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need some advice or tactics

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#1 Mar 18 - 8AM
bitterdestiny
bitterdestiny's picture

need some advice or tactics

Ok so I'm at the stage this is all becoming a dream I'm forgetting things places even how he looks. Which would be ok but I've known I have ptsd so for me its not good my brain is blocking it all like it never happened. Which will land me with another one I've been playing this game since I was 15 not necessarily with N's but sick f**ks in my life the cheaters liars abusers you name it. Well its time to stop I don't want my 2 boys thinking that's how you treat women. So how do I actually deal with this?

Mar 18 - 11AM
herlatestvictim
herlatestvictim's picture

trust your instincts

I am dealing with the same thing in therapy. I can spot the sicko in the room and the sicko can spot me! When your gut tells you something is wrong, move away from the object of your desire! I am trying to give the people that I would normally not find interesting a chance. Those people are normal, health (and to me boring) but if you want to break the cycle, you have to stop dealing with the same kind of people. I'm not ready to deal with anyone at this point, but that's my future approach.
Mar 20 - 2AM (Reply to #6)
wallaby (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Same for me

I recently realized its always been this way -always end up with the N's - some worse behaved and more damaging than others - but its my pattern. I am also going Herlatestvictim's route. NO MEN. I finally realize I am so damaged by 2 N parents, I have not a clue how to find an appropriate man, be attracted to them and behave like normal people do in relationships. SO I've sworn off them for at least 18 months (and N healing time) and I know this will be best for my kids too. I suggest maybe see what it feels like to be just you in the world - wholly you - not reacting to some N. I hate that these are the men I'm always drawn to. Sucks. DONT want my beautiful sensitive girl to model after that and do the same thing (her dad is N). I know at least my son is not an N - such a sweetie he is. Good luck Bitterdestiny - at lest you are getting help and recognizing what PTSD is and does and your patterns. That is great!
Mar 18 - 8AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

counseling... NOW

A TRAUMA COUNSELOR... ASAP ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims
Mar 18 - 9AM (Reply to #2)
bitterdestiny
bitterdestiny's picture

Already there, but what can

Already there, but what can I do on a daily basis for myself?
Mar 20 - 2AM (Reply to #4)
rache
rache's picture

One thing

QUIT thinking of a ~MAN`until you do the work on you.Married men,men who have Gf's but flirt,those are just the obvious A**HOLES.
Mar 18 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

bitterdestiny

have you read the book - HOW TO SPOT A DANGEROUS MAN and done the workbook? It may give you great pointers to work on. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims