Narcs and Jealousy?

I'm quite a popular poster on another site which he uses, and the number of times it got mentioned...it was like people weren't supposed to LIKE me, I wasn't supposed to have more friends than he had. Oh, and I was warned by him that he was very "competitive" - i.e. heaven forbid you were better than him at anything because he'd do ANYTHING to change that if he could. Sad little creepy little freak.

the EXNARC was a sicko when it came to be jealous and paranoid, had my ex-husband as one of my contacts on my email account and he said what for, I said why not, he is the father of my child and learn to live with it, yet he is the one to DUMP me.He saw a man and his little daughter coming down the stairs of my house, the neighbor had come over to change the toilet seat for me and as soon as he saw the guy took off immediately in his vehicle, did not say a word, why on god's earth would it seem like I am screwing this neighbor??!!!He once punched out the furnace guy at his 3rd wife's house who, guess what, was fixing the furnace in the basement, because he thought the man was screwing around with her.he had such double standards, he wrote the book on that one.

Mine would actually say "I don't get jealous. I'm territorial." Because to him he's the "Alpha Male. And who would want to be with someone lesser than an Alpha Male?" In the beginning I interpreted these remarks as charming confidence. Nope, just part of his ego and sense of entitlement. But he would become jealous, I mean 'territorial' when some of his friends became friends with me. Two even becamse closer and better friends with me than him..because I reciprocated friendship like most people do.

Mine told me at one point that if I ever tried to manipulate his feelings by purposely making him jealous he'd be gone. One week before he dumped me he accused me of doing that with a guy that was obviously a bit taken with me. I wasn't doing anything 'on purpose', but he said I was leading the guy on because I needed validation from him. He even suggested I spoke to this guy that I'd only met once before (and barely knew) about N and how dissatisfied I had become in our relationship. I didn't see it then for the projection it likely was because it was a few months yet before finding out my exN was the one likely doing that as he wooed his next supply source who he got into a relationship with me right after leaving me. He denies this is true - that they were really still just friends at that time and that they didn't get more involved right away, yet I suspect it was all part of 'the plan of his escape' which he was putting into place before he could leave. Journey on...

Oh and I think I already mentioned that I dedicated my last book to him and he refused to even congratulate me on its publication. I took him the first copy when they arrived from the publisher and he actually threw it on the floor in his vestibule and said, "Oh, thank you so much" very curtly and said, "Anything else? Ok, good night." And slammed the door in my face. I cried and cried on the phone (voice mails, he wouldn't answer). I texted him: "Will you please just congratulate me?" and he said "No. I will not."

...but my favorite jealous moment ever was when my mother and I were getting the nursery ready he pouted, "Well, I didn't have a nice room like this when I was a baby" and walked out in a huff. I remember thinking to myself, "He's really not joking!"

Oh, yes! I have to agree with others here who said that the jealousy was there, but well hidden. Here are a few examples of mine: 1) We went out to lunch one day and I mentioned something I was planning with my friends. He made a face and said something like, "you have A LOT of friends, don't you?" He said it like that is a bad thing. 2) Our office planned an evening at the race track a few months back. He IM'd me earlier in the day to ask if I was going. When I said I was, he said, "well then, I will come, too!" He arrived later than I did and I was already engaged in conversation with others when he got there. I said hello, but didn't immediately jump to give him all my attention. He left about 10 minutes later. It was a 45 minute drive from the office to the track and he stays 10 minutes?! When I asked him later why he left, he said he had to go home and clean his house. Ummmm, okay... 3) He was at my house one day and noticed that the light on my refrigerator indicating that I needed to change my filter was glowing red. He mentioned it and I said, "yeah, I think I got an email about that awhile ago." (the place where I order my filters sends an email reminder every few months) He immediately snaps, "Who sent you the email?!" I responded (jokingly) that it was an old boyfriend who is just REALLY concerned with the on-going quality of my kitchen water. He laughed, but said, "well, that's what I was thinking though." How dare they be jealous when they are cheating and lying left and right?!?!

MY NH was very jealous, he did not want me to talk to my neighbors whom I have known for 20 tears. He use to say that I need to watch how I speak to the neighbors because I am flirting WTF??? He would also say that I have all of my family that loves me, (like there is something wrong with having family that love you). Once he stormed out of a memorial service because all of my co-workers were hugging me.

*I* was the jealous one. my couldn;t give two shits what i did except in the very beggining. i soooo wante dhim to get jealous. guys would flirt with me in front of him because they thought he was MY DAD, and he would say things like 'oh, he's not flirting with you! he's just having fun' like-why would someone flirt with me? i, on the other hand, was so out of control rediculous jealous that i couldn;t stand to go to events with him because i had anxiety that he owuld leer at little girls. sigh... then he used it agianst me and said he couldn;t take me anywhere because i would accuse him of leering at little girls, and that our relationship broke down because of it. i'm still trying to belive it wasn't my fault :(

The ex-Psych professor once raged "Only dumb animals and stupid kids like you!" He was insanely jealous that a dog followed me back to campus... and that I got along great with little kids at an elementary school were I was volunteering. One of his favorite Arthur Schopenhauer quotes is that women are able to relate kids because they're perpetually stuck in childhood&thus perpetually immature. He LOVED dredging up that quote. I owe karma a night on the town, with some bubbly and a nice dinner. Because I get along great with my toddler nephew... and his father (my brother in-law) has the same name as the ex-P's, and is growing up in the Bay State. Believe me, I broke NC to use those facts for LOLs on my part. Yes. I had laughs. At his expense. Thank you, US Postal Service.

My exN was jealous of the fact I have a master's degree and make decent money... he would always make me feel that I wasn't smart and he would make comments like "it's nice to have money" if I told him I was buying something like a piece of furniture or something. I got to the point I didn't feel comfortable sharing happy news with him such as a raise, since I knew he wouldn't be happy for me. I know it stems from his insecurity but it still really hurt. And, especially since I would always be happy for him with his accomplishments... and he could never reciprocate.

You bring up a good point. It just occured to me, When I was with my narc he never showed jealousy. He introduced me to his friends ( I guess they were "friends") Once I started getting close to them, having conversations, and making them laugh, that's when he started pushing me away. Oh Mr Narc are you losing control of your world?? I wouldn't want to change you as You said I was trying to do. These guys are real creatures arent they? I cant beleive i was missing him yesterday. Remind me what exactly was I missing?? I get more love from my Dog!!! Idealk

Here's a typical narc scenario with mine: I left him finally after three years of abuse and neglect and started seeing someone else. He lied to me and said he had cancer so I would come back to him, which I did. So I had to go out with the new guy and tell him I was going back to the narc. The narc, with his fake cancer, threw a fit that I had to go out with him for an hour. All evening he texted me "I can't believe you're out with him" and "You don't really love me" I found out two months ago that he'd taken the OW out to dinner that night, double dating with his best friend and his wife, and had screwed her before coming to me after I came home from breaking up with the new guy for him and his fake cancer. Early in the relationship, he sat on my couch and told a "funny story" about how he found a drunk woman with two flat tires at a gas station a few years before and had fixed her tires and driven her home because he "couldn't let her drive, honey" and she had offered to give him a blow job in thanks but he instead just wanted to be her friend (yeah, right) and had gone on to befriend her, give her money and help her divorce her abusive husband. I was just like, "Why are you telling me this but whatever" Then later, on the same evening he told me that story, we were talking about the snow and I mentioned a boyfriend I'd had in HIGH SCHOOL who took me sledding and he stormed out because "I don't want to hear about your boyfriends. How do you think that makes me feel?"

Oh yes! But they are stealth and they rarely let you see it because they don't want you to have any weapons to use against them. I only saw it a handful of times with mine but when he let it slip out a couple of times WOW! On those couple of occasions he must have just been seething so much that he could no longer hold it in and he is the master of the poker face