credit and not be able to purchase another property. He makes me puke, just like my ExN who tried all this stuff, non of which worked for him. Don't listen to his lies any more.

Divorces are very emotional experiences for women but for men it can be a financial disaster. They do a lot of wheeling and dealing behind the lawyer's backs trying to get a 'deal' that they think benefits them. I do not think anyone going through a divorce should make their offers known to the party they are divorcing and not through the lawyers. the social security issue is interesting sounding but does not support your needs in the present and near future. Also it isn't what he wants it is what is best for your children. He might start to do contract work that doesn't have a social security benefit. You can never negotiate the terms of your own divorce with a man like that. He is offering this, that, and bit of this other thing. You have to have a clear settlement that your lawyer participates in. If this man dies your children will get Social Security benefits until they are 18. What about alimony? If you are in the house he is using that as leverage to get you to sign-he will stop paying the mortgage in one month is not an option for him. In many states he has to maintain the family home until the last child is 16 years old. The monetary part of a divorce is tricky and you don't have to worry about understanding his offer your divorce lawyer needs to receive the information so that he can sort it out and see what is to your benefit, what has been left out, what is not relevant, etc. When the divorce is final do your best to get what you need to find a job even if it is a part-time job. In a divorce the working partner can be made to pay alimony and child support for a period of time until the non-working partner takes classes or job training. One famous case in California the ex wife went to San Francisco State for a degree, as part of her divorce, and would switch majors right before graduation. She managed to do this for 18 years and was a bit of a folk legend. She had a good lawyer. She did eventually finish forced by the court and was graduated in pre-law and then went to law school. She became a very good divorce lawyer herself! By applying for food stamps you get into the welfare system and they do have resources for job training. I don't recommend that as it is a tough way to go. You also have to buy the food stamps if you are not receiving a check. this is all new territory for you and you are confused. The rule of thumb is don't talk settlement behind your lawyer's back. If it was a good deal he would have made his settlement offer to your lawyer-not to you. This is not a time to be trusting. If this guy was trustworthy you would still be married.

Okay Mallory, I have two friends who went through divorces recently, and their experiences may help you. One of my friend's ex-husbands declared bankruptcy about a year after their divorce was final. While they were still married, he put several pieces of property in her name, took out loans and forged her signature, etc. Luckily, she had a good attorney who found most of this out during financial disclosure, but it really could have ruined her financially. Another friend was paid a lump sum up front at the divorce but now doesn't receive child support. She is pretty much screwed financially and is marrying another jerk probably because he makes a good income. With your children being so young, it would be much better for you to receive child support every month until they are 18. That way, you are guaranteed a monthly income. Just make sure that your attorney writes in things like orthodontics and college, if you can get it. As far as Social Security goes, I'm not sure that it is worth delaying the divorce for. If that is all he has to try to entice you, he knows you have the upper hand. Get sole custody if you can, child support, and just walk away from the house. It sounds like you already did! He knows that he is on a sinking ship and he WILL try to take you down with him.

NO MORE RESPONDING TO HIM he KNOWS he's upsetting you don't ask him sh*t NADA!!! Did you ever stop to think these offers are another way of hurting you and CAUSING CONTACT???? No more mallory. NO MORE. he doesn't care about anyone but himself. AT ALL. ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website

It's just plain insulting at this point. Since when does he give a flip about the kids?? If he did, he wouldn't be spending ONE DIME on the gf or her kids...not to mention all of those lovely get-aways they've had?? Who does he think he's kidding at this point, I mean really?? Wow, it's amazing the thought he puts into trying to SCREW YOU OVER, isn't it? They aren't stupid, just totally sick and evil. "Is he genuine about protecting the kids"? What do you think mallory?? I agree with Barbara, forget the SS deal, try to go for spousal support and or damages. Your name is not on the deed or mortgage?? Then it's not your house. But this is something you need to discuss with your lawyer. If you have to move, better that than have to be connected to him because you're living in his house. What's up is MORE BS, and every time he sends you one of these deals, he's working on you...that's why you're here asking us, otherwise, you'd just roll your eyes and send to your lawyer. Mallory, you have the upper hand here, girl...use that power, stay tough.

FOOD STAMPS???? Because he's looking to screw you! These guys ALWAYS screw up and tip their hand... that did it for me. Delay? why? SS? Bullshit - he's delaying because he's playing games and trying to control. Whatever pension he had at his last job(s) - you're owed from those you know!! Soc. Security? Forget that!! And was the underlying message in that bit about paying your rent for a year - that AFTER a year you're ON YOUR OWN? How you lived with this psychopathic con artist for 5 minutes I do not know. He'd better sign NOW. And give you sole custody and take supervised visitation. Send this to your lawyer. He's playing games. Hadn't he already stopped paying the mortgage? Wasn't he using marital funds to pay his f*ckbuddy's bills? BTW - where's that LAWYER he kept THREATENING to hire??? GAMES GAMES GAMES HE's NEVER NEVER NEVER NOT PLAYING GAMES, mallory. EVER! GAME OVER CF! ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website