Narcette changed her FB profile pic....

21 posts / 0 new

#1 Apr 22 - 7PM

kgirl

Narcette changed her FB profile pic....

.....and it hurts :( It was a picture from our trip to Hawaii over a year ago. My brain tells me that I should be happy about it. That she's moving on and maybe now she'll leave me in peace. Really, I don't want her back...EVER! But it still hurts my heart....maybe because this is just more evidence that the gig is up, the illusion is gone???
I was hoping it wouldn't hurt when she changed her picture....but it does :(

#2 Apr 23 - 2PM

kgirl

I wish it was as easy as

I wish it was as easy as "stop looking" for me. I'm not trying to see her on FB..... but i did through my daughters FB when she was online. My daughter is FB friends with narcette's daughter. This woman lives in my neighborhood less than a block from me. Her kids go to the same school as my children. We have some mutual friends....... there will be a wedding I need to be at in June and narcette will be there. We live in a town of about 10-15,000 people.....I am going to see this woman around and I just have to get strong enough to deal with it...... I do appreciate the support~KG

#3 Apr 23 - 2PM

Hunter

KG

She's fucking with you and you are taking the bait. Agree stop looking, Ignorance is Bliss. Hunter

#4 Apr 23 - 10AM

momoya

IDK

Stop looking? you got the closure right. I mean we all change our FB pics, maybe it was a particularly nice pic of better days. We assume alot when we go back and peek ya know.

momoya

#5 Apr 23 - 11AM (Reply to #7)

kgirl

momoyaI'm relatively new

momoya .....I'm relatively new here....I know I have a lot to learn. Do you have some insight for me?? If so, I wish you'd say it becasue your last two posts to me have not been particularily supportive or helpful. I'm doing the best I can right now. STOP LOOKING??...really?.....that applies to half the board here. Do you know my situation?? My N used her profile picture as a manipulative tool with me since day 1.... If you have some real insight for me....please just tell me. ~KG

#6 Apr 24 - 11AM (Reply to #17)

momoya

I am sorry

if you don't find my comments helpful I won't comment to you anymore..once we learn the tricks they use on us it's easy to spot the ploys and bait....regardless of how you found her on FB I am only pointing out that this is a common thing Narcs do and you will have to choose not to look, just like you choose not to speak/ have her in your life..that is all my insight I can share with you...If you know it has ALWAYS been a manipulative tool, then don't be manipulated by going and looking at it ... sorry if that is not considered 'suportive' enough to you.

momoya

#7 Apr 24 - 4PM (Reply to #18)

kgirl

momoya....I'm the sorry

momoya....I'm the sorry one...I'm sending you a PM... ~KG

#8 Apr 23 - 2PM (Reply to #15)

Hunter

Before last Thursday I would

Before last Thursday I would have had much insight, Now I have none. They never leave our lives. You need to prepare yourself for anything. The good the bad and the Ugly. NC will allow that preparation. Looking FB hurt too much so stop. Its one big trigger. I hope that helps. One sad Hunter :(

#9 Apr 24 - 4PM (Reply to #16)

kgirl

Hunter.....you DO have

Hunter.....you DO have insight! I'm sorry you've had a rought time lately. You're a strong, bright woman....you know all these narc games inside and out. I know you've had a setback, but I know you can overcome it. hugs for you ~KG

#10 Apr 23 - 11AM (Reply to #8)

Used

kg

b/c you are feeling vulnerable right now every thing looks like a reason, but regarding fb, i have changed my profile pic 2 in 2 weeks, it could be just that i understand where you are coming from, when narc joined fb he had his photo up[yuk], but when i joined he dissappeared all together, then when he came back he has no picture up, so twice i thought he has done that to piss me off, but has he?, the thing is people mess about with their profiles all the time, so maybe she would have done this anyway.xx i didn't know she owes you a $1,ooo dollars, oh thats diffrent, then this bitch is doing it on purpose, to piss you off, so she took money off you as well, oh what a charmer she is. then point is do you want to not look on fb or fight fire with fire, its your choice nowxx

#11 Apr 23 - 11AM (Reply to #9)

kgirl

Used...... believe me.....

Used...... believe me..... she had ALWAYS used her FB picture to get to me. When we were together, if she was mad at me, she'd put up some mushy picture of her and her husband. She put up the picture from our trip right when I told her we were done. Now when I say she can't be in my life at all.... she changed it to a glamour shot of just herself. I think that's fine and good and she should move on. I think maybe now she is "doing her thing"..... I just wasn't expecting that to hurt.... but it does :(. I just feel misunderstood right now :(

#12 Apr 23 - 11AM (Reply to #10)

Used

kg

so if you have fb, change your picture, if you realy think this bitch is doing it on purpose, put a nice pic up of your selfxx

#13 Apr 23 - 11AM (Reply to #11)

kgirl

I think her last picture

I think her last picture change is her moving on..... it's a good thing. I don't want to play any games with her anymore. Thanks for your support :) ~KG

#14 Apr 23 - 12PM (Reply to #12)

Used

kg

her last picture is not about moving on ,if it was she wouldnt have put something relating to you both, they dont give up that easy, i think if you could perhaps stay off fb that will help YOU move on, i know i am glad myexn pic is just blank b/c then i could be looking at any one, if his photo was up ,then that would be diffrent for mexx

#15 Apr 23 - 12PM (Reply to #13)

Deidre40

used

can you clarify what you mean by her last pic isn't about her moving on? thanks, used...think I know what you mean, but curious I'm on the right page.

#16 Apr 23 - 12PM (Reply to #14)

Used

deidre40

well how i see it she has put up a photo of a holiday she and kg were on, if that was me i woundnt put up a photo of a place i had been with my narc, not if i was moving on, if i was moving on i would do a pic in no way associated with my exn.

#17 Apr 22 - 7PM

Deidre40

In a sense. She took your

In a sense. She took your reply seriously. Which is a good thing. I know you want to move on. I am still of the belief that everything they do, is for attention. Everything. She knows you saw that. Why did she have that up anyways? It was over before you sent her that recent note. I am sorry though, just the same. I know this hurts. {{hugs}} Know that this too shall pass...eventually. It's a process, this whole thing. I have decided to stop logging on to that other website we used to belong to together. I still lurk, and soon...that won't interest me. But, maybe try to take a break from looking at her FB. It's very hard, the first few days...but, after that, your brain forgets. It fades. I am proud of you that you sent her that note, though. It was hard to do, but you did the right thing.

#18 Apr 22 - 8PM (Reply to #2)

kgirl

Yep D....there is an agenda

Yep D....there is an agenda for everthing they do! I think she had that Hawaii picture up in the first place as a lure.... a way to try to make me remember the good times. Or maybe as a jab because she still owes me over $1000 for that trip. It's so lame because she put that Hawaii picture up AFTER we broke up. Talk about mind games! Now she's probably trying to hurt me because of that email I sent by changing her picture. And it did....but she'll never know that! I hate that it hurt me....I can't wait to get to that place of indifference. I'm so tired of this rollercoaster. You're right....it is a process...but I have great company :) Hugs back to you! ~KG

#19 Apr 22 - 8PM (Reply to #3)

Deidre40

I'm so tired of it too. I

I'm so tired of it too. I really really am. I just want to not care. I'm slowly getting there. Knowing he lied to me is making things a helluva lot easier. Think he didn't think that one through. He probably didn't think I'd note the date...or did want me to see he had been friending random women while we were dating. Either way, he sucks. lol I think that you are 100% correct about that hawaii pic. It was a lure. Same with the pics he has kept up of me. Caused me to text him, and then him to ignore...and then act all high and mighty...like telling me to 'leave him alone. this is what you wanted.' Sometimes, I think the internet causes more harm than good. lol If we only had phones...like the old days. We wouldn't be affected so much. Although, back in college, a guy used to prank me after I broke up with him. lol Nevermind. :P

#20 Apr 22 - 9PM (Reply to #4)

kgirl

Funny...I pretty much wrote

Funny...I pretty much wrote that same thing about the internet in my PM to you :) We're going to get to that place of indifference D, I know it! I'm amazed at how far you've come ....you're doing so well :) xoxo ~KG

#21 Apr 23 - 12PM (Reply to #5)

Deidre40

{{hugs}} Here's the thing.

{{hugs}} Here's the thing. Why do we look? Why do I care if that jerk still has my profile comments up? The answer probably is...human nature, and that this is all still raw. If you were 5 years NC...I'd wonder about ya, KG! LOL But, you're not. Let yourself feel all this pain...ride it out...and eventually, you'll wake up one day. And not even REALIZE you didn't look at her FB page all day. NC starts off as a hard thing, but then thorugh the grace of God, it becomes a blessing. I had this happen with my narc of last year. I activated my FB page and would obsessively check his wall. Looking for clues...whatever. But, then one day...I stopped. Like it just didn't mean anything to me anymore. Now, he's hoovering me again. :P Life's funny. But...you are very normal to look. I said I was leaving that site, not going to post for a while...I posted today. Now, I'm not following him or anything. I do not want his attention, but like him...he could care less about my feelings, so if I happen to chat with a guy that he detested...OH WELL BABY!

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