Narcette texted me......feeling awful :(

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#1 May 23 - 11AM
kgirl
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Narcette texted me......feeling awful :(

I've been doing so well.....haven't said a word to narcette since April 20th. I happenend to see her twice in my neighborhood yesterday...once while she was biking and again when she ran past my house...twice!....like stalker style. I was worried she might contact me after those sightings....and she did this morning.

She sent a text today that said.....

"I saw u pass by me a couple times yesterday.....how r u doing?? I wish you'd let me know.....I guess I'll find out when I see u at J and K's wedding."

This throws me some! First she's pretending to care how I'm doing....bullshit! And then she's sort of threatening me that she's going to approach me and find out for herself at this wedding of mutual friends in a month. This is a wedding I have to go to.....now I know for sure she's planning to be there....UGH!!!

This feels awful :( I have been missing my female companion so much...and now she's baiting me...HATE HER!!!
I have such an intense urge to text her back and say leave me the hell alone....haven't you done enough!!! You ripped my heart out of my chest without a second thought....don't you DARE pretend to care now!!!
Thanks for letting me vent....
I better stick to the board for a while again :)
XoXo~KG

May 23 - 9PM
Deidre40
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Your ex should get together

Your ex should get together with mine. haha They could rule the world together! :P Proud of you, KG for staying strong!!!!
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #37)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Thanks D! :) Now that's a

Thanks D! :) Now that's a thought....what a match up :) But does he like soup?? It's kinda big with her ;) LOL
May 23 - 9PM
Steph
Steph's picture

She doesn't give up does

She doesn't give up does she? Glad you held your own and didn't respond! Good for you:) I'm also surprised that her text didn't mention the "infamous soup" she ususally mentions! lol Stay strong xoxo
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #35)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

SS78 I know!...she doesn't

SS78 I know!...she doesn't give up.....I'm so worried about this wedding coming up! Yeah....she bumped it up a notch from soup ;) thank you :) XoXo ~KG
May 23 - 4PM
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture

Do You Have a Wedding Buddy?

Are you going to the wedding of mutual friends with someone? If not, you might want to find someone to go with whom you trust who knows your situation with Narcette. That way if Narcette approaches and starts to pull some b.s. (which you know she will) your wedding buddy can pull you onto the dance floor and get you out of the situation. I'm going to a wedding this weekend, which will thankfully not include the narc of mine but will include his narc proxys, whom I've dubbed the Goon Squad. My wedding buddy knows about the Goon Squad and has promised to help if either of them starts to give me crap about the narc or tell me stuff about the narc I don't want to hear, like how wonderful his sex life is. (Yes, you read that right. They would tell me those things! Blurgh!) Get a pod of nice people around you, recruit a wedding buddy, do what you can to be civil but stay away from Narcette. Good luck and let us know how it goes! {{hugs}}
May 23 - 10PM (Reply to #33)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Lobo555... Oh geez!....good

Lobo555... Oh geez!....good luck to you with the Goon Squad! I'm so glad you have a plan :) I will have a wedding buddy....and I'm not even going to the bathroom alone! Thank you so much for the support :) ~KG
May 23 - 4PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

KG

Don't let this woman get your goat...you are on to her, and so you know how to starve her. Look THROUGH HER!!! If it wasn't a wedding, I'd suggest when she comes near you to scream FIRE!...LOL I'm so sorry hun, but we'll get you toughened up somehow to get you through the big event. Hang in there. Hugs!
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #31)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Yes Michele!...I need to

Yes Michele!...I need to toughen up for this wedding! How do I do it?? Is there some NARC P90X I can do? :) Thank you always... ~KG
May 23 - 3PM
mynewlife2011
mynewlife2011's picture

delusional N's

They are truly delusional..in her mind at the time she sent the text sh e was was prob like, "oh yeah, hey, how ya doin'? I dont recall a falling out or anything, oh that, that was just miscommunication or bad weather that day..so yeah, hey how ya doin" They don't freaking care, they listen to their own scripts and stories they create until they believe their own lies. NC NC NC, in fact throw everything/everyone out of your life that reminds you of this monster.. but then i am at the angry stage At the wedding just look really bored around her, practice your best "boredom" face in the mirror. Do not give her the time of day. Be indifferent, and very brief- hello and goodbye only
May 23 - 10PM (Reply to #27)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

mynewlife2011... Yep....she

mynewlife2011... Yep....she is stuck in the past! For her it's like nothing has changed. Not sure if you were around when I posted about the soup...which you can see people joking about. But I literally had sent an email to her saying I don't want you in my life at all ever! Her next email was about how it would be nice to meet for lunch and have our favorite soup. HELLO....didn't you hear what I said?? She has mentioned this soup to me twice in the past month! At least this time she changed it up :)LOL Thanks for the support! ~KG
May 24 - 4AM (Reply to #29)
Lobo555
Lobo555's picture

Nickname

This calls for a Narc Nickname. She can be Soup Narci -- a riff on Soup Nazi from Seinfeld. :)
May 23 - 10PM (Reply to #28)
mynewlife2011
mynewlife2011's picture

you got this one..

Once you have them figured out it gets easier and easier, you can almost play a game with it- but even that isn't worth the thought Hugs!
May 23 - 3PM
ewa
ewa's picture

You are right, this

You are right, this meaningless text message you have received is really awful. This a complete bull**it what he wrote!
May 23 - 10PM (Reply to #25)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

ewa... Yep....a full serving

ewa... Yep....a full serving of BS with a little side of threatening. Hate her!
May 23 - 2PM
nancyh
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kauaigirl

As much as you want to respond to her text/hook, don't. I used to think the same thing, I'll send N a note to say "you ripped my heart out . . . " but that would just give the N supply – exactly what the N wants. Also, I think it is harder for the Ns when we don't respond at all, for two reasons (1) if we respond we start to wait for the response game and then get the edge of our seat anxiety, "why isn't N responding?", "When is N going to respond" and (2) if we say nothing they really don't know what to make of it - "did my kauaigirl move on?" "why isn't kauaigirl responding?" Let them fill in the blanks for a change and let their evil minds conjure up all kinds of scenarios. The most important reason not to respond is because NC isn't a punishment for the N but a way to regain our control and our sanity. Hugs, N

Nan

May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #23)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Nancy.... Even though I want

Nancy.... Even though I want to lash out....I know it will only end up hurting me more. I need NC for me.... She's not going to win this! Thanks for the support :) ~KG
May 23 - 3PM (Reply to #22)
Deidre40
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nancy

This, is a fantastic post, nancy! Amen!!
May 23 - 2PM
Jannie In the Sun
Jannie In the Sun's picture

Don't go back!

Don't look at Medusa! Steer clear of the siren! Hot flame! And finally...walk away from the vagina - it's attached to a vampire! Love Jannie In The Sun
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #20)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Jannie In the Sun.....I like

Jannie In the Sun.....I like your spunk :) You made me laugh today....not an easy feat! hugs!~KG
May 23 - 2PM
Alibi_10
Alibi_10's picture

Kauaigirl

Sorry you have had this - I had letter and phone call last week, and it makes you sick. This pattern seems to follow everything that has been so wisely written on here - about hoovering. I don't know why they can't leave us be and have to come back for more supply. Awful. It is so comforting to be able to come on here and get all the frustration out, ask questions and know there will be no come-back. You sound strong, though - and you know a reply would be futile. Not replying will not give her what she wants which is a result. Hugs
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #18)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Alibi_10... You're

Alibi_10... You're right....it does make you sick and sends you back into the pit. Thank goodness for this board and the amazing people I have met here :) Thank you! ~KG
May 23 - 1PM
cstandsforcunt
cstandsforcunt's picture

sing "I hear you knocking but you can't come in"

Woohooo! Good for you to stay strong! As much pain there is think of all the happiness of spurts of joy you find yourself feeling ever since you have been away. Even though it has been almost two months since I have officially seen mine, I am no way in the clear BUT I do find myself having glimpses of happiness, extra spunk in my steps, real smiles, and I can look to the future with hope like I can do whatever I want. The controlled and dictated so much of our life, it was like a prisoner but we didn't even know it! We are out of our life sentence and we want FREEDOM! (Of course it's easier said then done when you get the texts, emails, and run-ins....but at least, like I said, we get those happy glimpses. )
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #16)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

cstandsfor.... Thank YOU

cstandsfor.... Thank YOU :) I'm so happy to hear about the glimpses of happiness and the spunk in your steps. You SO deserve to feel all that and more. You are FREE sweet lady! XoXo ~KG
May 23 - 1PM
wacaet
wacaet's picture

gah, that's so horrible I'm

gah, that's so horrible I'm so glad my N seems to be done. Please don't respond, as tempting as it is, it seems that anything at all from us is supply to them. Don't give her the satisfaction
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #14)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

wacaet....thanks for the

wacaet....thanks for the support :) I thought narcette might be done too....this teaches us to never let our guard down with them! hugs! ~KG
May 23 - 1PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I'm sorry, KG. But, you

I'm sorry, KG. But, you remain strong! All she wants...is supply. I totally agree with the others. She can't stand that you have moved on. CAN'T STAND IT. She wants to hear you're curled up in a ball, sobbing over her. Please. Get real. She might miss you. I'm not going to lie and say they can't feel. They are human. BUT. Remember. Their desire to control, and have supply SUPERCEDES feelings for them. So, she feels...and she turns that into a need for supply. That's the disorder. Hang tough!!! You could send her a coupon for chicken tortilla soup. :P Kidding, I joke I joke...
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #11)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

{{{Deidre}}}....I miss

{{{Deidre}}}....I miss you! Thanks for your support always :) At least she changed it up this time and it wasn't about stupid soup!!! LOL I hope you are well sweet lady! XoXo ~KG
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #12)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

lol she's getting more real

lol she's getting more real now. getting to what really will make you tick. they are something. the soup didn't work. now, she is thinking...hmmm...i need to show her my ''feelings.'' I don't think it's a threat, about the wedding. But, more of a warning. That she will be there, and WILL want to chat. Get drunk! That will help. Kidding. I will pray that you handle yourself with poise and grace. You can. It might be cool to act nonchalant...say hello...make small talk. Then, go NC all over again. Look hawt, that's all I gotta say. I'm so bad. :P I miss you too...{{{hugs}}}
May 23 - 12PM
Kiwi2005
Kiwi2005's picture

Of course she comes with a

Of course she comes with a question mark text so you can respond. I KNOW how hard it is to not respond especially when you want to say something like "leave me the hell alone" but it's clear she's ran out of NS and needs so where she *thinks* she can get it from. Don't respond! Don't give in! Stay Strong!
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #9)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Kiwi2005.....I'm still

Kiwi2005.....I'm still NC...thanks for the support :)