Narcs definitely have Psychic Radar!

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#1 Aug 29 - 9PM
Miss Lewis
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Narcs definitely have Psychic Radar!

I have noticed a strange phenomenon. Every time I come to a new realization, insight and I gain more strength, the Narc contacts me.

Particularly when I post something on this forum, I gain strength from the support I receive and it strengthens my will to remain No-Contact (15 days).

He senses this, I swear! I post on this forum, like, twice a week, usually when I have gained perspective, and he always contacts me!

When he contacts me, I feel a pit of anxiety in my stomach that takes a few days to go away.

I am glad my Narc is not too bright! He says things that aggravate me and push me further away.

When he texted me last Tuesday he played the “disarm her with Flattery” cars. It was predicted by forum members that his next reaction would be rage. I feel he is attempting to elicit my sympathy.

It almost worked! He is good! He should have gone into acting as opposed to being a truck driver!!!!

I know I shouldn’t listen, but I did! He left a voicemail, sounding emotional and teary, stating the following,

” Hey R, It’s Narc speaking, I have been thinking about you aloooot lately.

I hope your safe, ok, and I hope that you are in loving arms tonight (?????!). I am praying for you, my Angell. I always will.

I know I have no reason to call and I should stop all of this shit, but the truth is, I care about you and I miss you. I have been having bad feelings about, I dunno, a lot of things. I hope that you are o.k.”.

He followed that with a text stating that his road trips (he is a truck driver) a harder these days because he is thinking about bad things from the past. He also asked me to text him just once.

I didn’t text him. Damn. He sounded so sincere. But again, he did not acknowledge the blatant abuse he put me through. He did not even scratch the surface. It was all about his feelings. Why does he think about me when he is all alone on the road and not while he is in town,

clubbing with his friends, picking up girls??!! It makes me sick! Also, why does he state that he hopes that I am in the loving arms of another??!!! WTF!!!!!

I know that you will tell me that I have to stop reading texts or listening to his voicemails. I will….soon. They are so sporadic and random.I keep thinking that he is going to give it a break. I am guilty of listening out of smugness and morbid curiosity. I know! I know!!!!

I have to fight my natural instinct to want to believe him. I like to have a record of these events, I use this forum. It helps, because when I am in denial, I re-read old posts. Some of them go 6 months back, and I can notice the same pattern over and over again.

I am moving soon. I need a change! I’m flooded with emotions, but at least I am starting to feel. I need to process this! I see things from a clearer lense than I ever have before. Thanks!

Sep 1 - 3PM
janine
janine's picture

Controlling Narcs

It made me think that you say he contacts you when you have posted here. I do not want to frighten you or anyone, but after what experience I had with mine it seems only fair to warn you. In some cases what seems like Narc's radar may in fact be a keylogger on your computer. We all know how controlling those guys are. Mine was the typical sneaky and yet stupid Narc, so I caught him every time he tried something. Just thought I'd better bring that to your attention, since it might be better to check and be safe rather than sorry.
Sep 1 - 9AM
Used
Used's picture

WELL DONE FOR NOT

WELL DONE FOR NOT ANSWERING..THE TRUCK DRIVER....IT WOULDNT BE SO BAD..LOL, IF THE CONVO,S WERENT ALL ALIKE, BUT THEY ARE..MYEXN USED TO CALL ME ANGEL AND TEXT ANGEL...UNTIL I TEXTED HIM ONE DAY AND SAID DO YOU CALL US ALL ANGEL SO YOU DONT GET OUR NAMES WRONG...HE NEVER CALLED ME IT AGAIN....HE CALLED ME A FEW CHOICE WORDS LATER IN THE GAME...BUT NOT ANGEL..WHEN HIS OW TALKED TO ME..SHE SAID HE TOLD ME HE LOVED ME ,HE CALLS ME ANGEL...I THOUGHT JOIN THE CLUB.....
Aug 30 - 1AM
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

your truck drivers

are way more literate than my exN college educated celeb - you get whole sentences? I never got a complete sentence in 13 years - yes its a funky text but at least he can pretend he misses you! that is more than I ever got - my N only told me he missed me once when I got back from a long trip when we were in bed, the only place he was nice to me...My N has run off to be famous again at 55 and screw god knows what...I am still too screwed up to date...
Aug 29 - 10PM
58 and going strong
58 and going strong's picture

Miss Lewis, how wonderful:

Miss Lewis, how wonderful: "...at lest I am starting to feel." Keep focusing on yourself and what you want and need. As you heal you will be less tempted to listen to and read his crap. Time for you to follow your head and be 'selfish' now!!!
Aug 29 - 10PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

Translation...when he said

Translation...when he said that about being in the ''loving arms of another,'' it was to scope you out, to see if you'd tell him if you were dating someone. Ugh. I'm so tired of these head games these people play. I'm sorry he hurt you...you are doing great though. Stay NC. It's hard to say if they are sincere or not. Maybe, maybe not. But, most likely, not. It's a tactic to woo you back...hoover you back in...and then, bam. Gain control...and start the abuse and cheating all over again. Think of him as a fisherman, and you're a fish. The bait tonight was tempting. lol But, don't take it. ;)
Aug 30 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
How could I
How could I's picture

Why

Why does mine never speak of being in the arms of anyone else? He always tells me I am the only one. Yet when I told him he acts differently towards me, he doesn't see it? I feel that he is giving her the royal words I used to get. Is it that he is dumping me? Now he only will "be with me in public til I can once again trust him" Oh garbage!!!
Aug 30 - 9AM (Reply to #6)
TNR1
TNR1's picture

Hey How could I....sounds

Hey How could I....sounds like you are still involved with your N...and it sounds like there maybe or is someone else and although your N is claiming to be faithful and all about you, you sense him pulling away and yet, when you call him out on it...he doesn't acknowledge it...is that what you are saying? First, Ns are not going to see things from anyone else's perspective so even if he says he understands...he doesn't. He can only see, feel, hear things from his own perspective....so yes, the relationship is going to feel very one sided to you (and it IS). Also....as far the other girl getting what you are't...let me tell you..whatever she is getting is only temporary. Ns do NOT change. There is no BEST for anyone to get. Sooner or later Ns reveal who they truly are and believe me, it's never a fairy tale. Just as you are feeling him pull away...she will too. But let's reflect on you for a minute. Is he giving you ANYTHING you need? Are you holding on thinking that he will once again become the man you first met? That unfortunately was a lie, a mask. We all get duped by them. They are charming. But unfortunately, what you are seeing now is his REAL SELF and he won't change. HUGS.
Sep 1 - 12AM (Reply to #7)
How could I
How could I's picture

TNR1

Thanks for responding TNR1 I am still "involved" with him cause we work together. That makes it SOOO difficult. Guess the answer to the question - Is he giving you anything you need? - he made me laugh and gave me a reason to get up in the morning. So many times, when we would hold each other, he seemed like a lost soul. And, I felt safe in his arms. He told me that he was a changed man because of my love and I believed him. Looking back, there are so many gross comments he has made, I don't know why I didn't see things clearly before. He really did a number on me and I really love what I thought we had. I don't know if I will ever be able to get over him.
Sep 1 - 9AM (Reply to #8)
TNR1
TNR1's picture

Notice that when you talk

Notice that when you talk about what he gives you...it is all listed in past tense. That is how it is with Narcs. They love bomb us first...then they start to pull away....giving us crumbs to keep us wanting them but never returning back to the man we first met. It's chilling how they use us. It's fine to love him....but you have to love what he IS, not the ideal that he showed you initially. You have to love someone who is a shell of a person, someone who will use people for his own gain and then discard them, someone who will NEVER truly love you back. I know those words are going to sting...but Narcs can't truly love. Real love requires empathy and Narcs lack empathy. Love to a Narc is really infatuation/control. He doesn't care about anyone but himself (which is why it is soooo easy for Narcs to just discard us like used kleenex). How does one get over a Narc? By truly seeing the Narc for who he REALLY is, by letting go of the fantasy that he CARED at all about you and by loving yourself enough to realize that this man is POISON for your soul. HUGS
Aug 29 - 9PM
Redhead1
Redhead1's picture

Just remember, he is thinking

Just remember, he is thinking of you because his other supply is out of sight. If he is remorseful, its because he is alone. It has nothing to do with you or how he hurt you. Only how he is hurting with no supply at the moment.Stay strong. They are creepy.
Aug 29 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
Caligirl
Caligirl's picture

Redhead1 is right

My exN is a truck driver too. Also, they say stuff that tweaks your head and makes u go WTF? They're disordered. It's what they do. They don't even know what they're saying or mean half the time. If you ask them or bring it up, they're just as clueless or they deny saying it. As Hunter says, scrambled eggs. Stand firm! Don't buy into the crap.
Aug 30 - 7AM (Reply to #3)
tynk3377
tynk3377's picture

WOW

my ex-N is a truck driver too..... almost seems they got their *training* on the road...so many locations, so many woman...had to learn to juggle I guess. The ex always swore up and down he never cheated nor would he...unfortunately he lied about so many things I had no reason to believe that wasn't just another lie dripping off his lips.... He also still throws out a line every few weeks to try and bait me...I cant say that I haven't always stayed strong and ignored, but at least I no longer take his shit...yes NC is best because you do end up in some ways feeling worse for talking with them, but I feel better in the sense of, I can hold my own now, give as good as I get, and can piss him off to the point he will go lick his wounds for a while and leave me alone. Yes NC is best, but I was married to him and he knows my buttons...that's a shame on me for allowing myself to get drawn in by his tweeks occasionally, but like I said, it also feels good to know I have reached a point where I can shove his bait back up his own ass...