Need help please,is my girlfriend Narcissistic?
Need help please,is my girlfriend Narcissistic?
Hello i'm AXL 22 years old,it's my first time on the Forums heard lots about this forum in general,i really need your help guys.
Okey so i wanna sum up what exactly happened with my 20 years old girl friend,which we started talking on Facebook.
It all started with a random girl like bombed my pictures and one day i decided to pm her,she was kinda hot looking in general look wise i look better then her and i'm slightly more social then she is.
We head a long Convo and everything was clicking so good,she shared my interests,music everything,and i could say that i'm an Empath i like connecting with woman mentally also i care about that more than her looks or just a one night stand thingie.
So we keep't up with the convos and stuff she would pm me everyday,started to care about me stuff like that telling me how great you are basically putting me on Pedestal with one word.
She head some serious insecurities doe and she shared everything:Afraid of man telling me that they use woman just for a one night stand,she cares more about the character then looks bla bla bla,also one more thing she was really Sexual which is a red flag i think,after we continued the convos she keept going deeper sending me pictures asking me where i was what i'm doing etc bla bla around 12 hours a day none stop pm's,basically she tried to gain my trust i think.
Note:She would burn sexually one day and then tomorrow tell me i'm not a bitch i could not control myself maybe we should not talk anymore,as i see this is a narcisstic game to gain trust or something or gain control,i keept telling her i accept you the way you are.
She also keept telling me good things don't last for long,everything that's good will end one day,and i told her it does not need to end whatever i said i'll prove it to you with actions,i'm a man of less talk more action she was amazed everyday pm's etc.
So we meet up head sex everything was clicking she told me i can't live without you,i feel so lucky that you pmed me,you have such a pure character combined with good looks,i think the whole day every minute for you,you bother my mind a lot etc.
She keept crying on the phone when she told me she was feeling pain and head no idea why she was feeling pain,seeing spiders,the void the black hole she feels hurt,as i'm reading thos are the narcissist PD traits.
Her mom and father are around 33years old and she is 20 imagine how early she was born and her father basically home prisoned her told her all the guys are the same so she does not get pregnant,she told me they never respect my privacy etc,also a big red flag she hates he little sister and brother ignoring them hates kids on general.
So we keept clicking for around 2 months or more meeting having fun her telling me all tho's sweet stuff etc your the best thing that happened in my life,for a moment i really thought i found my soul mate,it was just everything was so perfect no games no nothing,i told her also that i can be my full self 100% with you no problem.
She is really addictive to stuff if it is offered drugs or alcohol which was a red flag also,very suicidal i saved her life 3 times,once her cat jumped out of the window she called me at 5 am i went to her home she was about to kill herself,she once almost got raped from a guy which she was drunk on a party i went there almost fucked the guy up and she hugged me it was the best hug till this day i received and a bunch of other times.
So we basically shared everything it was like a Miracle that happened in my life she was starting the Uni 1st year Psychology i'm one exam away from finishing Physical Therapy.
So after the second month in between the third things started to go downwards,she started to withdraw i think she was entering the Discard phase never initiated contact herself all the attention was erased so i got in the panic mode,and i pmed her myself everytime,she would show the same validation only decrease the convo's and leave in the middle of the convo disrespecting me and waiting for my reactions.
Did this for the past 1 week and it really got me pissed so i decided to talk to her,she told me nothing was wrong she just does not feel that much talkative she feels tired but she cant sleep and does not care about anything including her health just wants to hang out on her computer,i knew something was up she was online the whole time probably talking to other guys from my back i tried to be positive about it.
This continued same leaving the convos in the middle trying to get a reaction out of me etc,plain using me or planing for the Discard plan,one day i decided to remove all the emotional validation and ended the convo first trying to see how she will react,she told me love you babe i told her i need to do sth take care and left the convo,then she pm's me and provokes me with a picture of my old girlfriend sending me a pic of a little girl my girlfriend was ginger and i like wearing bandanna so the little girl was a ginger with a bandanna telling me it's your girl with your old girl friends,probably trying to get a reaction out of it,i laughed my ass and told her your jokes are killing me,and she told me she is sexier than your old girl friend.
So basically she keept decreasing everything and removed the emotional validation when i told her that i love you and only you i don't care about anyone else what's wrong with you,then she goes on attack mood telling me you don't understand me bla bla bla i told her i always listened and understood then told me i been talking to much people lately it's not just you imagine i don't feel talkative,she lied basically the first time told me she does not talk to anyone.
Everytime basically she gave me no specific answer leaving me hanging it's not you etc,and 0 emotional validation then it was it where i snapped and i decided to talk to her now listen carefully.
I pm her and ask her whats up for the last time,she goes like why are you so much overthinking stuff it's not good for you,you know?Imagine now trying to make me look crazy she was the one crying for months on the phone overthinking every stuff,and i included the love part of her being emotionless and showing no emotions at all,she ignores the question every time and answers just the part she likes.
So basically i told her listen it's a really simple question:Do you love me feel the things you feelt before or not?She goes like can we just change the topic speak something normal without questions?I'm like WTF why are you not answering the question,now i broke her boundaries by pressuring her i guess,she goes like I don't know what to say i don't really know and gets super pissed.
Basically she tried to Stonewall me the dirty way by giving no answers leave me hanging and Gas Lighten me by telling me it's not like your saying your overthinking nothing is wrong with me basically make me doubt myself a bunch of times,giving no love no affection.
She also told me how awesome she is,when she firstly came in the Uni guys were staring at her,she looks awesome,talking in a sarcastic way,keeping that high self esteem and when i told her what's up with that high self esteem she told me you must be insane i never have a high self esteem,telling me how guys look at her stuff like that.
So i went NC for my own sanity nothing from her,the last message of me was like if you want sth with me then drop me a pm like in old times till then peace up,and she goes like whatever dude no more babes etc in a cold way.
So okey from this what i understand is she started with 3 phases of abuse:Pedestal,Devalue and Discard,there was no love included from the start i guess she just used me as a supply and moved on i guess.
I was really hurt at the first month lost weight etc but i swore to myself i wont break the NC and i didn't,she keeps posting pictures on her Facebook looking all happy commenting on people being really nice to anyone,and changed 180 degree with me,i guess she got bored of the supply i gave her,she also told me once i'm bored,every last word of hers was a Manipulation and a Lie i also told her that but i keept feeling for her at that time so intense i didn't say anything to her that might hurt her,it's like she changed 180degree and i got caught on the illusion of her old self trying to search for that old gurl which never existed.
She was also uncontrolable sexually kissing girls in the middle of the road acting like a bisexual.
So the question for you guys is:Is she narcissistic,it has been a month nothing from her,was this all a game from the start i mean how can someone change this fast and not care she lied manipulated and didn't care a normal girl would have not done this without even feeling a bit hurt after all tho's times.
I feel like taking a revenge but going to wait till she pm's?Another question do they tend to get back so at least i can get my revenge by telling her that she has NPD and freak her out,and breaking her boundaries by pointing her lies and how hurt she is from inside?
And one more question if i post a picture with my old girl friend on Facebook how will they react will they get jealous and start to hoover?
I'm so sorry for keeping this post so long it's my first time and i'm hopeless.