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Need advice ..do i fight or not?

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#1 Mar 1 - 7PM
matahari
matahari's picture

Need advice ..do i fight or not?

I received my divorce documents from my lawyer today and am divorcing him on the grounds of unresonable behaviour and am not going for anything major even though I know he left me for another woman though he will not admit this as it would make him look bad. my N husband however is being an ass and keeps emailing me horrible stuff accusing me of terrible things I have not done. I caved in yesterday and replied and told him to NOT contact me again and that my lawyer is dealing with the matter. I am however sooo angry as i feel i have soo much to say to him regarding my horrible life with him and the awful accusations he has made but i know if i did it would fowl my NC. He owes me £68,000...the question is do I drag this on to get justice or do I just let it go..to think that i even have to deal with this is making me ill to the point i have had to go to the doctors today for extreme stress, my body seem to be shutting down and everytime I think about this I feel so weak i fall asleep, yesterday I could not get out of my car i fell asleep in the carpark for about 2 hrs my poor dog was trying to wake me up!!I feel so helpless as i am used to fighting my corner.If it wasnt for me he would have gone bust a long time ago and would certainly not be doing his PHD.What should I do ...any advice would help. thank you for reading my plight.xx

Mar 2 - 5PM
matahari
matahari's picture

Thank you

Mar 2 - 10AM
froggy
froggy's picture

Re Advice

Mar 2 - 3AM
sexy72
sexy72's picture

I'm thinking No Contact!

I'm thinking you should stick to NO CONTACT!!!! I know, as does everyone else on here, how damn hard this can be when you really have something to say and you know you are right and you have a legitimate arguement and reasons!!!! I am there right now...I mean it is 2:57 a.m. and I am up just boiling and my mind is racing just thinking of what I know my ExN needs to hear!!!! I keep stopping myself though over the past week and a half because everytime I have since we broke up the middle of August he has just cheated, led me on again, lied more, twisted my words, hurt me more, made me miserable by making me second guess myself...attacked my everything...I could go on and on!!!! These so called men don't change or learn or think they are ever wrong...they just are just plain evil!!!! I look back on how awful I feel after I contact him...maybe you should think back to how it made you feel...I am doing that right now...it helps remind me what everyone says on here...if we contact them first or answer them...they WIN...we can point out every flaw and they just can't see it, so they just get more supply from making us hurt with their insults and then ignoring us...why give them anything? I know I feel like I have to let my ExN know that I found out a few more huge lies about him, I mean HUGE!!!! But then I say to myself Why Bother???? We are all here for you...just get on here and vent, it helps others and it helps you too soooo much!!! This website helped me start figuring him out before he even dumped me, I think that it helped me start to take off his mask and he felt me seeing through him and he bolted...he turned on me 360 degrees in a matter of moments...I had NO idea who he even was, he is a Monster and I think that this is what we all deal with both while we are with them and when it is over! As we look back we see more red flags than ever before, we think to ourselves why didn't I listen to them? Why???? We saw them...I know I did...We are normal good people trying to make sense of the absolute senseless , so we beat ourselves up thinking we had to of done something...but we didn't, all we did was LOVE men and they took total advantage of Our kindness...I truly hope that time heals...I truly hope this for all of this, because I am having a very hard time lately...just like you should I say something or not??? It is soooo hard! Good Luck my friend!!!! Hugs!!! :)
Mar 1 - 10PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

you have traveled a long

you have traveled a long road. you are not alone, the best part of this experience is knowing what has happened and why. heal............that is what is important, welcome to the forum. i am so sorry that you are here. but we are here together. Hugs.
Mar 1 - 9PM
nextphase
nextphase's picture

Ask yourself

What are you really fighting for? Majority will agree that £68000 is a lot of money, but money comes and goes in life. Your mental and physical health is more important than any sum. Im guessing you know exactly what he will do, what moves he will make, if you do chose to fight. Do you want to deal with the fight? I dont think anyone can tell you fight him or dont fight him...that choice is only yours to make. I think the bigger fight that will reap the biggest reward in the end is keeping to NC, but thats me.