1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. NC sucks tonight

NC sucks tonight

15 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Oct 31 - 12PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

NC sucks tonight

I dont mind admitting this is a tough one tonight , there is a party and all my friends are going and i cant go because of nc with the narc . I have sat out partys before but it has never been as tough as this , i would give my right arm to go to this party Hallowine is like my christmas , i cant bear being in on my own this night but there is nothing to do because everyone is at the party ,,, including Dr guy who asked me to go but just cant , i made up an excuse and said im going somewhere else but im not i am staying in on my own .
I hate the narc , i have senced him all day in my head , he think i will be there .
I know its only a few hours to bed time , i have a beer in the fridge and good tv is on but man alive nc is hard tonight .

Nov 1 - 3PM
empty68
empty68's picture

Doesn't it make you sick..

when exN is out having all the fun with mutual friends, while we are left all alone? It really sucks...but you know what, better days are ahead who needs them. ```Live,Laugh,love```

```Live,Laugh,love```

Nov 1 - 1PM
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

I love Halloween like that

I love Halloween like that too and here I was all alone and feeling it every bit. Made caramel apple martinis, lit up the pumpkin and the rest of the decorations, answered the door, watched football, made a fire and then watched one of my favorite movies (Practical Magic) til 1. Was a lonely night. Woke up this morning thinking I'm going out there and find myself a man this week. Yeah, right. I am wondering tho, why do these friends continue to include the N when they know you won't come? almostlydia

almostlydia

Oct 31 - 4PM
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

Scoop

He will be expecting you to be there. This wasa really healthy choice. I'm happy for you, and I hope you get through the night with peace.
Oct 31 - 12PM
faithinthefuture
faithinthefuture's picture

scoop

I hope alls well with you today. Sorry you missed the party. N would've ruined it for you anyway. And hug yourself and be proud you didn't go. You are very strong!
Oct 31 - 3PM (Reply to #8)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

You say that i am strong but

You say that i am strong but i feel like im running away because i am weak and couldnt face the trauma of seeing him and god forbid him with ow .Surely strenght would be to face them all ? Remind me again on why i am exhibiting strenght ?
Oct 31 - 4PM (Reply to #11)
faithinthefuture
faithinthefuture's picture

scoop

briesis is right. It took more strength to recognize your feelings and what would come after than to go to the party. A few weeks ago I went to visit my daughter who lives in the same small town as the xN(600 miles away) and all I hoped for IF I saw him was to be able to walk away and not even acknowledge him. But..was going to go thru a drive-thru becuz I was starving and saw his truck. I wasn't even really sure it was his but I hid in my car behind a bush until he pulled forward and then I left w/o getting anything to eat. I was petrified to see him or him to see me. I hid for gods sake! If I would've had any balls I would've pulled right up behind him & gotten my food and said f!u! but I didn't. I left with my body shaking and then couldn't eat becuz my nerves were shot! I felt like a coward. I thought about it and realized I am a person WITH feelings and couldn't act like he would've. So it was better I left w/o him seeing me. There will come a day you will be able to go to a party that he's at and not have a care in the world that he's there. But for now your instincts are telling you and you're listening...that's a very good thing...it's about protecting yourself. It has nothing to do with being weak.
Oct 31 - 4PM (Reply to #9)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

((((Scoop)))))

It's ironic. You are exhibiting great strength when you make HARD decisions to take care of yourself. It takes great strength to be honest with yourself, enough to know that you just can't maintain NC and go to this party. It's the same kind of strength you use to deny yourself a cigarette or a high calorie food when you're on a diet. It will "feel good" to give in (for you, to go to the party and relieve the loneliness and frustration of not celebrating your favorite holiday). In the longer run, you'll see the Narc, and have all that bullshit running through your head, messing with your brain, intrusive thoughts and emotions. All getting you off kilter. MAN is that a hard choice to make, Scoop. I think it demonstrates huge strength to have made the choice you did :) We're all battling the monster of "instant gratification" here, when it comes to the Narcs in our lives.
Oct 31 - 4PM (Reply to #10)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Yes you are right , i do

Yes you are right , i do feel lonely today and i know to break nc and to have all the obbsessive thoughts for a week or more is a much worse fate than lonelyness for one night. Strenght on the other hand is difficult to recognise at the moment but no doubt it will become clear tomorrow . xx
Oct 31 - 12PM
kiwi10
kiwi10's picture

hey scoopers

i hope you made it through ok.. holloween is kinda hard... i'm proud of you though
Oct 31 - 3PM (Reply to #5)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Love you fierflie ... and

Love you fierflie ... and look at you all loved up with the good jewish boy . this made me smile xxx
Nov 1 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
kiwi10
kiwi10's picture

i love you too

hehehe. yeah there is another one that likes me to. he's a cajun dude from NOLA :) poor poor me. Hey, do you still have my phone number in case you need to talk hun?
Oct 31 - 12PM
kiwi10
kiwi10's picture

hey swcoopers

i hope you made it through ok.. holloween is kinda hard... i'm proud of you though
Oct 31 - 12PM
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

I'm sorry :(

And I give you big, big snaps for sticking to NC when it's this hard. Even if it's the crappy choice it's the healthy choice. A beer and a good horror flick will hopefully get you through the next few hours. xooxo
Oct 31 - 5PM (Reply to #2)
Alive
Alive's picture

Hi Scoop

Hope you are feeling ok. I love your honesty. Please dont feel that you are being weak, you made the right choice, anyone that knows you well enough from this party will understand. I'm sure if it. Enjoy your beer :)