Narcissist Playground

Is it just me or is Facebook a narcissist's ideal playground? A perfect way to display, be seen and torment with things posted just to get at you? My N uses FB constantly.... posting her perfect world for all to see. She posted things I know were aimed at me.... denied it calling me overly sensitive and thinking it's all about me. Ha ha! One of the best things I ever did was unfriend her.... stopped my world from spinning quite so badly.

Inner peace to all~
Kauaigirl

Arwen's picture

Facebook is a horrid site and that's how the narc found me and pursued me in the first place. I do have tons of great friends on FB however - but, it def is their playground. In addition, the narc has hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful women in his friends list and oddly he also has tons of photos of him and every ex girlfriend he has in various kissing poses and what have you. It's SO SO SO SO SO weird! In retrospect I don't believe any of these women are "exes"...I believe they are all a collection of one big harem that he keeps going around and around. He told me that I would know if he were with someone else because his FB page would say "in a relationship"!!!! can you imagine someone telling you that this is how you would find out?! At that moment I defriended him for the second time. I found his FB collection of women and "hot" photos of himself to be teenage behavior beyond belief. I think I just love who I still think he could be. The illusion part of all of this is very hard to get past - that they will change and be the man you want.
michele115's picture

I agree, our minds paint beautiful canvases... and that is what we have to fight... Yes, I note they "collect" friends on FB like little boys collect baseball cards. I hope you get to healing soon...none of us deserve this...but you know...perspective...life happens, it's how we handle it...and I believe you have what it takes to get through as we all do...because the first step was being proactive and we're all here...that's a great start.... Hugs!
ifinallygotit's picture

He uses it to collect fans, over 700 He pretends he takes expensive vacations He pretends he has an expensive sports car He shows himself in back seat of limo with guy friend thumbs up Since we broke up he has pics of him and the hooker looking lady in bars He has likes for things he does not like or do He adds current teeny bop musicians to pretend he is young (age 55) He never told he had FB when we were together He has tons of girls on there from bars (they both have the same bar as likes) He used to have tons of photos of himself He has a pic of the dog I love that he also abandoned (expensive dog) I blocked myself from looking I used to rationalize that it was innocent because we discussed it when we were together after I found out (he acted loyal). I thought he missed having fans like the old days when he was a famous player - I felt sorry for him because he was sitting unemployed in his house playing on the computer but it got much worse after he moved and got a job, really showing off like "I'm BACK"....in the limelight again...I really felt ashamed of him when i saw these attempts to be cool and popular in his 50's, geez....but then again we both have been pretty pathetic - me pretending we had a great love and him just dying to be important again - I must say that I DO respect him for working but I doubt it is to support his teenagers like he said - looks like all about him on FB - plus he exposed his kids to this lady throwing herself on him that he has only known a few months - nice.
TLSM's picture

FB is horrible! I have it for my business and it helps tremendously! I used to have personal FB, but there was too much drama. My ex N never had personal and that saved me so much pain I see you guys suffering, because I have no will power when it comes to him. But now that jerk has a business fb page and I can't control myself from looking. I see him happy and going on with his life and his new YOUNG twinkie "liking" everything that's posted, which is a million pics of him. Its hell and I'm putting myself through it. Today is my first day of not peeking. You know what I've heard (several times)was the number one reason for divorces today??? F A C E B O O K!!!
kgirl's picture

SO painful to peek at their displays on FB....glad you didn't today! All I can see is her profile pic and it is a picture of her in Hawaii...a trip she took with me and I funded which she never paid me back for! She put that as here profile pic when I requested no contact. She used FB as a tool to get to me all the time...and now her profile pic is her only available jab! Stay strong...no peeking! :)
onwithmylife's picture

like Facebook and am way to private to use it.
kgirl's picture

I used to think it was harmless....not so!
michele115's picture

AND the reason for the demise of the relationship...at least the initial demise. I think any social network forum is what you make of it. I temporarily transformed myself as a narc on FB as a means of boosting my self esteem...took a ton of pics and posted them... also made indirect comments hoping he'd see them. Now, I blocked anyone who is not a friend from seeing my rants and I think I've cleaned up my act some... BUT I still like taking my pics...it's something I developed post narc and it cheers me up...I use faceinhole.com and I can be whomever I want to be...
kgirl's picture

I agree with your comment about it bringing out Narc tendencies! I could feel myself starting to use FB in the same manner she did, to get back at her.....and I didn't like seeing that in myself. After I unfriended her, FB became what I had intended....a place to chat and goof with friends, and a way to keep in touch with family and friends that I normally wouldn't be able to. I found I obsess over it less and post pretty rarely now. I think FB has it's place....but just saw it being a HUGE tool for her and wondered if other people noticed the same. Thanks!
dudette's picture

yes it is... the tool of the devil...there is another thread on this on the board....a third of divorces are caused by FB these days I have deleted my account. it served no purpose apart from self-promotion for people and I worried that my XN would find a way to spy on my somehow despite being blocked etc... I am not missing it at all !!!
kgirl's picture

I will have to check out that other thread. I didn't know the divorce stats associated with FB....very interesting! I still have my account, but unfriended her. She was SO mad at me for that, calling me immature. I'm sure she wanted me in her audience and felt she lost more control over me. I couldn't stand seeing the posts of her "perfect" world and things she would post that were aimed at me. And now I see it as an important to assist with no contact. I missed her there for a long time....and now it is just a relief!
Redhead1's picture

The exnarc is blocked now. But I have put stuff on there to push him back when he hoovered. I have a picture of me and my kids(that I cropped him out of) as my profile. I am sure he didnt like that. Didnt care. It was the only current picture of myself. I hate getting my pic taken. My daughter deleted her account because she thinks it a way for most people to promote themselves. She's just 20 and some of the folks she had on there were doozies. Young guys and girls with tons of pictures of themselves. She said they all wanta be like Jersey Shore. LOL I have friends that I don't see a lot and family on mine. That's it. Facebook can be what you make it.