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NC 1.5 and then fell for the okey doke - is this really like a drug

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#1 Jan 4 - 10PM
hedidntbreakme
hedidntbreakme's picture

NC 1.5 and then fell for the okey doke - is this really like a drug

i can't believe i've been NC for so long over a year...i let him back in after a dirn email and him returning my gifts he bought me approx cost $600 - what he owes me $40,000...

so on New Year's eve he calls me - Hey Gs what r u doing (Gs, is the nick name he gave me cuz he only wanted me to wear G-strings nothing more --- yuck)...he said, what r u doing today, i said uh uh going out (new good and well i would be home sobbing)- he said, well i would like to come over to see you today "if thats okay" my dumb @@@ said "okay" - HE NEVER SHOWED UP...IN FACT I HAVENT HEARD FROM HIM SINCE...

I've been clean for 1.5 years...now feeling i am having a relapse after 1 encounter with him...and then he DUMPED ME -- Never showed up....i even said, "dont keep me haning" ug

i am glad it happened. it wont be hard to go NC (at least i hope) for another 5 years this time....

is this the punishment? does he want his gifts back, or does he know i am hurt by is frecking actions...

all i can say - is that i feel like i am in rehab after one contact with him and then answerwing every call...after "i gave him my new phone numbers" after 1.5 years...

Jan 6 - 10AM
Disillusionedx2
Disillusionedx2's picture

HDBM

No matter what happens in these dysfunctional encounters, there's always that lingering thought "what if"? All that has been written/said regarding N antics, who and what they are and stand for,or, remembering a passionate moment, thinking, won't hurt, engage him and walk....you can't play with this fire, every single time, you will be burned. The slightest contact can set you back months, years even, ugh, they are ridiculous. He either was waiting for chic to get dressed, or possibly feuding with her, decides to F with you for funnies‘, you took the bait, he delighted in being the J/A they can be, I'm sorry for you it happened, it makes you want to "get back" but so not worth it, block him if possible and keep it moving, best wishes. stay~striving

stay~strong

Jan 5 - 8PM
hedidntbreakme
hedidntbreakme's picture

My Phone is Ringing

NC NC NC - it's him - yuck i have a lump n my throat. He will never hear my voice or see my face if I can help. NC NC NC. My sweet Revenge... When the phone rang - his name comes up as "YOUAREADAMNFOOLIFUANSWER"
Jan 5 - 4AM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

hedidntbreakme He wanted to

he didn't break me He wanted to Punish you but most of all confirm he still has a thrown in your head for future mind fcks I want you to do what I told victimnomore Don't look at your name as just hedidntbreakme but as He Didnt Break Me!

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Jan 5 - 4AM
Scotchy71
Scotchy71's picture

They're crazy

Bottom line, he was seeing if you would let him back in, playing with your head again..nothing good ever comes of being in contact with these losers....he would just repeat the same behaviour over and over again..only worse!!! These morons know they hurt us but they can't feel it because it truly does not affect them. It gets easier to see them for what they really are in the end. We're the great catch and real the whole time, they can't be...xxx
Jan 5 - 12AM
narcissizednomore
narcissizednomore's picture

Wow, this is scary. I am at

Wow, this is scary. I am at the 1.5 mark myself and see why I can never answer his calls. That is so completely nasty and cruel of him to be testing the waters to see if you'd bite. No wonder people keep saying N's get worse every time there is contact.

narcissizednomore

Jan 4 - 11PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Oh wow do I know about this.

Oh wow do I know about this. The man still has a hold on me 15 years later and for me its a terrible addiction. I just know I can never lay eyes on him again especially after this round. If there is a next time I dont think I would survive. Literally I dont think I would Many years ago when we split up we had really seen eachother for about a year and then out of the blue 3 weeks before my wedding he called. I know he had every intention of screwing that up for me but I didnt bite. This time I bit and I have payed dearly for it.
Jan 6 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
Disillusionedx2
Disillusionedx2's picture

SOI

You're one tough cookie, 15 years? Yikes, get clean A S A P that's alot of good time wasted on someone so UNdeserving, but as you said, it is akin to an addiction, once you get clean it is very easy to relapse. It is true, the "brainwashing" has lasting and profound effects, N once told me a lady he was involved with as a teen said to him she was still shaken by the relationship, she was older, I thought it was silly when he said it, but I now fully understand what she's saying,you have to cut the cord completely, NC 4 EVER, no such thing as being friends, associates, nothing, unless of course,you are co parenting or something of that nature, otherwise keep your distance. stay~striving

stay~strong

Jan 4 - 10PM
Deidre99
Deidre99's picture

I am marveling over what he

I am marveling over what he chose to call you. Today, I broke NC (so do not feel bad! it happens, but we have to get back at it!) and he called me 'perv.' Which was an inside joke when we were together. And I'm SO not a perv. I can't believe these people talk to us like we're still dating them. haha Sorry, got sidetracked with him calling you 'G's' for a moment. He didn't dump you. Don't view it like that. You weren't back together. He is running true to form, and maybe you just needed to see for the final time, what an a$$ he is. You know? Like sometimes, that final dose of BS is what we need to move on. So...you have been NC for over a year until new year's? If you could go that long, you will get right back at it. No worries. Don't stress. I think that they pry us open because we are nice people. I'll never apologize for being a nice person. Neither should you. but, we have to make sure that nice doesn't translate to doormat. I'm working on that! Hugs to you! We'll get through this. :=)
Jan 4 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
hedidntbreakme
hedidntbreakme's picture

perv n G's .....lmao

what sick clowns they are....yes 1.5 years...changed email, phone numbers...his mom would call me at work...ignored her @@@ AND then fell weak....wdf it truly was a drug...i felt hypnotized all over again. h NC 5.5 years and forever now.....sick f#ck!