Narcs and Sex

When I first met N, we were very attracted to each other physically. We flirted a lot, and when we finally slept together, it was amazing and went on for hours. The next day, he said that he wasn't sure where it was all going, and he wished we had waited. That then became MY fault because I should have resisted him !! He then backtracked (hard to believe lol), and we were apart for a while and couldn't wait to see each other, so there were a lot of sexy text messages and phone calls. After not seeing him all that time, I was really excited to see him - but he sort of withered ! I just thought he was tired, but the following day, he said that - guess what? He didn't know where this was all going etc ! We had sex a few more times (and yes, he did take an age to climax) - but then I was downgraded to friend (without benefits) and he said although he did find me attractive, he would be letting himself down - but this did not stop him flaunting himself half naked at every opportunity, very cruel. He did have some strange preferences, he wanted to cut holes in my bras etc and was keen to act as the dominator (surprise), but then it was like he instantly went into 'celibate' mode. Very telling, he said that he had not had a very active sex life with his ex-wife, and that he found it all a bit boring because it meant he had to give something of himself to someone else !!!

There was a very interesting article about this, but I can't find the link right now. It was talking about the entire sexual act from kissing, getting undressed, having sex and then the moments afterward are all very abnormal for them. It also stated that they have a such a difficult time climaxing due to intimacy issues, that they play it off like they are just "so good" and "have so much stamina." The more I learn, the more these guys just seem like little, pathetic, man-boys! Today is Day 22 NC!! The longest we've gone without talking in two years! FFI

It makes me sick to think about having sex with him. It makes me feel dirty, used. He did the same things. Like a robot. He needed pills to make him hard. He used to withdraw sexually to punish me. At the end it was dead, just like the relationship. Meaning me. I was dead, so the relationship was dead. It was all me. There was nothing to him. He sucked me dry. I feel my spirit getting stronger and stronger. I am so glad you girls are on here. Love Jen

EXN liked phone sex and he was really good at his descriptions and we had lots of great phone interactions but when he was with me he was not AT ALL like he was on the phone. EXN has very small peen, so small in fact he would only perform in two positions and would not even attempt any other position. There was one night the EXN was rubbing me WAY too hard with his hand (sorry if TMI) and I asked him to stop and attempted to move his hand, and he would not MOVE his hand away so I had to use strength to get his hand off my private area. It was so weird. As soon as I managed to get his hand off me he became angry at me and wouldn't speak to me. It was the weirdest thing I had ever experienced in a sexual encounter. This was 3 days before leaving. I slept in another bed that night ..and locked my door. We talked about it the next morning and he said that he was upset in the 'way' I pushed his hand away. I told him he was hurting me and I had tried to tell him and he didn't listen. He was hurting me - and he completely took it personally and stopped having sex with me. There was an obvious change in him 36 hours before he left and sex was went from 'good' to dysfunctional. He was very suspcious of me 'faking' orgasm. It was very hard to reach climax with due to his tiny size. oh well. another thing I won't miss!

Mine would go for hours and he would say he can climax at anytime, but he wanted to pleasure me. He was always concerned how many times I orgasmed. There were sometimes he would climax easily but it seemed like they were not as intense as I would expect..I definitely think there was something going on.. but he always wanted to have sex. that wasn't the issue. He would say I just want to make love for hours like we use to.. HMMM..don't really know what to make of it. I know he was a NPD and even thinking of him sexually just causes my heart to ache still. How he violated my soul to such depths.

mine was addicted to masturbation and porn he only had an orgasm once with me, while masturbating and me kissing his stomach at his request (very odd) he could have sex for hours, I thought it was all the alcohol keeping him from orgasm but I think he just whacked off so much he became numb or something

i found sexual enhancement pills and a penis pump i don't know if that means he has some stamina problems or not. found several emails about sex pills and try this or that to give your woman pure pleasure smh. and he is still a young man imo . i've asked several males do they use these things or would every one of them laughed like i was somekind of standup act and said a man that young shouldn't need pills to keep going during sex. i guess he wanted to go a long time or something and used those i don't know . has anyone else found weird stuff like this ?

Yes, my n had a hard time climaxing. Sex would last for hours and we would both be exhausted. I used to cry because I thought that it was me, that he was not as into me as I was him. As, I would climax so much my puppy muscles would be sore. He used to reassure me that it was not me, that he had this problem with all girls. As, our relationship progressed, he sexually abused me twice. He wanted anal sex and we tried it. The pain was so bad that We had to stop, which sent him into a fit of rage. Once of the times, he just kept going and I was screaming in pain. I could hardly sit down for a week and I still have bowel problems from it. It was a horrifying experience.