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A narcissist's depressing, pointless life

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#1 Nov 3 - 7PM
Warrior1
Warrior1's picture

A narcissist's depressing, pointless life

Does anyone share my theory that the narcissist's life seems to be so completely pointless (at least to the normal person)? It has to be such an utter bore. When I look back at the three years I spent on and off dealing with my narcissist, at least I can say I've learned something from that terrible experience and know I'll never go back to him.

But with the narcissist, everything they do seems like such a waste of time. Why court me for months on end without any intention of having something serious with me? Why expend the energy? Why keep the game going for so long?

I know, I know. I've read enough to know that they pursue someone relentlessly just to get attention and to have their ego stroked. But it seems to be such a depressing existence and pathetic that that's all they can do -- pretend to be someone they are not just to get attention. I can't get my head around how they can sustain this act for as long as they do. It seems like such a hollow life.

Guess I just feel pity for my Narc.

Nov 4 - 3AM
time_to_move_on
time_to_move_on's picture

his life was a living hell

my ex once said to me that inside his head was a living hell. And that he could never get away from that. He was a shell of a man, he'd probably say it was because of his childhood abuse, but either way it's a hollow life, as you aptly put it Warrior1. I did feel sorry for him on that front, but obviously not enough to take his abuse on an ongoing basis.
Nov 3 - 7PM
destiny (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I think my Narc summed it up

I think my Narc summed it up when he said to ME "you are the most depressed person I know...you really suffer greatly from depression' funny narc that you were the only one to think that...projection!! I agree seems oh so stupid for him to D&D me...then call me again...date briefly D&D again...then beg for me back to such lengths of getting his friends involved....saying he wished we never broke up in the first place....it was the fighting he could not tolerate anymore. he even wanted to go to therapy 2 days before he D&D me. He sat there the last time I saw him and he said....I feel so lost with everything in life...i took three baths today and just stared at the walls...i put so much into this and I just hate life. such a waste of an existence...all because he didnt show up that weekend things turned so ugly so fast. Something so simple gone so wrong so easily. He also just stays inside on nice days..doesnt have any close family or friends...lives online. He has lost so many in his life over the years...over 200 first match com dates no 2nd dates. Fearing God. maybe this is the pain my therapist was talking about that narc would have long after I have found peace. Look at their lives. “It's not hard to find the truth. What is hard is not to run away from it once you have found it.”
Nov 3 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
quietude (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

destiny

I made the HUGE mistake of asking mine if he was 'depressed or something?'...I swear in a very concerned, unthreatening way. Wow, he exploded! Asked me if I wanted him to leave, etc. Now I know I must have hit a big old nerve. You're right, yours was totally projecting. And OMG, mine always was saying he was "lost". No matter how I tried to help, and if I thought I made some headway, the next day...he would be "sad & lost" again. Isn't it all so utterly exhausting trying to keep up with them?? Phew!
Nov 3 - 7PM
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

narcissist's life seems to be so completely pointless

its certainly not what I would get off on, and such a stupid game all for attention. What is the point like you said anyway just to score some tail? Like the behavior of a 16 year old in a way. Mine was a sex addict and I think they also classify that as sort of a mental disorder, I cant imagine for one second being a sex addict getting off on new body parts from strangers, I like the contentment of familiarity myself its comfortable and warm and secure sure I imagine there is an element of getting old to anything but god it would get old to always have to act and con others all your life. I wondered that too why go through all that work to secure me and then discard me, what a waste. A sex addict is like a junkie my counselor once told me, they cant survive without it in their lives, they must have it to thrive and they will go to any lengths to secure it, I think the only time he can ever truly get off and not have ED is if he is with someone new, once he has had you its done he has had his fix on to the next new body part, what a way to live
Nov 3 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
4joys (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

They dont see the

They dont see the repercussions of their actions. They work on impulse and what they want at the moment. Learn from their experience? Pleeeese!