A Letter to the New Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl & Mr Hyde from His EX
Dear New Girlfriend,
Let me preface this letter to you by acknowledging that you will not believe a word of it...just yet. Not for months, or even a year or two...or three...In fact, you may read it and go running to your amazing new man, your 'soulmate',...for some reassurance that none of this is true. And he WILL tell you it is all a lie. He WILL deny everything. He will tell you it's all the imaginings of his bitter ex-psycho GF. Oh yes, he will say, you are SO much better, his Princess, his One and Only Truest Love. And he will warn you not to ever believe a word of anything ANYONE ever says about him...unless it is all GOOD, of course!
Or he might try this strategy with you. He may half heartedly admit, if confronted, that YES! he has done "things in his past that he is not proud of", but he has "learned from his mistakes and he is a changed man for YOU! And besides, he isn't perfect...."sometimes". But this time he won't make the same little 'mistakes...this time, because YOU are SO Special...more special than anyone else before you,...he won't repeat anything from the past. YOU are safe from his inner demons! He has worked on himself and he is a NEW man! Everything he ever did that might be even a little wrong, is all in the PAST. Yes, it's all in the past and it has nothing to do with what you now have (after a whirlwind lightening fast 3 weeks of meeting him). What he has done in his past was SO long ago, it's as if it never happened. Right? (what a convenient concept) And it must be true and real...just like your special new relationship! (can we say instant!) And if you find out my real name, he will convince you most of all that you must never listen to a word I say or write, and that you should never EVER try to talk to me. You will believe everything he tells you. You will. I know. Because I did too. Once Upon a Time.
Right about now YOU, as the next one in line, are feeling like you hit the jackpot and won the lottery all at once. You could not be happier! You are happy, just deliriously HAPPY! You are dancing on cloud nine and ten and counting all your lucky stars. In less than a few weeks since you met Mr. Wonderful...online...of all places, and now you think you're so completely 'in love' that you hardly know what to do with yourselves. You almost hold your breath until the next time you are together. He takes your breath away to just see that million dollar smile of his! Your heart just melts at the very sight of him. Already you are almost inseparable. In such a short time, days, or mere weeks, you crave him, and you are together every chance you can get. You have already been on some of the most romantic dates of your life in just a few weeks of first meeting. He is Romeo...and you are his new Juliet! The 'ONE'...in a line of others before you who were also the "ONE'. But let's not go there just yet. Let's just stay with this dream for a little while. It feels SO good. How do I know? Because I was in that exact same Fairy Tale dream, not as long ago as you may have been told.
Right about now you are telling yourself, "Yes, but I am different than you", even 'better' somehow. In the mere month you have 'known him, you are certain that you already know him better than anyone else that may have known him for years! You say to yourself "I am the girl he always dreamed of", and you know this because he tells you so. You are the one he has been waiting for all his life. The one who is so special, that only you can heal his troubled heart. YOU'RE the one to make him happy, you are his 'everything'! He says it all the time. So it must be true. You know, without a doubt that you are meant to be together. It is fate and destiny. What did he ever do without you. You are his precious angel. It is the truly truest TRUE love story, if ever there was one! Even better than in the movies. He is your leading man. You are his leading lady. Your stomach is full of butterflies, you hardly sleep, you hardly can eat, and he is on your mind day and night. Well, those aren't really 'butterflies' girl, that's your 'gut instinct' giving you warnings. But you won't pay attention. And neither did I. It's all so deliciously GOOD!
Spoiler Alert: Close your eyes right now and don't read this if you don't want to recognize this reality! It feels SO good, because it is TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE...none of it is true, it's just his Dr. Jekyl act that he lets you see at first. His best side, his 'good' image and persona are all of him that he allows you to see right now. It's his best BAIT to lure you in unsuspecting. Keeping you unaware of his true nature,...what you do not know are the dark secrets that he keeps hidden about himself. His Mr. Hyde side is the REAL DEAL and is saved for later, for when he is 'sure' of you' and then sometimes grows tired of you (and he will, even if you cannot imagine it right now). He will show his dark abusive side only much later, when you begin to see that reality and this dream are two different things. Only when you begin to question him. If you saw his real persona, the dark and dangerous Mr. Hyde side, you would RUN! And he knows this!...okay, you can go back to the dream now...
Close your eyes and count all those thousands of yummy kisses he has given you by now. Oh yes, if there is something he is an expert at, it is those kisses. He kisses you for hours...and hours...and everywhere you go...and you are blinded by those wonderful sexy perfect kisses! You will not realize right now that blinding you to reality ...is the real reason for those kisses. You cannot see beyond the smokescreen of those perpetual nonstop kisses...and that's the point of them...NOT because he just loves kissing you. Special YOU. The only woman in the world truly meant for him! But to bond you tightly and as quickly as possible to him and convince you that YOU are 'The ONE'. (I will not tell you that these kisses will also dwindle and stop eventually. Right now you only imagine kissing him FOREVER and ever and ever!) Why! Sometimes you feel you can almost fly!, and you are probably floating on air everywhere you go. Your head is up there in the clouds. You see rainbows and sunshine and shooting stars. But you have no idea how thin that air will get one day. And I really don't want to warn you. Not yet. I truly DO wish that the dream you are currently dreaming was as real as it seems to be for you. I do. I really really do.
It goes something like this; Every waking moment you have thoughts of HIM. Magical, wonderful perfect HIM. And your world has suddenly, VERY suddenly, taken on the rosiest hue! You are in Heaven. He is an Angel, brought to you by God himself as a gift, just for YOU! You must've been rewarded (finally! whew!) for something you did right. Your prayers have been answered...at last! He is a dream. A God. A funny cuddley snuggley playful little boy sometimes. How cute is that?! So thoughtful and loving and tender and sweet. So affectionate, he can't keep his hands off of you. Oh! you feel so good and happy just to BE with him. And you tell him...and tell him...and tell him, ALL the time, just how amazing, sexy, smart, handsome, remarkable, perfect and special...and essential...he is to you already. In just a few short weeks. You feel you have always known him. You BELONG together. He has become your EVERYTHING very quickly. You have been swept off of your feet...literally! And there is your Prince right there to catch you! What a lucky lucky girl you are. Luckier than anyone in the entire universe. Lucky lucky YOU! You hum and sing as you skip down the street. It's all SO hunky dorie wonderful. And the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause and Leprechans really DO exist after all! Isn't it incredible? This must be REAL love!
You are certain that there is no other man on earth more attentive and more of a gentleman. There is no one EVER who could be SO much fun. Everywhere you go he is always holding your hand, or his arm is around you and he is constantly kissing on you,...oh yes!...all those wonderful delightful sexy kisses. Again, on every street corner, everywhere you go. Nonstop kisses. You can't get enough of him. Right? You haven't felt this way in the longest time and never thought you would feel this way again, but here you are...already so deeply in love with the 'love of your very life'.(in record time! WOW, is this what swooning feels like?) Am I right so far? He is just that special. He is already your drug and you are addicted to him, to his very touch, his stories, his wit and humor, his seeming 'compassion for others', his utter CHARM...to HIM...the whole package. (the whole ACT) Come to think of it, his charm is so utterly charming itself, could there be anyone more charming than he is? What a Prince among Princes, and YOU are his Princess in your very own real life Fairy Tale Love Story. How do I know this? Because it was the SAME dream, the same Fairy Tale Love Story...the same exact things he said and did with ME when I was 'The ONE'. But don't believe that. Right now, anything I say to you cannot be true. I am now cast as the Evil & Crazy Witch EX who left for no reason at all and broke the tender heart of a very sensitive & wonderful man. Isn't this the role I now play in HIS & YOUR special new Dream? How could I DO such a terrible thing?
By now he has told you all the 'stories' of how his EX's were so horrible to HIM, that they just did not appreciate him enough for the great guy he is, and they neglected his 'needs' and were abusive and critical and made him feel very bad about himself. The 'pity play', so convincing and so classic of a narcissist, but you won't *get* that yet. ( It's designed to get you to feel sorry for him, care more about HIM and feel protective of him, while blaming them too...it's you two against the world of his awful EX's! See how bonding that is?, works perfectly while making himself out to be the sufferer...instead of the 'not so great guy' with a history of violent behavior & abusiveness, the Mr. Hyde that he really IS hiding, and this pity ploy keeps you distracted from taking a real good look at HIM?) All that 'love' and all that almost smothering attentiveness he is pouring on you right now feels just too good so it has to be real. Right? VERY CONvincing. If he hasn't yet blamed his EX's for his problems, he WILL begin bad mouthing his most recent one soon...(one, a few, or all of them eventually). Perhaps right now he is pretending most are friendly so you aren't scared away. He knows to disparage one's EX is a big RED FLAG and on the list of things NOT to say to YOU!...Most likely in short time, he will ignore this dating rule though. You will come to notice the longer that you are together that the 'rules' of life in general just don't apply to HIM.
Oh! how those witches, those critical nags, haranged him and took everything from him and made him cry. His poor heart was broken, stomped on and smashed to a million pieces by those horrible psycho bitches! Awwww, how could they hurt such a wonderful darling adorable man such as he? Oh yes! Did I mention that they all had 'issues' and too many 'problems' and were 'bad' people? Oh sure, they were all probably, just like he says, even 'psychopaths' and liars themselves. They just never could 'trust him'(don't ask yourself why that is just yet, it may take you out of the dream you are in! Blame them too! Cling to his version that it was 'all their fault') Yes! It must be true, because even his family is backing him up on this as they all nod in unison when he tells you how terrible his last relationship was...the one with ME...just before YOU. Couldn't be the entire family is just that much in denial and dysfunctional...right? I can assure you they are all well aware of the trouble he has caused, in his own life, in theirs...and in others, but their lips are sealed...They have found ways to punish him and cut him out within their family circle, but they will never let you know this...let's not go there right now either. Right now YOU are the CURE. They are counting on this working out...THIS time he has found someone so special that he could NEVER raise his voice or fist to you, but if he does, it means that you were not the 'RIGHT ONE' either...nevermind that if it doesn't work out, HE and THEY will blame YOU next. You will have your turn to be the family Scapegoat someday too. You will eventually be the horrible EX who 'made him do the things he does' because YOU are flawed and to blame...ignore me, I'm just the terrible EX.
Go back to the Dream...and your dream man...and those dreamy kisses....
Don't you agree that it is such a pity that this perfect man kept finding Miss Wrong all of his life. I mean, the poor pitiful fella has just had the worst luck with women hasn't he? He has tried and tried with those witches. He certainly has. He never gives up, even if it means literally stalking them...but that's also for much later. YOU are here now to change all that for him and make him so so so happy! He deserves the BEST! And the BEST IS YOU! WooHoo! Yep! Never fear...YOU are here to rescue him and make him feel better. You won't make the same mistakes like they all have made. You will treat him better than all the rest...because you are the right 'ONE'. After all he and his family say you are SO much better than any of his EX's...and you believe it. I remember this part of the dream too. When I was told that I was "a breath of fresh air compared to his last girlfriend" as they all nodded in unison and made remarks about her that you almost can't hear,... under their breath. Yeah. Poor Prince Charming. All of his Ex's were just awful. So terrible. Just horrible. But too bad for THEM now! It's their loss! It's all in his PAST! He's all YOURS now! He has now become the most wonderful man in the world. And your specialness has something to do with that! Wheeeeee!
Well, let's not burst your delightful bubble just yet. It's nice for me to reminisce about the first 'bloom' of his love RUSH too. To remember the same EXACT things I felt, as I write this letter to you. Oh yes, I remember it all too well. In exactly the very same way. And that's because he did exactly the SAME things. Said the very same things. Went on the very same dates, to the very same places. Held MY hand in the same way in the car with the same music on too. SAid all the most romantic same things too. Looked into my eyes and kissed me a billion times. Just like he does with you. Pay attention here. It's his best game play! He did the exact SAME things, and I fell for it all too in the EXACT same way you do right now. A couple of years from now, (give or take) this point will be important to you as you sort your way out of the ashes of your life, the damage and cognitive dissonance that you will be left with after the dream is over and you wake up to the nightmare you are really in. Right now there is nothing I can say to you that you will believe. In fact, you must already view me as the sour or bitter EX. (Forget that I left HIM, and the possibility that HE might be bitter instead). Yes, that's the role I am cast in now, in this amazing new love story that you share with HIM.
You have probably been told that the break up was mutual, or even that HE broke it off or was thinking about it anyway, and that maybe I just beat him to the punchline and he tells you he is sure that I still 'want him', because he is SO GREAT that every one of his EX's really secretly regrets leaving him. Am I close? It would take a miracle on the MOON for him to EVER be truthful and tell you that it was his RAGE, HIS lies, his record, his numerous bad moods, his VIOLENCE, his 'keeping his options perpetually open, his words, his neglect, HIS secrets...the hours on porn and singles sites, his abuse, his excuses, the cheating, his always blaming others, and did I mention VIOLENCE ???...that cost us our 'Dream'. The truth is that I left and moved so far away...SO far away, where I was safe from both his lethal violent side and his charm. I am not angry, and I certainly don't want to be with him. Hello? Pay attention to logistics here and wonder why a woman would move SO far away and leave behind such a 'wonderful man'?!! I wrestle with myself not to say this. But the truth is that of all the people I have met in my entire life, I wish with all my heart that I had never met him. NEVER. Not ever. I could not mean this more. Oh, I loved the first part of the Dream too, and it was very hard to wake me up from it, but the damage in the aftermath of the nightmare it became was not worth any of it. And because I truly thought I loved him once, that makes me incredibly sad. I still have nightmares and wake up in fear and tears that he is coming to hurt me some more...but this won't happen to YOU. Right?
So many truths he will keep from you too...about his past, about his tantrums and frightening level of swift violent behavior, and all his trouble with the law. His lies robbed me of the information I needed to make very important choices for my own life and those I love...his lies kept me in the dark about what I REALLY faced in the future with him, and cost ME dearly in my ability to trust other men...and to trust myself to know who is good and who isn't. (it's called 'cognitive dissonance, and you will have this too the longer you stay with him) His abuse ripped my spirit and heart in two & took my happy disposition and my good health. I lost confidence and my cheerful personality. He kept from me what I deserved to know. That he was a violent man and had a record of abuse a mile long. I would never have had a first date with him, let alone give him a second look,..if I had known. And he knows this. He knows this about YOU too. And he will do anything to keep you from knowing the truth, including denigrating me, calling me a liar and saying that I am 'crazy' and 'jealous' so you will not believe me. He will accuse ME of the very things that he has done and continues to do. I am risking much to try to save you. But you will only realize this later...later when the Dream you are in right now comes to an end. I am sad to tell you that it WILL come to an ending. Not now, or even soon perhaps. You might even have a few 'happy weeks, months or years'. But one day it will end. Because if it doesn't, you will not survive. Either emotionally and spiritually...or even worse...physically. When you wake up one day and see the damage he has really done to YOU and your life,...just as he done to everyone who has dared to love him, including YOURSELF, that's when your heart will be broken too.
Another SPOILER ALERT: Now comes the part where you must wake up! But you can save this part for when you are ready. Don't read any further if you want to sleep in just a little bit more. I wish you were ready for some reality right now as I would like to find a way to protect you and spare you from the destructive nightmare that your 'dream' WILL become. I wish your dream would last forever. You won't believe this either, but I do. There will come a day when small chinks in his armor will begin to show thru. A precurser to the big ones. It might happen sooner, or it might happen later. The timing is not relevant. What matters is that just like everything else is the same in this dream you are in at 'the beginning', so will 'the ending' be...the very same...a nightmare. Perhaps some details will change here and there...but it WILL end, and you will be hurt. Your sweet and giving heart that's so full of love and stars for him, so full of unabashed joyful promise, so innocent of what's to come...will one day feel as if it has been broken beyond repair.
NO! you say?! This is real and it will never end. It's too bad I feel this way, but it will never be like this for YOU. Ah! Unfortunately, it will. He might try harder this time and do better. The dream may last longer this time with you. He may be determined that this time you won't leave him. Rejection and abandonment are his biggest fears...right up there with exposure. But the minute you become familiar, perhaps a little boring, or doubt him or question him, or wonder and ask for some clarity about his behavior, he will begin the dance of devalue and discarding you. Oh he will NOT discard or leave you right away. He won't break up with you all at once. Instead he will begin to torture you with abuse and neglect and blame, cheating and lies. Then when the push and pull, hot and cold rollercoaster ride he takes you on begins in earnest, you will feel it. And it will hurt. If you are anything like ME, (and you are) you will try to fix things, make things go right. You will lay awake in bed alone and long for him to return to that man you first fell in love with at the beginning when your dream was so new and so wonderful. But at this point you will rarely see him again. Instead, he has become the REAL persona that he IS. MR. HYDE. If the lovely Dr. Jekyl ever comes back, it will only be at brief intervals, until he vanishes forever. Things will never be the same after this. They can't. Now you know too much about him and he must be sure no one else will know. Now you become the 'crazy one' who 'harangues' him...and very soon you will be in my shoes...IF you can escape...
Oh, for a time he WILL be Dr. Jekyl AND Mr. Hyde for you off and on, for a while...He will be lovely and a complete gentleman, and then turn sour and instantly furious!...and then sweet and attentive again, then suddenly rage, then just as quickly smile and kiss you, and then grab you by your hair and threaten to throw you down the stairs, then wrap you in his arms and say he is sorry and he loves you and it will never happen again. He will feign sincere contrition, then even the fake apologies will stop. Then he will be protective of you...then barrel down the street at 160 kilometers/hr in a rage when he thinks someone cut him off...risking your life. You will begin to notice that he is SO easily offended by the smallest things. He will give you a gift, but when he is angry at you, it will disappear and he will tell you that you lost it. His stories will change from one day to the next. He will vascillate between brutal 'honesty' and outright deception to confuse you, and then deny that he ever lies or plays mind games, and that YOU are just making things up in YOUR mind. He expects absolute 'respect', to be noticed, appreciated, validated and admired and entitled...and if his 'Dr.Jekyl' act doesn't garner the complete attention and all the admiration he seeks from others, then his 'Mr. Hyde' true self will angrily demand that they notice him! Did I mention the temper tantrums? Oh yes! THOSE! No mere 2 year old could out-do HIS 'pitching a fit'! Yes! The tantrum part is a lot of fun. Very entertaining the first time you witness it. He will whine and mutter, complain in a babylike voice, throw and break things, hiss and spit too. And when this happens, you will be shocked. To hear a grown man, nearly 50 years old...whine like a very spoiled little girl. It's all just so NOT pretty to see. This behavior will continue more and more frequently...In cycles. Wash, rinse and repeat!
He will yell at you, then laugh at you and put you down. He will pout because you didn't read his mind. The tantrums will get louder and longer. He will step on the toes of tiny little elderly ladies and scream at THEM in the street in front of many witnesses. He won't care who he hurts! In time, his perfect 'Father of the Year' act will falter and he will rage at and hit his kids right in front of you. And you will be shocked at his swift fits of rage and violence! He'll no longer try to hide it. He will complain about every other thing and break objects when he is angry. Then he'll smile and make a joke and make excuses and seem sorry. He will neglect you for days, and then romance you for a few hours. Up and down and all around. Small things at first, then HUGE! He will make you doubt yourself, mock you and tell you how stupid and inadequate you are. He will play mind games in earnest and play them to WIN. And he will be cruel, so cruel and then say he 'didn't mean it' or you 'took it all wrong'. And 'can't you take a joke?'.
He will slowly, ever so subtly, erode away your dignity and confidence. He may eventually beat you and bruise you too, as he has done in his other relationships. But he has been in trouble for abuse and violence so many times now that he's on the radar of local law enforcement. So it's possible he may not go quite this far...with YOU...as he knows the next time he gets violent, he will go to JAIL! But you will be abused. You will cry as much as you smile at this stage. Then, if you don't find a way to leave him after this, you will lose that smile, completely. He WILL break you, hurt, crush, abuse you, damage, blame and use you, take your heart, your spirit, your trust, use your money, your love, health & life, stalk, threaten and scare you, then devalue and destroy you...then dust himself off with a satisfied smile and move on quickly to the next 'ONE'. You will become his 'horrible EX', and it will all be YOUR fault...and he will start a NEW Fairy Tale Love Story Dream...with someone else. After YOU. Guaranteed.
Your health and appearance will suffer. Your relationships with your family, children and friends will suffer too, because they will begin to notice things about him that they don't like, and will be puzzled that you stay with him. You will reach out to them and tell them about some problems and things he does, and they will get tired of hearing it when they offer their advice and support and yet see that you stay with him for more. This is when you begin to lose your own inner dignity. You will even question your own sanity to stay with this man, who once was your Prince, who's issues clearly go beyond the problems of someone who told you he that just maybe "wasn't perfect" sometimes.
He will eventually be who he IS. Nothing you can do will prevent his eventual transformation back into 'Mr. Hyde'. He IS a very unstable, angry, violent and selfish man with a personality disorder and character flaws that you cannot heal. And being with him will destabalize YOUR life, even your children's lives and affect them!... If you don't believe this right now, promise yourself that you will get out immediately at the first sign that what I am telling you is true...For THEIR sake, if you can't leave him for YOURS!
After quite a while of this stage, when you keep trying harder to please him...meeting all his needs...you will notice he will be up all night,...night after night on porn for hours. Hours and hours and hours. Looking like an absolute BOZO the CLOWN totally oblivious you are standing right there as he's stupidly staring at, talking to and masturbating to some air brushed naked women on a computer screen with his pants around his ankles. Just like some common heavy breathing pervert. Yep! That's the same Prince Charming you are with...right this minute! Take a good look! Not quite the picture of who he seems to be right now, is it? There will be hang up calls and calls from Other Women asking for him and wondering who you are? You will begin to recognize the signs of deceit,(such as when he leaves in the morning wearing his 'special underwear and after-shave on Tuesdays and Thursdays and returning home smelling like...well...SEX...later ) Or he makes secret calls outside on the deck or in the bathroom...or after you have gone to sleep. And you are NOT invited anymore to his work events, and he begins to suggest you each have your 'own space' sometimes. You WILL begin to notice things are a becoming a little 'different', even though he is well practiced at hiding and denying that he cheats...And DO listen girl. No matter what he says, how he lies, how he denies...he DOES cheat. And he WILL eventually cheat on YOU. But this is the least of the concerns you should have. It is your safety that should be most important.
Oh yes, sorry to let you in on his dirty little secret life so soon. None of this is your fault. You see, no amount of your 'trying' and loving him really really good and really really hard,...will change this about him. Eventually he WILL seek more and more attention from others. It does not matter how pretty you are, or what a good cook you are, or how sexy and wonderful you are in bed. It doesn't matter if you are as gorgeous as 'Hollie Berri' or 'Elizabeth Hurley' and 'Christie Brinkley'. (ask them, they will tell you this too) Being one of the prettiest, smartest and wealthiest, most talented women in the world won't spare you or make you more special to him, or make this Fairy Tale Love Story work out...later...when the newness wears off...and it will!. His need for attention and validation is endless and vast and no one woman can fill him up...right now he assures you that you are all he needs...but it's just another one of his lies.
There is so much more to tell you, but I will spare you the rest, I think you have heard enough to figure your way out, eventually...when you need to save yourself! If you eventually do leave, do so carefully, as he becomes highly offended and furious, he will call everyone you know, and neighbors all around you...in the middle of the night...pertending to be 'concerned'(but trying to get information about you)...and he will stalk you, stand outside your window at 2am staring at you sleeping, and do everything that scary movies and nightmares are made of. Be very careful when you leave, as he becomes dangerous and harrassing and threatening, worse than you can imagine. I can only hope that you have paid attention. But I'm fairly certain that you won't, just like I wouldn't have either. Right now you love this Fairy Tale True Love Story and imagine with all your might that you really truly love him. That what you have with him was 'meant to be'. You have no idea that the man you love right now does not exist. It's just a mask. You will cling to this 'dream'...and HIM for dear life.
You think he loves you. He tells you he loves you SO much. You believe it with all of your heart. And it is so sad for me to tell you this too, but he does NOT know how to love anything or ANYONE...but himself. He can sure fake it to be even better than the real thing though! He is not really Prince Charming, andmore than a Narcissist. Because he is also violent and has been in trouble with the law so many times, because of this he is on the other end of the spectrum Psychopath. I can assure you that he is dangerous in many ways. Your spirit, soul...heart and
body are in mortal danger, the longer you are with him. So please. Just for a moment, stop to ponder this. Right now, He has convinced you...ever so swiftly...engaged you SO fast...bonded with you so tightly...WHY the rush?, is it because you and HE are just that special? Is there really such a thing as 'fate'? Or was it his intention to romance you so thoroughly that your head will be in the clouds and you will not pay attention to those 'Red Flags'..in hopes that you might never find out the truth that this 'dream' he created for you was well practiced and perfected on the "ONE"s before you. He hopes you will not see these truths about HIM. The truth is that you are really in a nightmare and you won't know it....until the damage is done and it's too late for you too...
That's one truth I hope with all my heart...that doesn't turn out to be true...